“How much later?” Luke asked.
She lifted her hands. “I have no idea, Luke.”
He didn’t respond, and crazily enough, that hurt her. It was crazy that it hurt her because this was her choice. She was being the bigger person, the rational adult.
Standing, he gave her one more tortured look, then walked toward the front entry and the stairs. He paused and looked over his shoulder. “If you want to grab your stuff, I can send you home on my plane. My pilot was heading to Denver to pick up my lawyer anyway.”
Mar stood, feeling shaky, and wondered if he was content to push her away. That wasn’t right, though. He needed to reconnect with his daughter. He was focusing where he should. “Does he have time? I’d rather have you get your lawyer here. I can take a commercial flight.”
Luke shook his head and gave her a very unconvincing smile. “He’ll have time. It’s only eight a.m., and each flight is short.”
“Thank you. I’ll hurry.”
He stared longingly at her for a few beats. Mar could hardly catch a breath, and it was all she could do to not rush to him. He finally nodded and then walked out of her room. She heard his footsteps retreating up the stairs moments later.
Mar bit down on her lip. She had no clue why, but she wanted him to fight for her, beg her to stay with him, and then she could stay by his side and hold his hand through this process. No. She didn’t need him as much as his daughter needed him. She’d only be a distraction, and she might mess things up with her fiery temperament.
She walked slowly upstairs and packed her suitcase. Within minutes, they were loaded in the car and driving to the nearby airport. She had so many questions but didn’t know if he had the answers. His mind seemed to be in another place too, and she didn’t blame him. She couldn’t imagine how it would be to find out you had a child that you’d never met.
They pulled into the airport, and he got her suitcase. He walked her to his plane and handed the suitcase off to the pilot, shaking the man’s hand. “Thank you,” Luke said.
“Of course, sir. Happy to help.” He nodded to Mar. “I’ll be ready when you are, ma’am.”
“Thanks.”
The pilot pulled down the steps to the plane and walked in.
Mar turned to Luke. He looked so distraught that she pushed aside her own need for reassurance and love, her worries if he still wanted her, and focused on comforting him. Wrapping her arms around him, she prayed for him to find peace, and that if Lacey was his daughter, he would know how to navigate a relationship with her.
Luke buried his head in her hair and murmured, “I don’t want to let you go.”
Mar’s heart leapt. He was in a mess, but he didn’t want to let her go. So at least she had that. Their connection was unreal but tenuous. If she left his side, she feared he’d forget all about her. He probably should, if it would help him focus on his daughter. Now was not the time for him to worry about their developing relationship. She knew she should run from him right now so she didn’t reveal how needy and uncertain she was. She could only pray that someday soon it would all work out.
She pulled back and gave him a brave smile. “It’s all going to be great. Figure out things with Tracey and Lacey. I’m not going anywhere.” Why did the words all feel like lies? She “wasn’t going anywhere”? She was deserting him so he didn’t have to deal with her emotional baggage on top of everything else.
He stared down at her. “But you are. Flying out of my life and back to your busy world. You’ll probably forget all about me.”
She shook her head, tears pricking at her eyes. He’d admitted to exactly what she was fearing. “Never,” she said fiercely. Grabbing his shoulders, she used them to leverage herself, and he obliged her by lifting her off her feet and bowing his head to hers. He kissed her long and hard.
When he released her, they were both gasping for air. Sadly, though the kiss had been amazing, she didn’t feel reassured. It felt like a farewell kiss, not a see-you-soon promise.
Mar forced herself to pull from his embrace. “I’d better go so your lawyer can get here.” She was proud of how level her voice sounded.
He nodded. His blue eyes were stormy, but that was probably because of his worries over his daughter. “I’ll come to you as soon as I figure all of this out.”
“Okay.” She blew him a kiss and hurried onto the plane. For some reason, as the door of the plane slid shut, it felt like she was being sealed in a tomb that Luke wouldn’t be able to reopen. She buckled up in the comfortable leather seat and brushed tears away angrily. Luke had promised he’d come for her, but it felt like she’d never see him again. Dang her stupid insecurities. If only she could conquer them and trust that Luke would never desert her.