"Do you get off at 10 most nights? I can walk you back if you want."
"Oh, no, that's okay." Again, he was trying to help me five years too late. But this time when he offered, it warmed my heart instead of making my blood boil. He hadn't really changed. He was still the same sweet boy. I just wanted to know why he had stopped caring about me.
He smoothed Neosporin on the scratches and placed a Band-Aid on top of them. "Well, if this is when you get off, it's about the time I head for the observatory anyway. I don't mind walking you home while I'm already out."
For the first time, I noticed that there was a telescope sticking out of his backpack on the floor. "I didn't realize there was an observatory near here."
"Yeah. It's above Grenada Hall."
"Are you an astronomy major?"
He laughed.
It made my heart race.
"No, I wish," he said. "My dad didn't exactly approve of that idea. But I do try to take one astronomy class every semester." He lifted up my other hand and slowly placed a matching Band-Aid on the heel of my palm. He didn't drop my hand when he was done. He just let it rest in his.
"Is your class right now?" I didn't want him to let go of my hand. I wanted him to fix me like he had fixed my cuts. It wasn't a secret that I was broken. I could tell that he saw it. Why else would he be taking care of me right now?
"No, it only meets once a week, but I still like to go to the observatory most nights. Honestly, I prefer to look at the stars alone anyway."
That's not true. You liked to look at the stars with me. I nodded my head.
He slowly let go of my hand. "Actually, I was hoping to run into you. I got something for you." He stood up and grabbed his backpack.
He got something for me. For just a moment, it was like we were back in his tree house again. That night that he had given me the Sagitta keychain, I could have sworn it was the best night of my life. That moment was short lived, though.
He handed me a brochure. I looked down at the picture of the support group. I didn't need to open it up to know that it was for abuse victims. The quotes on the front made that perfectly clear. "I learned that I wasn't to blame." "I learned to open up." "I learned to fight back."
It definitely wasn't a Sagi
tta keychain kind of present. I looked up at him.
"If you don't want to talk to me about it, you probably should talk to someone." There was sympathy in his eyes.
I hated that look. I wanted to snap at him again and tell him it wasn't his business. But there was something else in his eyes that made me bite my tongue. It wasn't just sympathy. It looked like he honestly cared. I didn't know what to say. So I didn't say anything at all. I just stared at him and silently willed him to tell me why he had stopped writing. I silently begged him to tell me why he had broken my heart.
"And the offer stands if you change your mind," he said, not seeing my silent pleas. "To talk or to walk you home. Or both." He smiled out of the corner of his mouth.
For some reason, I wanted to take him up on his offer. I wanted to go back in time to when we were best friends. But I had to keep my distance. I needed to be avoiding him, not asking him to walk me home. I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "Thank you for offering, but I'm really okay."
He nodded. "I should probably get going."
It took me a second to realize I was blocking his path to the door. "Right." I turned around and walked back into the hall.
"You're sure you're okay?" He lightly touched the back of my hand.
I swallowed hard and nodded.
"Have a good night, Sadie."
I just stood awkwardly in the hallway until he disappeared down the stairs. I was terrified to face this city on my own. But that didn't mean Miles was the one I should be facing it with. I could still try to fix things with Eli. And I had Kins. Neither one of them knew the real me, though. No one knew me as well as Miles. I shook my head. He didn't know me anymore. I wasn't even sure I knew myself.
Chapter 26
Friday
"I can't wait until the game tonight," Kins said as we sat down in the front of the room. She had stopped protesting about our seating arrangement after our second sociology class. I was pretty sure she actually loved it. The class was interesting and there were no distractions in the front row.