Chapter Fifteen
Cosima
By the time Daddy had given her a second bottle, her tummy was full and she was so warm and snuggly and tired that she fell asleep right in his lap and woke the same way. It even felt like she was still sucking on the bottle, but when she put her hand up, there was no bottle there. She had a pacifier in her mouth and she was holding her bunny, much as Hudson was holding her.
“Hi, sweet girl,” he greeted her, a smile tipping up the corners of his mouth. “You fell asleep with your bottle but it’s not good for little girls to get too much air in their tummies so we swapped it out for a pacifier. Does it feel good to have something to suck on?”
Master would’ve—and had—mocked her for anything he considered childish. But Daddy seemed to like it when she was interested in or enjoyed things that were supposed to be for kids or babies. Her bunny, the pretty clothes they’d brought her, the coloring books and crayons they’d given her too. She didn’t think Hudson was asking only to take the pacifier away once she’d confirmed she liked it. No, he wasn’t like that.
So she nodded and ran her tongue around the silicone, trying to breathe easy because Daddy wasn’t going to hurt her.
“You’re so pretty with that paci tucked in your mouth, babygirl. And pacifiers can help you relax. I thought you’d like it.”
He didn’t expect her to say anything so she turned her attention to her bunny, rubbing a satin ear between her fingers. It was strange to be able to lay here in Hudson’s arms, content with a pacifier in her mouth and a stuffie to play with. It was like a pleasant hum of happiness that felt like a dream.
After a few minutes, her daddy stroked the backs of his knuckles down her cheek to get her attention.
“It’s time for your bath, Cosy. I know they cleaned you up at the hospital but I bet a bath will feel really good.”
A bath? A real, hot, up-to-her-neck soak in a tub? Maybe with bubbles? Oh, maybe even with toys. She nodded because she didn’t want to let go of her paci just yet and that made Hudson’s smile get even bigger. He really liked her this way. It seemed like he really liked her, period.
He scooped her up and carried her down the hall and toward the doorway Ryker had disappeared through yesterday. Wasn’t there a bathroom on this floor? Maybe it didn’t have a tub?
Spotting her confusion, he patted her bottom. “There’s a special tub for little girls upstairs, and I thought you’d like to see the playroom.”
Oh, shewasexcited to see the playroom. Up on the third floor, Hudson toted her down the brick-walled hallway. There were a few doors that were closed and she wondered idly what they were. Then there was an open door and she caught sight of Ryker sitting at a desk with a few computer monitors in front of him, Stella the cat draped over the yoke of his shoulders.
She wasn’t completely sure about Ryker—not the way she was sure about Hudson, or almost-sure like she was about Ian—but she did wonder if someday he’d let her cuddle in his lap while he was working, or even at his feet.
She’d spent a lot of time at Master’s feet. When he was doing it to hurt and humiliate her, she hadn’t cared for it. But in the times it had been her choice, when she could simply lie down on the floor and curl around his feet or sit there and lean her head on his knee, she’d loved it.
Loved the way it told her she wasn’t in charge, that everything would be taken care of. Sometimes Master had even stroked her hair and that was the happiest she’d ever been. If Ryker could be as easy with her as he was with Stella—
Hudson carried her to the end of the hall where there was a double set of bright yellow doors. He twisted the knob on one and then swung them both open, revealing the prettiest room she’d ever seen.
The ceiling was painted blue with puffy white clouds and there was a big yellow plush sun hung in one corner and a matching moon in another. There were different scenes painted on different walls: a farm on one, a castle on another, a cityscape on the third, and when she turned her head to see the fourth wall, she almost squeaked. It was under the sea and there were fish and mermaids and whales and even a shark amongst a bunch of colorful coral. So pretty.
And then there was the furniture. An oversized crib, a rocking chair, what looked like a changing table, and a rocking horse. All the most pristine white with colorful cushions and blankets. She wanted to get down and look around but she’d probably never stop.
“What do you think, babygirl?”
She pulled her paci from her mouth and let it dangle on the clip that attached it to her camisole. “It’s beautiful, Daddy.”
“Not scary?” he ventured.
“No. How could such a pretty room be scary?”
“I know we talked about you being my little girl but I wasn’t sure how much you understood about that. This room is for the little girls and little boys we play with. So everything in here is made for grown-ups who like to be little. Some people think that’s strange or frightening.”
“I love it.”
Master would hate it, everything so bright and cheerful and colorful and childish. But it felt like home to her. Like something she’d been missing even though she hadn’t known it was something she could have.
“I’m so glad,” Hudson said before pressing a kiss to her cheek. “When you’re better you can play in here as much as you want, and you can take naps in the crib. And we can go shopping for toys and games and books just for you.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she said, her cheeks getting hot. “This is more than enough. I’m sure everything I could ever want is right here.”
“You’re the cutest, Cosy. And so sweet. It will make me very happy to give you presents that you love.”