“Can I tell you something about our wedding night?”
She took a long time to answer. Fabric rustled, and I imagined her shifting around in bed. I fucking longed to be there with her. “Yes. I’d like to hear about that night.”
“You said you don’t really remember why we decided to get married. It started as a joke—what if youcouldhave a do-over? But then…I don’t know, it got more serious. A do-over for you. Getting it right this time. And for me, I’d have someone steady by my side—a woman who’d be a dick to me when I deserved it, who’d challenge me to keep being real. I was drunk, but I took it seriously, Mic. I still do.”
“I haven’t been by your side,” she said.
“And I haven’t been by yours. Not when I should have been. You know what we promised each other?”
“What?”
“To be each other’s most important person.”
She sucked in a breath. “Well, that’s...kind of huge.”
“Yeah, I agree. And I haven’t been living up to it. Do you remember when I told you I’ve gotten so engrossed in all the bullshit, I don’t know my way out?”
“I remember that. It’s understandable, but I already had a husband who bought into his own hype, and I don’t want to repeat it.”
Fear lodged in my throat. How long would she play this game before she threw divorce papers at me again? I didn’t know if I had it in me to force her to stay if she really wanted to go. Not now, with the baby...no. I wouldn’t cause Michaela any more stress. This was all on me.
“I’ve gotten so used to the worship, Mic. You don’t do that, which has thrown me a few times. But I also realized I haven’t been keeping good on my promise. I expected you to stop your world for me, but I didn’t give you the same. I expected you to show up at my concert and be one ofthem, but that’s not what I want from you.”
“What do you want from me, Moses?” Her voice was a whisper, and she sounded farther away than ever. We were running in opposite directions, and I couldn’t figure out how to turn this thing around.
“I want you. I want to be your most important person, and I want to show you you’re mine. I’m asking for a chance when you get back.”
“After we find out the ultrasound results?”
“No.” I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “No matter what. I want a chance to be your husband, baby or not. I know it doesn’t make sense, and it seems crazy, but I’m sure.”
She let out a shuddering breath. “I just don’t get how you can be so sure. The night in Vegas was everything, but we’ve had nothing but bumps since then.”
“I don’t see it that way. I see us kissing in that bathroom even when we were both pissed as hell. I see you falling asleep in my ugly chair. Floating in your brother’s pool. Hugging in that empty dressing room. Being your burrow in Miami. Blowing up each other’s phones with texts and calls. You’ve got me, Mic. I’m yours, if you’ll have me. I know I’m not the greatest bet, but I’m hoping you’ll take it anyway.”
There was another long pause, and I listened to her breathe. “I guess there’s something to be said for the optimism of youth.”
I groaned in frustration. “Come on.”
“I didn’t mean it as an insult. If anything, I’mtoopessimistic. I envy how sure you’re able to be. I’m not that way, Mo. My doubts are so big, they need their own room.”
“Good thing I’ve got a few extras.”
She laughed softly. “I don’t know. Can we just talk for a while? About anything other than us?”
I knew I wouldn’t be getting any answers tonight, but the fact that she was willing to stay on the phone and potentially have a normal conversation was finally a step in the right direction.
“So…uh, there’s an imprint of Murray on the nursery wall.”
She snorted. “What the hell? I’m going to need a lot more information.”
“You see, it all started when Yael told him he couldn’t do a backflip.”
“Ah, that’s the way most good stories begin.”
“Pretty much every story involving Murray does.” Getting comfortable, I laid back on the thick carpeting, looking up at the white ceiling. “The whole band was over, paint everywhere—not really the best time to be flipping in any direction.”
“Awww, everyone helped paint?”