“There’s nothing about you that’s unlovable.Nothing.Fuck Saul Goodman for ever letting you believe that.”
My eyes were burning again. It hit me like a sledgehammer that this was real. Adam and I were permanent. No other shoe was going to drop. We’d already dropped them all. He loved me. He wasn’t going to stop loving me.
“You are so good to me, and you love me exactly how I need,” I told him.
He swiped my wet cheek. “Then why are you crying? You know I can’t stand when you cry.”
“It’s all hitting me at once. I can breathe with you, Adam. Things might go wrong, butwewon’t. We worked for this, built a sturdy foundation, made something beautiful and solid.” I choked out a sob. “I’m relieved we’re here. Relieved and really, really happy.”
He buried his face in my hair, exhaling a long, hot breath. “Fuck, you’re gonna make me cry too. The confidence you have in us is exactly what I need. Did you know that was what I needed to hear?”
I held him close, his tears rolling down my shoulder. I understood what he meant when he’d said he couldn’t stand me crying. It killed me that he was now.
“I needed to say it, so it makes sense you needed to hear it. I really love you, you know? Whatever you were before or to other people, you’re not that to me. You’ll never be the screwup or the black sheep with me. You’re the man I love and my best friend.”
“I’ll love you ’til we’re ghosts, baby.”
He raised his head, grinning at me, and I kissed away his tears.
The slate was clean. I wouldn’t run, and Adam wouldn’t hide. The past was something we’d learned from, but it was staying in the past. What happened outside of us might rock us, but I was finished doubting us.
He has my heart and soul for sure.