THE NIGHT IS ALMOST over when I finally get a minute alone with my boyfriend. He’s sitting on the back deck, smoking a cigarette and looking unfairly hot while doing it. I take the spot next to him and rest my head on his shoulder.
“Everything okay?”
I hum, taking a sip of the wine cooler Tessa gave me. “Yeah, just can’t wait to get back to your place and cuddle.”
He snorts. “Is that all you think we’re going to do? Cuddle?” I lift my head to glance at him, and he grins. “It’s my birthday, Bambi.” He waggles his brows.
“Oh, so now you?
??re all about birthday celebrations?”
His mood becomes serious. “I wasn’t against them. I just never had a reason to be glad I was born, until now.”
It’s not his words that take my breath away, it’s the sincerity in his eyes when he says them. Everyone may think he’s the devil reincarnated, but not me. I know the hidden truth.
IM PULLED OUT OF a deep sleep by the sound of Knox’s voice, panicked and fearful. The darkness fills the room, and he thrashes around as I flick on the light.
“No! Stop!” he shouts.
“Knox?” I try but it’s useless.
“Don’t touch her!”
“Knox!”
His eyes snap open, and he takes in a deep breath. I watch him carefully as I wait for him to calm down. He sits up and rests his head in his hands, not saying a word. I slot myself against his back and wrap my arms around him from behind.
“I’m sorry I woke you,” he says, like he has something to apologize for.
I press a kiss to his skin, right over the rose. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. It was just a nightmare.”
This time, I don’t ignore the urge to dig deeper. “Do they happen often?”
He shrugs. “I guess.”
“Is that why you don’t sleep?”
Grabbing my hands, he turns around in my hold. “What’s with the interrogation?”
“I woke up in the middle of the night to my boyfriend screaming. I think I have the right to be concerned.”
“You shouldn’t be,” he whispers, kissing me quickly before standing up. “I’m okay, really.”
Leaving the room for what I can only assume is to use the restroom or get a drink, I stay on the bed and wait for him to return. He’s the king of downplaying things, and I don’t think this is much different. There’s something more than he’s letting on—a reason why he keeps freaking out when he doesn’t know where I am for more than half a second. And I can’t help unless I know what’s getting to him. Until he decides to talk about it, I have no business being here.
I get up, grabbing the few things I have scattered around his room and putting them in my bag. When I’m halfway done, Knox comes back in. His demeanor changes when he sees me.
“You’re leaving?”
I nod. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I’m your girlfriend. Lying to me about it isn’t going to help anything.” I pick up a T-shirt from the floor that happens to be his and put it on. “You keep asking if I trust you. Well, give me a reason to. Trust is a give and take.”
When he doesn’t say anything in response, I grab my bag and go to walk out of the room. However, just before I get through the door, he stops me.
“They started a little more than a month ago.” Sitting down on his bed, he keeps his eyes trained on the floor. “The same thing, over and over—like I can’t escape it.”
“Have you tried talking to anyone about it? Like a doctor or something?” The way he looks up at me, with brows raised sarcastically, confirms what I already assumed. “Yeah, okay. Stupid question.”