The next day, the ax falls. The entire school is buzzing with news from the moment we walk in. People shoot us dirty looks, and as we walk down the hall, a chorus of deep, furious woofs follows us. I walk forward on trembling legs, keeping my eyes straight ahead. My brothers don’t know this is for me alone. They haven’t witnessed it before.
When we arrive at my locker, Royal touches my elbow. “You okay?”
“Fine,” I say, twisting the combination lock.
Duke grins and blows kisses to the masses, seemingly oblivious to the hatred that accompanies the barking. For him, attention is attention. He’s eating it up.
“Once they see us play, they’ll be singing a different tune,” Baron says, leaning against the locker next to mine.
“They’ll be groveling on the floor for a chance to suck our dicks,” Duke says. “And I’ll remind them exactly how much they have to make up for.”
Royal walks me to class, where even Colt doesn’t want to sit with me. I figure out the hate, though. Preston is suspended from the next game, which is Homecoming. Devlin is suspended from the team indefinitely. I know it’s perfect, just what my brothers wanted. But I can’t help but think of the other side of it. Just as Dixie reminded me that I deserved my spot on the cheer squad at my last school, I know that Devlin’s position isn’t one he takes for granted. I hear him out there throwing the ball almost every night. He’s worked for that position for who knows how long. And here come my brothers, ready to steal it out from under him. He didn’t do anything to deserve that.
I wonder what he’ll have left by the time the Dolces are done with him. He’s lost his beautiful car. He’s lost his place on the team. According to Dixie he doesn’t date, but from the number of days that both Dolly and Preston leave class together, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even have his biggest fan anymore.
That night, when I can’t sleep, I stand on my balcony listening to the silence in the Darlings’ backyard. A single light is on upstairs, and I stare at the gentle glow inside the rectangle, willing Devlin to appear. But the house remains quiet. He threatened to break me, but I’m afraid my brothers have broken him first. He has given up his midnight practice, and at school, he avoids me entirely.
A thought worms its way into my mind, refusing to leave. What if I’m not the only bully in my family? A cool wind rustles the magnolia in the backyard, and I pull the belt of my robe tight around me, but I can’t seem to get warm. I can’t shake the lingering thought, even when I go back inside and lock the door, close the curtains, and crawl into bed, pulling my pillows over my head. What my brothers are doing, that’s not the same as what I did. They saw something they wanted, and they went for it. That’s what people are supposed to do.
People aren’t supposed to cut down another person for no reason. That’s what I did. It’s totally different than what my brothers are doing. They’re ambitious, determined, and persevering. I was small and mean and weak. That’s the difference. My brothers are strong, a force to be reckoned with. I’m weak. I saw that in another person, and I wanted to destroy it. They don’t care who the Darlings are or what they want. If the Darlings didn’t exist, they’d still want the same thing.
I roll over, pressing the pillow down over my ears, as if I can block out the silence of Devlin not practicing. This is silly. My brothers aren’t bad. They just don’t take no for an answer. They know what they want, and they take it. They just don’t care who they have to step on to get it.
*
Friday rolls around at last, and with some trepidation, I agree to join my brothers at the homecoming game. We all pile into the Range Rover and go to pick up Dixie. She lives in a regular subdivision in a new house that could be found in the suburbs of any city anywhere. She rushes out and flings open the door, her words cutting off when she sees all of my brothers in the car with me. Her cheeks turn pink, and her eyes go wide with fear, as if she’s afraid we’re playing a horrible trick on her and we’re going to speed off laughing.
“Hop that fat ass up here on my lap,” Duke says, patting his thigh and grinning at her.
“Don’t call her that,” I say, throwing an elbow into his side.
“Hey, it’s not an insult,” he says, taking Dixie’s hand and helping her onto his lap. “If she wasn’t your friend, I’d have my dick buried ten inches deep in this ass.”
“Cut it out,” King snaps from the front seat.
“Thank you,” I say. “I don’t think my friend needs to hear about your perversions, especially not when she’s sitting in your lap.”
“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” Duke says, squeezing Dixie’s hips. “Am I right?”
She lets out a squeal of laughter, blushing even harder than she usually does around my brothers.
When we get to the game, the parking lot is packed. You’d think it was a Patriot’s game the way people have decked out their cars in black and gold. Windows are painted with “Go Knights,” along with various jersey numbers.
As we climb out of the car, a group of fans goes tearing through the parking lot carrying a huge black flag with a gold knight insignia on it. They’re all wearing Knights jerseys and full face paint.
I catch my brothers glancing at each other. King grins, and I can feel the excitement radiating off them as we head for the gates. Not just excitement at watching a football game, but excitement at this new and very welcome change from our old school. Sure, people went to those games. Parents of players, other students, and a few alumni. This is so much bigger than that.
After the uneasy week at school, it’s nice to see my brothers bursting with positive energy again. One look in Royal’s dark eyes, and I know I was being too hard on them the other night. Royal might be as fucked up as the rest of us, but he’s good and strong and protective, and he’d do anything for me.
I give him a quick hug before falling back to walk next to Dixie.
“It looks like the entire town is here,” I comment, searching the crowd automatically, not realizing I’m looking for Devlin until the little surge of hope inside me dies when I don’t find him.
“Yeah,” she says. “We’re playing Faulkner High.”
“Ah,” I say, remembering that Daddy mentioned them. “Our public school rival.”
“We only play them once every season,” Dixie says. “And maybe once in the playoffs. Whoever wins has bragging rights for the entire year. I’m sure the Darlings have been over there pranking their school all week. They barely even remembered we exist this week.”