“So much,” he assured her, and it made her feel warm inside even as she picked at the blanket with her nails. “If I can make it happen would you like to see him?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, I’ll work on that. Can you tell me how you know Hudson?”
Cosima snapped her mouth shut. Master had told her if she ever told anyone about him that he’d kill her and she believed it.
She’d tried to fend off as many questions as possible when the doctors and nurses and Nora and even a couple police officers were interrogating her, but for some reason she wasn’t as scared of Doctor Eric. He was Hudson’s friend. Maybe he knew about Hive…
But what if he didn’t? Or what if he was lying and he was trying to get Hudson in trouble for helping her? What if he thoughtHudsonhad done these bad things to her? She couldn’t let anyone think that.
“He didn’t hurt me.”
“I believe you,” Doctor Eric said easily.
“I…I don’t know him very well,” she hedged, looking down at her fingers again.
“You know him well enough for him to care about you a lot.”
Hudson cared about her? He had seemed to from the moment she’d met him but she hadn’t been able to believe it. Didn’t completely even now, but it was all she had to grab a hold of.
“If I tell you, can I see him?”
“I can’t make any promises, but I can make recommendations to the people who are taking care of you. Not to toot my own horn but they think I’m alright.”
He smiled at her, winked, and seemed a little disheartened when she didn’t smile back.
Was it worth it? To risk telling him for a chance at seeing Hudson? They had asked if they could call her parents when she first arrived here, and no,no, definitely not.
At least now she knew they were still alive. But they probably hated her. And if they didn’t, she didn’t want to tell them, couldn’t explain… Anyway, she didn’t really wantanyoneto see her like this. She’d seen herself in a mirror finally and she was hideous.
“It’s complicated,” she muttered.
“I’m just a doctor not a rocket scientist, but try me. If it helps, I’ve been to his club. I know what goes on there.”
Possibly noticing that her eyes had gone as wide as possible given that one was still pretty swollen, Doctor Eric scooted his chair closer—still not close enough to touch her—and cupped a hand around his mouth like he didn’t want anyone else to hear what he was going to say. It was silly since they were the only two here.
“I’ve maybe played there myself.”
Oh.
“So I’m not going to be upset if you talk about that.”
That did make things easier. A little anyway.
“I…I went to his club.”
There. That was the truth. Some of it anyway.
“By yourself?”
“No, with my…”
She couldn’t. She felt like her breath got cut off eventhinkingabout saying Master’s name out loud. Like his hand was closing around her throat. He’d liked to choke her even though she hated it. Over and over Master would cut off her air until her vision started to darken around the edges and she panicked but he wouldn’t stop until he felt like it. Sometimes not until she passed out. She was never sure if she’d wake up again.
“With your top?” Doctor Eric suggested and Cosima nodded even though it made her queasy and so anxious her hands shook.
“That’s how I know Hudson.”