I shook my head, that had been my last one for the day, well week really, it was Friday. “Do you still run?” I asked.
“Yeah but not here, I don’t have the discipline to keep at it in college. It was fun in high school, but I’m not the dedicated athlete anymore. Plus, I wouldn’t be allowed to party as much.” He winked at me as he said the last bit. “I just run for fun now.”
I shivered, run for fun didn’t sound like fun to meat all.
I laughed at my internal thoughts and Connor’s cheeky wink. He knew exactly what my reaction was, it was so easy and natural with Connor. Like the old days before it all went weird and scary.
“I wanted to talk to you.” He started, I didn’t tell him I gathered that as he was waiting outside my class, a class I had no idea how he knew I was in by the way. How had he gotten my class schedule? Hang on, that was easy, he was a Dawson, he would have charmed it out of someone. I felt myself rolling my eyes and Connor must have seen me as he gave a short laugh.
“Yes, I know, I was outside your class. You guessed this. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you, about Cole and...also about Corey.” He thrust his hands in his pocket, this was Connor’s, I’m uncomfortable tell.
“Where do you want to talk?” I asked quietly. I stopped and looked up at him.
“Your place? Theo said you live off campus. Cole’s back, I don’t want to run into him before I get through this.” He was looking about the halls, not for Colton I knew that. He was unsure of my response, so he was nervous.
Did I want Connor to know where I lived, that was silly, he would never abuse that trust. Although he may tell Colton and I definitely didn’t want to open the door to him anytime soon. The others had been so gracious and forgiving, but Colton Dawson was steel and he would not let me off with a hug and an assurance they were there for me. He would be furious I had left. Furious I had never called and furious I knew he was here and so did his friends. I couldn’t even begin to think of the reaction when he found out the guys had been to my home and if one of them was Connor…I don’t know if I could be responsible for that fallout.
“I won’t tell him.” Connor said. Yeah, still knew me very well.
“Promise? I can’t be the reason you fall out, not again.” I looked at my sneakers. Connor’s finger under my chin, raised my face to look at him.
“Promise Lil Bit.” He looked so earnest, so,Connor. How could I say no to him? He deserved me to hear him out after all. I had done a horrid thing and then I had run away, like a coward.
“C’mon then, it’s about a fifty-minute walk.” Connor nodded and followed me outside, but he steered me to the parking lot behind my building. I looked at the big shiny Toyota 4Runner, they were the SUV of choice for the boys. Of course, I thought ruefully, Connor would be able to find a space in a city that prided itself on its bus system and greener travel.
We drove in silence, it took only minutes and to be honest if I was more green aware, I would have said no, however, I was a bundle of nerves. I was sitting in the car with my ex who had caught me making out with his brother at my mother’s funeral, who I had run away from, not seen in almost a year and was now driving to my home to talkthe talkand discuss his new...girlfriend? Yeah, sorry ozone, I’m so not thinking about you overly much at the moment.
We parked up not far from my apartment. I overlooked an open space square, so parking was limited. I had a designated space round the back of my building, but I liked to walk in to the campus in the morning. My car was sitting round the back in the shade. My flat was above a small hardware shop, the stairs to the apartment were off the square and set back down a small alleyway, not creepy or anything, but I saw Connor assess it as we walked down. I made a mental note to be ready to defend my living accommodation if needed.
Once we were inside and he was settled on my small couch, I offered refreshments, he declined. It had become all very tense.
Connor must have thought so too as he suddenly laughed. “Jesus Ari, this isus. We shouldn’t be awkward, stop hovering, sit down, let’s talk like we used to.”
I smiled, easier said than done really, but I sat in the seat and tried very hard to relax.
“Right, so I’m going to talk. I’m just going to lay it out and then we can discuss later?” Connor started. I nodded. Someone had come prepared with a plan.
“I know, the whole situation with you and Colton isn’t ideal. Cole explained it all and I guess I can understand why you did what you did. I mean, I was out of control possessive or whatever, and I scared you and then that stupid bitch killed herself.” He groaned. “I mean seriously, you were going through alot.” He raked his hand threw his hair and I waited for him to continue. “Yeah, you were leaning on Cole more, needing his support because of what I had done, and I get that. Your emotions were all over the place, you were probably in some form of grieving and stressed out. It makes sense you made a move on Cole.”
I’d been nodding along with him. Yeah, I guess he was maybe right.Wait, what?My eyes snapped to Connor. He reached out and squeezed my hand in sympathy.What did he say?
Connor continued on, oblivious to the fact I had just frozen.
“It’s ok, I know you. You wouldn’t have done it if you weren’t out of your mind, its ok, and Cole well c’mon Ari, he’s aguy. Someone like you makes a move on him and of course he is going to go with it. Wasn’t thinking with the head on his shoulders if you know what I mean?”
Right, that’s enough.I was up out of my seat in no time. Connor sat back, he looked surprised.
“Back up one moment Con. What are you saying? I jumped Cole?” I think I may have shrieked. I’d never shrieked before, so it was hard to comment, but if the high-pitched squawk I had just uttered could be described as a shriek? Then yeah, I shrieked.
Connor nodded. “You don’t need to be embarrassed. You were upset, Cole’s a really good-looking guy, it makes sense and if you were in need...” he trailed off. I think he had realised maybe there was something wrong.Wait, was it my pacing that gave it away! Ugh.
“You said Coltonexplainedthis to you? This is what he said? That I jumped him?” I don’t think I have ever been this angry.Thiswas how he explained it to his brother? Not thathehad kissed me, not that he had initiated what happened. No. He said it was me, it was all me. Not that he had me pinned against a wall whilst he devoured me...ok I didn’t needthesememories right now.God am I blushing?I need to cool down right now.Wait is Connor still talking, crap what is he saying, need to tune in Elle!
“Well when I finally let him talk to me that is.” Connor grumbled. “Was a few days after, I didn’t even know you were gone to be honest. I was out of the house and at the cabin before dad came and got me. Colton was miserable. Dad explained it, said Cole told him and when I came home. Dad made me sit down and told Colton to tell me himself.” Connor stood. “Is that not what happened Ari?” His look was sharp, assessing. Crap he looks just like his brother when he looks like that, when did he learn that trick, I wonder?
I turned away. I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t let him see me. Hisfatherexplained it to him. Hisfathertold Colton to tell his brother what had happened between a girl who had ran away and a man who was the idol of his little brother. Of course, that’s what Jake Dawson would say. Of course, he would blame me. It was the easiest and most obvious answer.Jake Dawson is a dick.There I said it.
“Ari, is that not what happened? Was there,” he hesitated, “was there something going on between you and Cole?” His whole heart was in that question. I closed my eyes, I had done enough. I turned back to him.