He rolls over closer to me, his finger touching my bottom lip. "If we form this bond," Michel says, running his finger along my arm. "We would be more than married, Eve. This bond is so deep, it transcends what an ordinary mortal feels with another. We would truly know each other at the deepestlevel."
I have to close my eyes for a moment and breathe deeply. To have someone know you that deeply. He leans over and kisses myshoulder.
When I open my eyes, he's seriousagain.
"Eve, you and I? This relationship? We do it to stayalive." He looks at me with those so-intense eyes. "You turn over your will to me. The mission is first, and our own will exists only to complete the mission. I am the leader and you're my righthand."
"So having sex first doeswhat?"
"It complicates things. Lovers often put their own needs and that of their lover first over the mission. There can't be that kind of dynamic or one of us – or both – coulddie."
I stare at the ceiling. "Why not two people who are committed to the mission? Workingtogether?"
"Because of how power works," he says. "It's a zero sum game. It's based on making decisions and being able to react to conditions on the ground. Only one person can do that." He leans over me, his eyes so intense. "This is war. A war for dominion. Who will win? Humans or vampires? If humans are to win, those of us who fight for you must be in perfect unison. We must be committed completely to winning. You think vampires are very strong, and we are, but we're also vulnerable in daylight and rely on humans to protectus."
"You have guards," I say. "Why not usethem?"
"Where we'll go, I can't always take guards with me. But I can take mypet."
"I'd be yourpet?"
"That's how you'd beseen."
I inhale andconsider.
"Do all vampires havepets?"
"All of those with power do. Some have aharem."
"Not you," I can't stop myself from saying it outloud.
He laughs. "No, not me, Eve. I am a former priest. Harems really aren't ourthing."
"You keep saying you're a priest, but you're not really. Otherwise you just broke yourvows."
"I'm a priest here," he says, and points to his heart. "No matterwhat."
"So do you have sex and just feelguilty?"
"Yes." He cracks a lopsided grin. "Intensely. I dopenance."
"Hair shirt?" I say, smiling. "Flogger?"
"Sore knees frompraying."
I reach out and stroke hischeek.
"Poor Michel." And I mean it. I can't understand this devotion to the Church, but it's just part of him. "So you wanted to wait until you'd established that bond with me before havingsex."
"Exactly. Then you had to put that perfume in the water. I could smell it on the street, and it smells of you. Ihadto comein…"
"And you really think you wouldn't have had sex with me if I'd been dressed and sitting on the sofa reading a book? You looked," I say and hesitate. "Desperate. Like you're worried something is going to happen tome."
"I needed to see you, talk to you, see you smile and it would make me feelbetter."
"Do you?" I smile, flashing my dimples at him. "Feelbetter?"
"Muchmuchbetter," he says and kisses my shoulder and even that makes me feel warm inside, makes my body respond. He touches myface.