Chapter Twelve
Mar paced the suite she was staying in. She wanted to go push that Tracey lady away and hold on to Luke so tightly that no one would ever be able to pull him free. He wouldn’t be able to go anywhere, wouldn’t leave her. Yet she’d been where that little girl was; the people who should’ve loved her had gone away. If that little girl was really Luke’s daughter, she deserved a father like Luke to love, teach, and protect her. She deserved all the things that Mar’s childhood had lacked.
Mar wished she could see what was happening on that front porch, and she wished her insecurities and fiery personality weren’t making her react so selfishly. She couldn’t imagine what that little girl’s life had been like without Luke, and she couldn’t imagine what Luke was going through right now. If only she could help him through this. She always reacted too intensely, and she’d ruined many a relationship because of it. Right now, she needed to calm down and give Luke space. She needed to take the higher ground. She needed to leave, to give him the time to figure this out without their developing relationship and Mar’s own issues of abandonment and lack of love influencing him.
Her phone rang, and she snatched the opportunity to be distracted. Glancing at the screen, she saw that it was her assistant, Cara. “Everything okay?” Mar asked.
“Um … Can you get back soon?”
“What’s wrong?”
“The Macy’s rep is in California this week, and she insists on a meeting with you in the morning to discuss going from the limited twelve-store distribution and partial products online to being in every one of their stores and every fragrance featured online.”
“Yes!” Mar punched a fist in the air. “Of course I’ll be there. I’ll fly back tonight.”
“Thank you.”
“Mar?” Luke called through the closed door.
“I’ve got to go.” Mar hung up, dropped her phone in her purse, and hurried to the door. Luke needed to focus on his daughter and have space to figure things out, and now her company needed her. This was probably divine intervention so she didn’t ruin their relationship by being too opinionated and demanding too much of him while he was in the midst of a trial.
She flung the door wide, took one look at Luke’s distraught face, and crossed the distance. She wrapped her arms tightly around his back.
Luke tucked her in to his chest and held her. After half a minute, he drew back. “Thank you. I needed that.”
She gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile. Neither of them said anything as they walked down the steps to the great room to the closest couch and settled down next to each other. Mar turned to him, tucking her legs underneath her. “Want to talk about it?”
Luke’s blue eyes were cloudy. He shrugged. “I don’t even know what to say. If Lacey is mine, Tracey stole over nine years from me.”
“If?” she asked. So he wasn’t certain. “Do you have doubts?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what to think. I’m supposed to meet with her lawyer at four and figure out child support and visitation. The man who raised Lacey is in prison for trying to kill a guy and was a ‘yeller.’” He arched an eyebrow. “So I definitely want to keep her away from him. I want to protect her, be with her, raise her up right, but this is all so fast and nuts and I’m not really sure what to think.”
“I bet.”
“What do you think?” he asked.
“Me?” She leaned back. “I don’t know that my opinion should factor into this.”
His brow wrinkled. “Of course it does. I mean, if you want a relationship with me, it does.”
Mar swallowed and looked out the windows at the beautiful greenery outside, praying for direction. “I’m interested in a relationship with you, Luke. Of course I am.” She swung back to face him.
He reached out for her, his blue eyes soft. Mar leaned back and held up her hands. She hated that she’d caused the disappointment and frustration now on his face, but if he touched her, she’d beg him to never let her go, and right now she needed to be strong and let him go. If Lacey’s stepdad was violent, the little girl needed Luke even more than Mar had thought. She remembered how it felt to be terrified of the authority figure in her life.
“You need to figure things out with your daughter first,” she said. “Then we can see what might be between us.”
Luke didn’t seem to like her answer. His lips pursed and his eyes narrowed.
“Look. You know my history. If I could’ve had a father like you, it would’ve changed everything. That beautiful little girl needs to come first right now, and I totally get that.”
He studied her, then nodded. “Of course I want to put Lacey first. She deserves that after nine years.” He looked torn. “I’ll go to that meeting this afternoon and see what happens. But what about you? Will you wait here?”
She bit at her lip. He looked so hopeful, and it about killed her to stay calm and detached. She wanted to fling herself against him and show him how fiery and passionate she could be, but that sweet child had to be his priority. Mar couldn’t interfere. “I think this came at a really good time. I actually have a huge meeting first thing tomorrow morning I need to get back for. Would you mind taking me to the airport, and I’ll catch a flight back?” She was amazed at how calm and unemotional her words were; inside, she wanted to cry at the thought of being apart from him, especially when he was going through something rough. Was she making the wrong decision? Was she going to ruin yet another relationship, the most important one she’d ever been in?
He flinched back. “Oh … okay.”
“Sorry.” She hated it, but rationally, she knew that this was the perfect opportunity to take a break. She’d be lonely without him, but who was she to come between him and his daughter? “I think it’s probably good, though. You can figure out things with Tracey and Lacey, and then later we can figure out things with us.”