“Of course not, I’m just ashamed of how I acted, I’m so sorry Con.” The tears fell unbidden, Connor had me in a tight hug in minutes with assurances that it was ok he understood. I wish I did. If I ever saw their father again, I wouldn’t be responsible for what I said to him.
I pulled away from him. “So?” I wiped my eyes, “Since this is already awkward. You may as well tell me about Corey.”
Connor gulped and stepped away from me, he rubbed the back of his neck. It was quite funny to watch him squirm for a little bit.
“You have to understand Ari, you left. I mean, hell you’d already finished us before you and Colton...whatever, so I went with Theo to Cali for a while and we blew off steam. Ricky joined us.” His grin was only partly sheepish, I can only imagine the damage the three of them did in California. Connor grinned at me even more when he saw me sigh with amusement.
“I’m very,verypleased I do not have to hear the detail of these stories.” I laughed.
“Corey was in Santa Barbara when we were there, and we hit it off, she told me she was coming here for school. At the time we were all planning to be at Berkley. We exchanged numbers and then Colton sent Matt to come and get us. You know, Marshall Matt.” He rolled his eyes. I giggled. “When we got back Cole told us he was moving schools to come to CU, because dad needs to focus on the Denver office. We made arrangements to move too. Just so happened it was the same school as Corey. I texted her and that was that.” His shrug was almost apologetic. He was nervous again, I can imagine why. I mean seriously if I thought about it, he kinda moved on pretty quick. However, it suited me that he found someone else and she seemed nice, plus she was gorgeous. What guy wouldn’t have fallen for her?
“I’m pleased you found someone Con, I hope it all works out for you.”
“Really Ari? I mean you’re definitely ok with this?” I walked over to him and took his hand.
“Connor, I think the time apart made me realise even more that whatever our relationship had been, we are really just better being friends. I mean I willalwayslove you. You’re my first kiss after all, but you and me as a couple – I think we tried and it worked for a while, but it had ran its course. I just didn’t realise how much until we were apart. Know what I mean?” I looked into his eyes hoping for a positive reaction. I was most definitelynotcomparing his light eye colour to anyone else in his families. No sir. Not me. Definitely not.
Connor squeezed my hand. He looked away, a slightly bitter smile on his face. “Yeah, Theo and I talked it out. He said the reason I was being such an idiot was because I knew, deep down that we’d come to the end. He said I was holding ontootight rather than accepting it was time to let you go.”
“Theo said that?” High five to Theo, it took me months to figure that out, I thought ruefully – maybe I needed to talk to Theo too.
“Yeah,” Connor continued, “Apparently they all knew. Only one that didn’t get the memo was me.”
“Hey, I didn’t know really either – don’t beat yourself up...or anyone else!” I sneaked a peek at him and he laughed.
“Still Cole shouldn’t have taken advantage of you, even if you were offering it,” he looked away, jaw tense. I had no words of defence for either of our actions, thankfully I didn’t have to answer.
Just then his phone buzzed and he dug it out of his pocket. His smile faded somewhat as he looked at it. “It’s Cole. I’m supposed to be meeting him later and he’s checking up on me.” His grin was contagious as he rolled his eyes. “Typical Cole, never trusts the little brother to be on time.”
“That’s because you arealwayslate!” I exclaimed as I watched him. Connor looked at me and laughed again.
“Yeah yeah says little miss punctual! Right I gotta go, see my bro. So, are we good Lil Bit?” The uncertainty was back, the vulnerability that he always tried to hide from others.
Were we? I mean he had moved on. He had someone else, he looked happy. I nodded, we could be friends. I realised I really wanted to be friends, Theo and Matt were so amazing coming back into my life and I realised then that I needed Connor too. I was greedy really. I’d walked away from them, but I knew I wouldn’t manage to walk away again.
“We’re good Connor. I hope we can be friends?” Now it was my time to be uncertain. His smile was wicked.
“Best friends, no one knows me better, not even Cole.” We walked to the front door and he pulled me into a hug again. “I have to tell him though Ari, he can’t be kept in the dark about this.” Connor must have felt me stiffen. “I know I said I wouldn’t, but it’ll be fine. I’ll explain it all to him. He’s a good guy, he’ll understand.”
“Connor, I really...”
“Shhhh,” he cut me off. “Trust me, he’s my brother and Iknowhim. It’ll be fine. Just try not to jump him again ok!” I swatted at him for his cheek, but he laughed and ducked and was out the door. When he was out of reach, he turned back.
“Please Ari? It’s Colton.”
Yes. ItwasColton. I felt the breath I had been holding leave me as I sighed with resignation. I nodded once. Connor darted forward, kissed my cheek and then was off down the stairs yelling he’d see me soon. I closed the door and leaned against it.
Well, shit was about to get real interesting.
I spent the rest of the day on my balcony, enjoying the late autumn sunshine for a change and getting hungrier and hungrier but I was just so relaxed. When my stomach rumbled so loudly it made me jump, I decided I better make some food.
I had been glancing at my phone every ten minutes after Connor left. Then when I decided that was ridiculous, I had then put the phone in the drawer in my bedroom. That had lasted thirty minutes before I was fishing it out again. Now I was trying to convince myself that all was well. Whilst I was getting my food out of the oven, there was a knock at my front door. I yelped out in mixed terror and trepidation. My feet were slow as I walked to the door, I opened it slowly and almost fainted with relief when I saw Theo.
“Hey Lil Bit, need to crash,” he said as he walked in and headed to the living room.Say what now?I followed Theo into my living room to find him already stretched out on my couch.
“What’s going on?” I asked nervously.
“Colton’s got me running all over the place. Just saw Con a little while ago, he told me on the quiet what was about to go down. They’re heading out to some thing for their dad tonight. I am not waiting for the rest of the night forthatconversation. I filled in Matt and then I bailed.” His arm was over his eyes as he spoke, then he raised it and peered at me. “Is that lasagne I smell?”