Jacyn turned to Nathanael, her voice resonating with schoolteacher-like authority. “Nathanael, please tell your wife that Auntie Jacyn will take good care of her baby while she goes for a short walk. And please accompany her. It’s a nice sunny day and I wouldn’t want either of you to collapse from lack of exposure to sunshine and fresh air.”
He smiled at that. This woman was nothing if not direct. But she was right. Shaundra needed to get out for her own sanity, if nothing else. With Alex standing next to him, nodding gravely in agreement, Nathanael said, “She’s right, Shaundra. I know that everything inside of you says you want to stay, but you’re stressed and exhausted, and you do need to see the sun.”
“But—”
Nathanael stepped toward her and held out his arm, offering her to take it. He was banking on the presence of her friends that she wouldn’t smack him away like the last time he had tried to touch her. “You’re no good to him if you collapse, you know. Even the best mom in the world needs a break.” He kept his voice soothing, coaxing.
He could see the weariness battling with loyalty on her face. Eventually, she looked away, talking to Jacyn rather than him. “Thanks, Jay. I think I really will.”
He felt gratitude overwhelm him. It was such a small thing, what their friends were offering to do, but to them it would mean the whole world. He turned and gave Alex a fist-bump. “Thanks, brother.”
“Pas problème.”Alex gave him an encouraging smile.
Nathanael let his hand drop to his side, as it was evident that Shaundra was declining his offer to take his arm, but she did fall into step with him as they walked out or the room. He marveled at the fact that this was the first time Shaundra had crossed the threshold of the room since they’d walked in on that awful evening.
She didn’t want to talk, so he didn’t force her. The grounds of the small hospital were well taken care of, with meandering stone paths and a few benches overlooking a tiny koi pond, but after walking through it twice, they almost unconsciously headed out the gates and into the streets of Aix.
Nathanael marveled at the normalcy all around them. People walking to and fro, going about their business. Taxis, buses and private cars teeming in the streets, scooters and motorbikes. Weird how even in the midst of a private tragedy, life went on.
He spotted an ice cream vendor and, without asking, ordered two small cones. Shaundra liked chocolate, and had a soft spot for Nutella, while he favored plain, boring, unembellished vanilla. She used to taunt him about it, that she’d have expected a man of the world like him to be more adventurous. “I’d always figured you for something weird, like ginger pineapple,” she would tell him.
To which he often retorted, “Maybe, but vanilla is the most popular flavor in the world, so I’m in good company.”
He half expected her to decline, forcing him to toss the ice cream cone into a trash can, but to his surprise, she took it from his hands and solemnly and silently licked it until it was all gone.
And then, to his shock, she slid her hand into the crook of his arm, not even looking at him. He decided that the safest course of action was to say nothing.
They walked past the oddest building, a red and white pagoda that looked so out of character with the staid buildings on the street. Paper lanterns hung from the ceilings of the wrap-around wooden porch, and above the engraved brass double doors were words written in Japanese and French:Cherry Blossom Hotel.
Nathanael chuckled to himself. It was clear that this was not one of those luxury tourist hotels. Rather, it was what the Japanese called a love hotel, the kind you paid for by the hour, rather than the night. They were plentiful in Tokyo and Nagasaki, both of which he’d visited frequently while on business, but had never expected to see one here—
“Take me inside.”
He turned to face Shaundra. “Pardon?” he responded in surprise. “You want to go inthere?”
Then he wanted to kick himself, because she flushed in embarrassment. “It’s nothing. Forget I said—”
He stopped and came around to face her, touching her lightly on her cheek. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded, Shaundra. I just wanted to know if I’d heard you correctly.”
She was still flushing madly, but in her face there was mutinous resolve, too. “I’m exhausted, Nathanael. I’m so anxious, so stressed that there’s a gnawing in my belly that I can’t get rid of. I need…” She paused, sighed, started again. “I need to relax. I need you to make me forget. Make me feel good… if only for a short time.”
Nathanael stared down at her gravely, wondering how to respond. She was wrought by anguish. He knew that. Hope and despair were her daily companions, and would be as long as their son was under the evil command of his illness. So maybe she was in a vulnerable place. If he said yes, if he agreed to what she was asking of him, would that be taking advantage of her?
Another voice responded:This is your wife. You pledged to be with her through good times and bad. Your bodies belong to each other, and with consent, you’re free to touch and hold.
He made up his mind, but was afraid to say anything that might spook her or make her change her mind. He was too scared to put his stupid foot in his stupid mouth and kill this idea before anything could get started.
He held out his hand, which to his delight she took. She walked next to him as they entered, and three minutes later the receptionist handed him an access card and pointed him to the elevators.
As they entered the room, the lights came on automatically. A soft blend of turquoise and lavender recessed LED lights that made the walls glow. He’d gathered that the rooms in the hotel were individually themed, but rather than get into a long, pointless debate over whether they wanted the underwater mermaid package or the spaceflight to Mars package, he’d just told the woman, who maintained a professional poker face the whole time, that he’d take the classiest room they had.
So here they were, in a room with baby blue walls, dominated by a large round bed upon which was placed a basket full of love oils, condoms and assorted pleasure toys.
Her eyes searched his, and in response he kissed her, very softly, very lightly. He had observed her endless sacrifices all week, and knew that she needed now more than ever to be able to rest her mind awhile. This would not be for him, but for her.
She kissed him back, hesitantly at first, and then more ardently, her entire body softening in his arms as she let herself be vulnerable.
Deftly, without lifting his lips from hers, he unbuttoned her blouse, allowing his hands to come up and cup her full, round breasts. He found her new shape delightful. Womanly and soft.