She was gone.
Again.
CHAPTER4
Pullingoff the headphones that Natalie insisted they wear when recording, Hazel laughed at the story Tess had started as soon as ‘stop’ was pushed on the recording. Tess had a way of making life far more fun than it actually was. Though she worked as president of the only bank in town, she was always telling stories of her childhood in a large family. Today it was about a small flock of sheep she and her sister had hidden from their father in their bedroom.
When Hazel had first met the women, they’d seemed so intimidating, but now they were just her friends who happened to have cool jobs. They were fun to hang around with, and she looked forward to their biweekly get-together. They seemed to accept her as one of them.
Today she was exceptionally happy to be there because she had forced herself to go to church this morning so her grandmother would let her off that afternoon. If she had told the older woman she was too sick to attend services, she would also have to be too sick to go out with her friends. So, she forced herself to sit and watch Pastor Ruston, trying not to remember how he had yelled swear words when he came. She also tried not to remember his hands on her body or how it felt as his cock slipped through her lips. For the entire hour, she had not been able to look at his face.
Was he thinking about her?
Having made it through the service, all she had needed to do was to get through the greeting line without looking at him. She actually enjoyed when he touched her son’s head, acknowledging the boy every Sunday. But then he had run a hand over her head as he had John Henry’s. He had never done that before. She thought he had accepted that she wouldn’t shake his hand at the end of the service, but today, he touched her. She thought he was going to bless her as well, but in the end, he just wanted to talk to her. Of course, he did. But there was no way she was talking to him. They just had to put that night behind them and move on. Forget, forget, forget.
As her eyes caught his bright blue ones, she couldn’t say a word. Her voice was lost in the pools of bright blue that made her remember every second of their night together. Night? It wasn’t even an hour. Instantly, she wanted another hour with him.
Someone said her name, pulling her back from the memory of his eyes. “Earth to Haze,” Ruth said from the chair beside her. The group had started calling her by her childhood nickname almost immediately.
“What’s on your mind tonight?” Tess had poured herself another drink as she sat back at the table.
“Nothing. Just letting my mind go, that’s all,” she lied. Then distracted, she asked, “How is the wedding coming, Natalie?”
“Good, it’s less than a week away,” Natalie admitted, not exactly acting excited about the short timeframe.
“When does Jason come to town?” Mandy asked. Jason was Natalie’s fiancé, but he lived in Fargo, over three hours away. Once the wedding was over, she would be leaving them to make a life with him in the big city. Hazel didn’t think she was excited about leaving—her dad was here, and she had a good job at the library.
Hazel was a little jealous of her. Not for getting to leave, but for having a job. It was a career, actually. Though Hazel had been farming for a few years now, she always felt it was neither a job nor a career. Just what she did.
“Thursday night, maybe Friday morning depending on his mood,” she informed the group, her usual smile absent. “Are you guys coming to the rehearsal dinner on Friday night?”
Natalie had invited them to the dinner since the wedding part was small and her family was just her and her dad. The book club would fill an empty space in the church basement. Only Mia was actually in the wedding as her personal attendant; the rest were just guests.
Everyone agreed they would be there, though Hazel didn’t know if she could leave her son with her grandparents for two days in a row. The wedding was probably more important, so she was planning to attend that. Knowing that if she voiced it to the rest, they would talk her into going to both. But she hated to leave John Henry with the older couple too much. So far, they had raised their only daughter and three grandchildren, they didn’t need to raise her son too. She would be doing that.
Natalie was watching her for some reason. Did she know Hazel wasn’t going to the dinner at the end of the week? Was she on to her plans? If anyone could read her mind, it would be Natalie. “Hazel, can I talk to you in the living room?”
Hazel nodded but hesitated before she got up. Draining her remaining wine, she followed her dark-haired former classmate into the room next to the kitchen. The other four watched them go with puzzled expressions. Hazel shot them a matching expression as she followed.
Watching Natalie’s back, Hazel couldn’t remember a day in her life when Natalie wasn’t taller than her. Since the first day of kindergarten, Natalie was tall, dark, and different, which was why she had excelled in sports.
Natalie had sat in a side chair and had put her glass of wine on the coffee table. Hazel sat on the end of couch close to the other woman. Had she noticed something at church? Natalie had been there this morning. Had everyone heard what had happened? Did Ruston talk about it? Did everyone know? What would happen if everyone knew?
Panic rose, and she started to concentrate on her breathing. Slow and steady. Breathe in, breathe out. With effort, she didn’t put her head between her knees as she had been instructed years ago when the attacks started, back when they were happening every day.
Natalie was looking at her and put her hand on Hazel’s knee to calm her. “Hazel, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” Hazel lied.
“I was just going to ask if you wanted to learn the program for the podcast so that you can do it while I’m on my honeymoon,” Natalie explained, still touching her leg. “What did you think I wanted to talk to you about?”
“Nothing.” Hazel rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands, trying to get her emotions under control.
“Are you coming to my wedding?” she asked.
“Yes,” was all she said. Right now, she didn’t know if she would go to any of it. Not if this might happen.
“Good, I’m glad we’ve become friends again, Haze.” Natalie grinned as she patted her friend’s leg.