Chapter Sixteen
September 27, 1818
London, England
Westfield House
It was the night of the celebration ball at Lord Westfield’s townhouse—John’s father. Since arriving, Caroline stood on the sidelines of the drawing room near a collection of potted plants, watching the crush of people and wondering how she would manage to not bolt from the room in terror.
Yet, in all honesty, those feelings didn’t batter her insides as strongly as they’d once before. Why? Her brain searched for answers while she observed the party guests. Across the room, her Cousin Andrew and his wife Sarah chatted with two other couples. Jewels glittered around her neck and at her wrists, sparkling like fire in the candlelight. A ruby in the depths of Andrew’s cravat did the same. It looked much like a drop of blood. Why did he choose to wear such a stone?
The soothing sounds from a string quartet reached her ears. In her mind, she followed the piece of music, for she’d played it often enough on the pianoforte. Now that they weren’t at Hadleigh Hall, would John procure her a similar instrument? She hadn’t inquired into his yearly income, for that wasn’t important to her; she’d only wanted him and all he stood for.
Near the open terrace doors, her cousins Finn and Brand chatted in some animation, if the gestures of their hands and heads were any indication. Did they argue or merely discuss something with passion? She didn’t know but seeing them tugged a faint smile from her as well as gave her a sense that everything wasn’t as bad as she’d once thought. Already, she considered Brand a friend. Finn was more of a challenge, but he was so jolly and easy to talk with—and he wrote books that had happy endings which had elevated him in her opinion—that she hoped he soon would be.
As her gaze drifted, it encountered the baron, who stood at the door to the room with a snifter of brandy in his hand. He watched her with dark eyes and an assessing expression, but there was no mirth to be found about him. What was he thinking? The longer she stared at him, the less she decided she liked him. The muscles in her belly tightened. He was not a friend. As of yet, he hadn’t made an effort to talk with her outside of greeting her upon arrival.
Finally, she looked away only to have her attention snared when she found John, who walked her way with purpose and intent in his long strides and a certain light in his golden-brown eyes that made her breath catch. Oh, it was glorious how handsome he was in full evening clothes! The tails on his black jacket gave him a distinguished air, and the peridot satin waistcoat drew her eye to that abdomen she enjoyed and had only three days prior explored with her tongue and lips. But what held her attention and had flutters of desire dancing through her lower belly was the grin of pleasure on his lips; he always looked at her thusly anymore.
“John.” Even though she’d arrived at this location with her cousin as well as her husband and had already seen him in his finery, she couldn’t stop staring. “I thought you wished to talk with your father.”
“He can wait, for right now, I know a powerful urge to take my wife out for the waltz the musicians are preparing to play.” He held out a gloved hand to her. “Will you?”
At each posting inn they’d stayed at during the journey back to London, he’d made certain they practiced waltzing so she wouldn’t feel self-conscious or afraid now. “Yes.” The sensation of falling assailed her, and as soon as she slipped her gloved fingers into his palm, the slide accelerated, but with John there, she knew he would catch her at the end. He always did, was always there encouraging her.
“Besides, you are easily the most beautiful woman in attendance tonight,” he said as he led her to an open spot in the makeshift dance floor. “That gown makes you look as if you’ve tumbled from the heavens merely to tempt me.”
The low rumble of his voice reverberated in her chest. That tickle enhanced the other more pronounced trembles moving deep inside her core. How was it that this one man had managed to captivate her so much and so quickly? But then, she supposed they had known each other since last Christmastide… “You already said that. First at Cousin Andrew’s home and then in the carriage.”
“Can I help it if it’s the truth?” He arched a bushy eyebrow. “And I like giving my wife compliments. I suspect you didn’t have many in your life and now you should be showered with them.”
She’d yet to become accustomed to them. For a few seconds, Caroline blinked away tears from her eyes. “It’s a favorite gown.” John had gifted it to her some days ago while still at Hadleigh Hall but she hadn’t had cause to wear it. The pale blue silk was almost white in some lighting. An overskirt panel of sheer gauze sprinkled with tiny, embroidered silver stars and crescent moons winked each time she moved. It was attached to the front part of the gown by a silver ribbon that tied in the back with trailing tails. The enamel crescent moon pendant swung at her collarbones every time she moved, while the softest pale blue tulle lined the low bodice and capped sleeves.
“I knew it would look wonderful on you when I bought it.” He winked, and when the first notes of the music lifted into the air, he led her over the floor.
“Silly man. Bought it you did in a temper when I was” Caroline blew out a breath. She couldn’t concentrate on the steps of the dance and converse at the same time.
“Indeed, but I know how you adore fancy, ethereal gowns, and I wished to gift one to you. It was coincidence you had an occasion to wear it.”
“Oh.” Ever since she’d shared about the crescent moon pendant, he’d never forgotten. Her heart fluttered. Truly, her husband was the most kind-hearted man, but would he ever love her? Tell her that? “You are…” She searched her mind for the appropriate words. There were none. “Amazing.”
And he was hers. That was perhaps the great miracle and one she couldn’t quite stop marveling at. This man had plucked her from obscurity, from a miasma of fear and loneliness, merely to set her free with understanding and perhaps love, in time.
Each time the steps took her away from him, her stomach bottomed out and she feared she would stumble or forget all he’d taught her, but then he was there to collect her once more, twirl her over the floor in the midst of a handful of other couples, and the emotions in his eyes worked at stealing her breath. Not once did her feet fail her. Did he feel as fortunate as she? And ever since he’d introduced her to the joys of coupling, she couldn’t have enough of him.
“If you continue to look at me like that, Mrs. Butler, the whole room will bear witness to me embarrassing myself.”
That struck her as funny, so she laughed and realized she’d done more of that while being with him than she had all her life. She shrugged as the dance came to an end. “I like you.”
“Oh, that’s more than obvious.” The rumble of his laugh enhanced her awareness of him.
“Shouldn’t have to hide it.” Why did everyone insist on making things so complicated? A thing was either there or it wasn’t.
John chuckled. He escorted her to the side of the room where Cousin Andrew waited. “Agreed, but perhaps wait until we’re alone.” When he raised her hand to his lips and placed a fleeting kiss on her middle knuckle, heat went through her cheeks. “Thank you for the dance.”
She nodded and caught her cousin’s eye. “John is a marvelous dancer.”
“So I saw. I had no idea you knew how to dance, let alone waltz.”