Like we never mattered.
"You're pregnant?" He whispers, too quiet in this too loud room. He rarely speaks out loud in public, and I know he's too in shock to notice his slip-up.
I nod, worried how this will play out. Worried how it will end.
"Is it mine?" He snarls quietly, like a fucking predator. He looks untamed, which is so unlike him. Always so put together, always so sure of his surroundings.
His face has so many emotions flitting past it that I can barely keep up. Two are the most prominent and the most heartbreaking—like the thought of the kid being his is horrifying, but the thought of the kid being anyone else's is almost more painful.
I nod, not sure what else to say. Who else's would it be?
It’s like a bomb goes off.
Jackson’s face turns from red to purple, and his eyes grow wide as he takes a step back and lifts the chair behind him, whipping it with both hands towards the bar. People scream and run for cover as glasses and bottles shatter into tiny pieces across the bar table and floor.
“What the fuck, Cara?” Jackson roars. Hollers, really. I’ve never seen him so angry, nor have I ever heard him yell so loudly before. The quiet spoken Jackson has snapped in half.
He gives me a look of disgust before walking towards the exit without another word.
“Jackson!” I snap out of my shock and race after him.
“Fuck you, Cara. Leave me the fuck alone!” Jackson barks, slamming the back door shut in my face. The humid air from outside blasts across my face like it doesn’t want me around, either.
The emotions from today finally bubble over, and I let loose a strangled sob from deep in my throat as I pull open the heavy door and run after him.
“Jackson! Jackson!” I sob as I run after him.
He doesn’t acknowledge me and keeps walking, and I wonder how long he’s going to walk until I see Easton’s truck in the distance.
“Stop! Please… stop.” I gasp and bend over, winded from running so fast and crying so hard. Jackson is one dark blob moving away from me and I’m sure to a passerby I look like a psychotic clinger.
He stops at Easton’s truck, and hesitantly lifts his gaze over his shoulder to look at me. I give him a look of pure need. It’s not that I want to be with Jackson, but I want to be given a chance to explain. A chance for him to hear the words coming out of my mouth instead of from Rose. I try to express all of this with my eyes from yards away, but all he does is give me his signature blank stare before hopping in and speeding away.
That’s it.
He’s gone.
I curl forward and press my forehead against the pavement, letting out a guttural groan and weeping all over the ground.
I barely notice when Rose comes up behind me and lays a hand on my shoulder. “Come on, hun. Let’s go home.” She says softly, helping me up.
I barely notice as she carries me to her car and buckles me in.
I don’t pay attention to the drive home, crying so hard I can barely see straight.
I’m barely conscious when she helps me into the house and into my bed, tucking me in and staying next to me the entire night as I cry myself to sleep.
I cry for Jackson.
I cry for Logan.
I cry for the parents who don’t love me.
I cry for the baby I’ll never really call my own.
I cry for myself because I’ll always be alone.
I just cry.