Chapter Five
Cosima
She had been in the hospital for a few days. It was loud and bright and there were so many people around all the time. They all wanted to talk to her, ask her questions, look at her, poke at her, touch her. Except then no one seemed to know quite what to do with her.
It was nice, though, in a way. There was food, even if it hurt to eat. And as much water as she wanted to drink. Her bed was really clean and white and comfortable and she liked how she could push buttons to make the top part of it go up and down. She maybe did that a lot. There was a TV too but she didn’t dare turn it on.
A white lady with long dark hair named Nora came to talk to her a lot. Asked her so many questions about who she was, where she had come from, and what had happened to her. Cosima didn’t really know what to say.
She didn’t want to get Master in trouble but she also didn’t know anyone else. She’d thought maybe Hudson would come see her because he’d been upset when they took her away in the ambulance and wouldn’t let him come. His friend with the red hair, Ian, had had to hold him back, even.
But Hudson hadn’t been here. She’d been stupid to think he would come. He had better things to do than visit a crazy girl who he didn’t even know. That’s how she felt too. Like she was crazy.
The fear had come back too, about what the hell she was supposed to do now. In between all the poking and the prodding and the tests and checking on her bandages and asking her questions, she had a lot of time to think which meant a lot of time being scared. She had no one, nothing, no skills, no money. She felt like one of those people who woke up from a coma to discover she’d missed years of the world. In a way she had.
She was starting to work herself into a tizzy again when there was a soft knock on the door and Nora poked her head in, gave her a gentle smile.
“Hi, Cosima. I brought a friend of mine to talk to you.”
That was weird.
Nora came the rest of the way in, her long skirt swaying around her legs and the lanyard she had around her neck jingling. She had a clipboard too, one with paper she was constantly scribbling on, and she tucked it under her arm as she gestured to the man who had followed her into the room. He was a tall Black man with a friendly face.
“This is Doctor Eric Southerland. Mostly he’s a pediatrician and doesn’t work at the hospital, but sometimes he helps us with special patients.”
She wasn’t totally sure but she didn’t think “special” meant anything good in this situation.
“Hi, Cosima. Nora and I have worked together for a long time and she said I had to come meet you because she thought we’d get along really well. You can call me Doctor Eric.”
Nora looked between the two of them and Doctor Eric put a hand on Nora’s upper arm.
“Can I have a few minutes alone with Cosima?”
“Is that okay with you?” Nora asked her.
That was one of the funny things about being here. People told her what they were going to do before they did it and often asked if it was okay. It had been such a long time since she had a choice about pretty much anything that it was kinda scary and exhausting. But she liked it in a way too? She wasn’t totally sure yet.
“Um, alright.”
“Okay,” Nora said, looking like she didn’t totally believe her. “I’ll be right out in the hall and I’ll leave the door cracked. Give a holler if you need anything.”
Cosima blinked and Nora left, leaving a few inches between the door and the frame when she drew it mostly closed.
“Mind if I sit down?” Doctor Eric asked, gesturing to a chair in the corner and not the one at the head of the bed.
She nodded, unsure of what to say to this man. He seemed nice but what would a pediatrician want with her? She was twenty-four—that much she knew—and that was too old for a kids’ doctor.
“So I heard you know my friends Hudson and Ian.”
Cosima’s heart stuttered. “You know Hudson?”
“I do. He’s been one of my good friends for a long time. He’s a really nice guy, isn’t he?”
What was she supposed to say? She’d thought he was nice but he hadn’t come to see her so maybe he wasn’t that nice. Doctor Eric seemed to sense she was struggling and leaned forward, setting his elbows on his knees.
“I know he’s really worried about you. He’d like to see you but he hasn’t been allowed. He asked me to let him know how you’re doing when I told him I was coming to see you. Is that okay?”
Hope inflated her heart. “He wants to see me?”