“Right, of course. So, my father was instantly against the relationship. He tried from the very beginning to break things off. And he was a horribly persuasive man.”
“Was? Is he dead now?” I nod. “Oh…”
She’s cold. About him and me.
“We were both scared when we found out that June was pregnant with you, because we both had life plans, and we knew everyone around us would complain… which they did.” My lips turn down into a frown at the memory, because it really was a painful time. “My father was the worst culprit. He was sneaky and sly; making moves behind our backs that none of us could have predicted. Not even me, and I grew up with him!”
Olivia can’t help herself now. I can tell she’s never heard this because she leans forward a little with confusion in her eyes. Thank God, this is all I wanted, a chance to show her that I’m not a bad guy, seriously! I might not have always made the right decisions, but I haven’t done anything coldly either, without a care in my heart.
“I didn’t know it at the time, and neither did your mother, but he was playing us both off against one another, telling us both lies. I guess we were both too young and scared to see it. He was telling your mother I didn’t want a baby because of a college opportunity that I had in London, and that she was holding me back.”
“And did you?” Olivia interjects. “Have a college thing in London?”
“I did, but I wouldn’t have gone, had I not been told lies myself. That your mom went to my father for money, and promised to disappear if he paid her off. Basically suggesting that she never actually loved me, and she just wanted me for the money. Seeing the stub and knowing she had taken the money only made me think that he was right all along.”
“Mom took the money? So that part was true?”
“Sort of.” I smile thinly. “But it isn’t as bad as it sounds, or as awful as I thought it was for a long time. I only just learned this recently, but your mom took the money because she wanted to have a chance at raising you. She didn’t see what other choice she had as a single mom. She thought I didn’t care and had run off to London, abandoning her. And I thought that she took the money because she didn’t want me in your life. It was just a stupid mix up, caused by my father being an asshole and trying to control my life. Succeeding in controlling my life. After London, I didn’t try and reach out, I didn’t think I was wanted.Hemade it clear that June and you were better off without me, and I guess I was still dumb enough to listen to him and believe him. Something I regret greatly now. So instead I focused on building my business so if you ever did come into my life, you would have something to inherit. Or even if you didn’t, I would leave everything to you. It was all I could really do for you unless you decided that you wanted to see me and know me.”
I can see that she’s gob smacked. I don’t want to ruin her perception of everything, but it does need to be skewed a little. Just so she knows that my asshole father is the only one to blame. Not June, and not so much me. Although I do have a lot of regrets.
“I know that isn’t the best excuse,” I admit. “And I have a lot to make up for because many years have passed since then, but I really didn’t want to get in the way if I wasn’t wanted. Getting that phone call from your mother was the happiest moment of my life…until I learned that you had been in an accident and that you were going through some challenging stuff.”
“I don’t think Mom ever wanted to call you. She never talked about you, even when I tried to find stuff out, and I never knew why. I thought it was just heartbreak.”
Maybe it was.
I do often wonder how things would have turned out if June and I had been allowed to get on with our lives without my dad getting in the way. Truth be told I have no idea how that would have panned out. There’s no way of knowing, so no point on dwelling on it.
“Do you get it a bit more now? Have I explained it properly? If you have any questions, please ask because I want to make this all as clear as I can…”
She shakes her head, forcing me into silence.
“I don’t know, this is all just…a lot.” She scrapes her chair back noisily. “I’m not really in the right emotional place for this. I think I need to process it. I can’t just sit here and have lunch with you. It’s weird.”
“But it doesn’t have to be,” I shoot back desperately because I’m so afraid of losing her. I was just getting to open up and I wanted her to do the same. “Let’s talk about it…”
But my words fall on deaf ears. She’s already on her way out of here. Shit, that didn’t go well at all. I mean, she heard me out and everything but I don’t know how much she really took in. I sincerely hope this isn’t my only chance with her because I seem to have fucked it up big time.
The worst part is I don’t even know what I did so wrong, so how can I fix it?
ChapterTwelve
ISABELLA
“You okay, Olivia?”
She definitely isn’t. She’s been quiet, only wanting to sunbathe on the beach in complete silence. She’s been like this ever since she returned from lunch with her dad. I can only assume that something went horribly wrong, but if she won’t open up to me then how can I help her?
We don’t normally have this issue, so I don’t know how to overcome it.
I have a horrible feeling that he’s spilled his guts about the kiss we shouldn’t have shared last night. The anxiety has me on edge. But I keep trying to remind myself that Olivia would freak out on me if she knew the truth. I definitely wouldn’t be getting the silent treatment.
That fiery temper would take me down, and I’d deserve it.
No, she can’t know. This must be something else.
“Hmm, yeah,” she grumbles, not giving me anything. “It’s super-hot, isn’t it? I was thinking I might go for a swim in the ocean in a minute. But I don’t know.”