“Only if you wish it.”
She pulled a face which had Brand chuckling. “If he isn’t noisy, but I wish to try and make friends.” Again, her words were precise, slightly delayed as if she were attempting to set them in the correct order. “Like I am with Cousin Brand.” When she caught John’s gaze, the trace of sadness in hers made his chest tighten. “Need to move forward, out of the old and into the new.”
“It’s always a good idea. There is much to look forward to.” John grinned, for he couldn’t be happier with the direction they were both going. “However, I’ll admit, Hadleigh is full of bluster usually. I’m certain you can handle him, and you can also say your goodbyes to the countess and their baby.”
She shrugged. “My own might have babies soon too.” The words, though jumbled, were said in such a matter-of-fact manner that he stared.
Regardless that Brand was in the room, John’s whole being went taut. “You want young ones of your own?” When had she changed her mind? For that matter, he hadn’t used a sheath or any other form of prevention, so it stood to reason such a thing could happen.
A pleased grin curved her lips, and he was hard-pressed not to keep staring at her mouth. “It is what comes next, John. Don’t you know that?”
Brand’s loud guffaws echoed through the room. With his eye streaming with tears, he scrambled up from his chair. “Ah, Cousin, you do a heart good. And by all means, yes, keep teasing my mate here. He’d prove a wonderful father. Our children can grow up together as best friends.” The look he gave John was mischievous. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, there are last minute plans to make before we depart tomorrow morning.”
“But what about tea?”
He waved a hand at the door. “Enjoy! Besides, I rather think your wife wants you to herself just now. I recognize that look, you lucky bastard. That’s another thing I miss about being away from Ipswich…”
Once he’d left the drawing room, John studied Caroline’s face. She certainly was thinking hard about something, and when her focus kept jogging to his mouth, his neck, a wave of heat swept over him. Now that she’d had a taste of intercourse, it seemed she was bound and determined to enjoy the hell out of it.
And devour him along the way. Catch him up in that storm.
“Are you certain you wish to go back to London and see my father again?” For he wasn’t. Not at all. The more he thought upon the idea, the more cold foreboding twisted up his spine. Something was in the wind. He’d wager his savings upon it.
“Yes.” She nodded. When she threaded their fingers together, she traced his palm with her other hand. “There will be dancing, yes?”
“Of course.” And knowing his father, it would be lavish celebration which would sink the title deeper into debt. “As long as you don’t mind being out in society.” They hadn’t tested her endurance since being in Derbyshire. It was one thing to see her calm and comfortable when in his company or that of Brand’s, but quite another to thrust her into a situation she wasn’t ready for. Would that undo the progress they’d already made?
She shrugged. “I will ignore people.”
Oh, if only he had the luxury of doing the same.
While the butler returned with the tea service, Caroline continued. “I can wear a pretty dress and tiara.” Her eyes lit and sparkled. Had she always been such a beauty? “You will put on fancy clothes too. Then will we dance. Like the storybooks.”
John nodded his thanks. Once they were alone again in the room, he sighed. “I suppose we can, and you do look smashing in ball gowns.” That would afford him the exquisite opportunity of getting her out of said gown…
“You’re handsome.” Caroline patted his cheek. Again, her gaze drifted to his mouth, and he stifled a groan. “Dancing is romantic.”
“It can be, of course.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back. Did he dare to kiss her into a state of passion that she might wish to copulate right here in the drawing room? Then another thought occurred that he hadn’t considered. “Have you ever danced before?”
“No.” She glanced to the tea tray. “I memorized all the different ones, though. Have watched others do them countless times.” When she focused on him, her chin quivered. “Teach me?” There was such hope and expectation in those blue-gray depths that his heart squeezed.
“I can’t think of anything else I’d like better.” Oh, his wife was so endearing and vulnerable that he wanted to scoop her up and protect her from all of life’s ills. Though he harbored huge reservations about putting her back into the lion’s den of his father’s presence, if she wished to do this, then it meant she wanted to conquer something she didn’t like about herself. He’d learned that much about her, at least. “Do you want tea first or a dancing lesson?”
Again, she eyed the tea tray, but when her gaze met his again, her grin was brilliant. “Dance first. Then tea. Then you.” The way her voice lingered over that last word lit tiny fires of need in his blood.
“Never let it be said that I kept you waiting.” He gained his feet and brought her into a standing position with him, but the warmth of her, the trust mixed with need in her eyes, the floral scent of her distracted him from his purpose. “However, I think there’s something we need before dancing lessons.” Cupping her cheek, he slid his fingers into the silky mass of her hair and then gently lowered his mouth to hers.
She surrendered with a tiny sigh. As she looped her arms about his shoulders and stood on her toes to better kiss him back, John wrapped his arms around her, settled her more comfortably into his embrace. Never in his life had he known such perfect contentment or the sensation of coming home as contained within another person. Caroline had easily become his North Star in the short time they’d been together. Her light and determination to be seen as an individual guided his own path, made him want to be much more than he was merely because she already thought of him as her hero.
As he moved over her petal-soft lips, reacquainted himself with her mouth, learned even more how she enjoyed being kissed, an image appeared in his mind’s eye of her standing at the door of a modest cottage with the sea in the background. At her side was a child of perhaps five—a boy—who had his blond hair but her storm-tossed eyes, while a girl child sat on her hip, all dark brown ringlets and brown eyes with a thumb in her mouth, no older than three. Caroline’s belly was slightly swollen with another child on the way.
He wanted the vision more than he’d wanted anything in his life, yet how could either of them have such when declarations of love hadn’t been uttered? It was one thing to lie with one’s wife of convenience but quite another matter entirely to develop deep feelings for her.
Would that ever happen? Already, he was exceedingly fond of her, and there were moments when he’d felt a profound something that he couldn’t name, didn’t dare to lest it slip through his fingers. But what of her? Would she ever learn to love him back should he complete the fall down that slippery slope?
In the end, it didn’t matter, for he had her in this moment, and it was as damned near perfect as it could be as they continued to kiss. Eventually, he set her at arm’s length in order to catch his breath. With a grin and a shaking hand, he lifted one of hers to his lips and kissed the back. “Sweeting, if we don’t stop, we’ll never complete tea nor get to those dancing lessons.”
Her slow smile and knowing glint in her eyes nearly had him spending in his breeches. “You make me feel like…”
“Yes?” Would she declare her feelings?
Caroline shrugged, and those kiss-swollen lips curved in a soft grin. “Magic. Like springtime. Like I have become music.”
It wasn’t exactly what he yearned to hear, but it was uniquely Caroline and it made him the happiest of men. “Ah, my girl, what the devil have I done right in my life to have been given you?” But he thanked the Creator that he was, for he suspected he rather liked her more than was good for him. “We’re going to have such fun in Ipswich and the sea.”
The only fly in the ointment was his father’s ball. Would that everything would go smoothly, and they could all go their own ways without the typical Drury Lane drama.