That made my stomach feel queasy. Could I trust Eli not to tell anyone about my past? Would he tell Patrick who would tell Kins? Kins was great, but she didn't exactly have a great grasp on keeping her mouth shut. "Maybe." I switched off my computer screen. "I should probably get to class. I'll see you tonight."
"Later, love bird."
Chapter 25
Thursday
I stood outside the Corner Diner until 10 o'clock. There was no reason why I should have waited so long. Eli had never been even a minute late to meet me. I pulled out my phone for what seemed like the millionth time. No text. No missed calls. He had stood me up.
The longer I stood there, the less surprised I was. Of course he stood me up. Despite how much I liked him, I had pushed him away by not telling him the truth. It still stung, though. Even more so because he knew someone had hurt me. Why did he want to hurt me too? He had looked me in the eye and promised that he wouldn't.
I turned my head and swallowed hard. The longer I stood here, the more nervous I got. No matter how many times I told myself no one was watching me, I couldn't shake the feeling. I felt paralyzed by the thought of walking through the city alone. My feet seemed frozen, firmly planted, waiting, hoping that Eli would magically appear. He made the eerie feeling go away. How was I supposed to face this city without him? I was terrified all the time when he wasn't by my side.
It made me feel ridiculous, being scared to walk home alone. I stared down the street. It wasn't empty or anything, there were still people walking around. Everything just seemed more ominous at night. I'd be fine, though. I just needed to get safely back to my dorm before it got any later.
After one last hopeful glance at my phone, I started walking down the sidewalk back toward my dorm. I knew that continuously glancing over my shoulder and looking spooked made me an easy target. I should have been walking with my head held high. But I couldn't stop. I picked up my pace. A chill ran down my spine. I glanced over my shoulder again. Someone ducked into an alleyway.
Oh, God. I wasn't wrong. Someone was following me. My heart leapt into my throat. I started running as fast as I could. He's here. I ran across the street without waiting for the crosswalk to signal that it was time. A taxi beeped at me and tires screeched. Horns honked. But I kept running. He found me. I tripped on an uneven patch of the walkway and fell. My palms slid across the rough cement, biting at my skin.
"Ma'am are you okay?" A man said from behind me. "Let me help you up."
No! Stay away!
He put his hand down in front of my face.
I shrunk away from him. Don't touch me. My voice didn't seem to work. I got to my feet and ran from him. I ran as fast as I could without looking back. I threw open the door to my dorm, sprinted up the stairs, and burst through the door to my floor. And I ran straight into someone.
Miles. I didn't even have to look up to know that it was his arms that I had fallen into. Because I didn't even flinch when his hands caught me. His touch didn't burn my skin. It comforted me. It felt like home. I pictured holding his hand for the first time. I pictured falling into the grass with him and laughing. I wanted his arms to stay wrapped protectively around me. I wanted him to be my rock again.
"Whoa, are you okay?" Miles said.
But he didn't remember any of that. He just thought I was some random weird girl on his floor. I quickly stepped away from his hands, no matter how much I didn't want to. It was easier to stay away from him if I held on to the anger. And I needed to stay away. No. I'm not okay. I haven't been okay since you stopped writing me back. "I'm fine." I wrapped my arms around myself. My body wanted to betray me. It wanted his hands back on my waist. It wanted to keep feeling that overwhelming sense of home.
He didn't look like he believed me at all. "You're bleeding." He lightly touched my wrist.
I looked down. The heels of my palms were scraped and bloody. "I'm okay." My voice sounded small.
"Come with me." He gently put his hand on my elbow and guided me down the hall.
I couldn't stop myself from following him. The fear that had been engulfing me was fading the longer his hands were on me. He steadied my heartbeat. He made my breath come easier. At the same time, he made my stomach twist into knots. It was the same feeling I used to have before I'd sneak over to his tree house at night.
He opened up the door to his room.
It was like I was being invited into his tree house for the first time. It didn't even feel real. Every part of this felt like I had been transported into the past. I looked around his room again and my eyes landed on the poster of the stars. I was dreaming. That's what this was. I was dreaming about the boy that I dreamed of every night when I was little. And that was a lie. I had never stopped dreaming about him. The pendant felt heavy on my chest. I told myself it was to remember that night, but it was to remember him.
His fingers on my wrist brought me back to reality. "This is going to sting a bit." He sat down on his desk chair and looked up at me.
"Okay."
He poured a little peroxide on my palm. It didn't hurt. Whenever I could tell when pain was coming, I was good at mentally blocking it out. What I did feel was the roughness of his hands. It sent chills down my spine.
He lowered his eyebrows slowly as he dabbed my palm with a tissue. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" He didn't look up at me at all as he grabbed my other hand.
"I tripped." I could have stopped there. His gentle touch made me feel at ease, though, even though he was the last person I should be with right now. I was supposed to be avoiding him. "I'm just not used to the city yet," I said. "I usually have someone to walk me home after work and I was just a little on edge. I tripped on an uneven patch of sidewalk."
He smiled out of the corner of his mouth. "It took me awhile to adjust to the city too. I'm from a really small town out west. But it really is pretty safe here."
I wanted to ask him about his home. Did his family still live in the house next to mine? Were his parents well? Was there a new family in my old house? Did he ever think about me?