In the two days since Kit had dumped Thomas, Ruston had been distant. Way more distant than ever. Hazel knew what it meant. He was tired of her. In a little over a month, it was over. She had come between him and his best friend. He didn’t like to choose.
John Henry was with Ruston talking to Natalie’s dad. The boy was whiny today and wanted to run, but not in church. From across the room, she could see his annoyance at the little boy. Ruston wanted to talk, but John Henry was making it nearly impossible for him to do so. If he would just let him go, the boy would run. Probably to her. But maybe to his new friend Josiah, who was also struggling to get away from his mother and grandmother.
Completely chickening out on talking to Kit, she went across the room and grabbed John Henry from Ruston so he could talk in peace. Or maybe so he wouldn’t be reminded how bad it was being married to her and everything that came with her.
Trying to not see the continued annoyance in his eyes as she grabbed the boy from his arms, she carried him away. In the month since Ruston had come into their lives, she had loosened her grip on the boy, letting him be a boy. But maybe Ruston had liked him because he was so controlled. John Henry never acted out in public until now.
At least now she had a few hundred dollars to get started in a new life. Not that it would last more than a week or so, but she had more than she had a month before. Somehow, she was back at square one with no plan to get to square two, if she even knew what square two looked like. Either way, she had no motivation to get there. Looking back, she should have pushed to get a job and be useful to her husband. Instead, she had stayed at home and raised her own son. He wasn’t even their son, just hers.
Slipping out the door, she carried John Henry across the road to Ruston’s house. The snow from a few weeks before was gone. There would be more soon, but the grass was already dry and brittle beneath her feet. Inside the warm house, she put her son down, who ran to his room to play. He was probably tired of her as well.
Oddly, he had adjusted to having his own room—he didn’t seem to miss his mother being beside him as much as she had missed him. Though Ruston being close had made it easier on her, sometimes she missed his little body being close.
Sitting down heavily on the couch, she knew she should be packing and preparing for a life without the man she loved, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She was a coward. First she was unable to speak to Kit, and now she wasn’t leaving when he wanted her gone. Did she really have to hear him say the words? Would that force her to do it? Or would she stall then as well?
With John Henry busy and Ruston still at church, she curled into a ball at the end of the couch and tried to plan a life she didn’t want. This was where she wanted to be, married to Ruston and in the town she loved. But she didn’t belong there. She was a reminder to many of the past, a past best forgotten. If she was gone, Natalie could move on and Kit could move on. Life could move on.
As she lay there, the door opened. Expecting to see Ruston, she was surprised when Kit walked through the door. Josiah rushed in after her and ran directly to John Henry’s room. Sitting up quickly, she wondered what the other woman was doing here.
“Ruston said you were probably at home. Josiah wanted to say hi, and I couldn’t get him to stop.” Kit shut the door behind her.
“I think John Henry was feeling the same,” Hazel agreed, wiping the tears from her face, wishing she wasn’t so obvious about crying.
“Are you feeling okay?” Kit lingered by the open door.
“Fine. I’m fine,” she lied. Her life was over. How could she be fine?
“Can we talk?” Kit asked and took a step inside, finally shutting the door behind her.
Now was her chance. She had chickened out earlier but had been given a second chance. This time, she wouldn’t blow it. She would make everything right before she left. “Kit, I want you to give Thomas another chance. Everyone can see how much he likes you and how good he is with your kids. I think you two could be really happy together,” Hazel blurted out. Too late, she realized that maybe that wasn’t what Kit had come to talk about.
“Thomas and I have a lot of obstacles in our way.” Kit took another few steps toward the couch.
“I’m not going to be one of them. I know I’m a reminder of the past, but I’m leaving. I swear, Thomas and Ruston can be friends again. I won’t get in the way of that.” Tears again. Damn tears.
Kit looked at her in confusion. “What are you talking about? Where would you go?”
“Away. Ruston is tired of John Henry and me. He realized it the other night that I’m not worth it. He and Thomas have been friends forever, and he doesn’t want to lose that. Not for me.” She ran her sleeve over her eyes, willing them to stop.
“You mean the same Ruston who told me I was Thomas’s Hazel?” Kit unzipped her jacket with a smile.
“I knew he would get tired of me, but I thought I had more time.”
“Did you know that I knew Thomas was going to a wedding the same night as I was in October? He said his best friend was marrying the love of his life and that he had been in love with her since the summer. I thought, no way were we going to the same wedding. After all, you had only been engaged for a few weeks. Whirlwind courtship and all.” Kit sat down on the coffee table across from her.
“He only married me to save his job. It was either that or leave Landstad. A permanent mark on his record.” Hazel admitted the truth, that he didn’t love her like others thought he did. It was all a lie.
“Thomas told me he lied to you to get you to marry him. The guy I watched marry you wanted to marry you. That guy was so in love with you he couldn’t think straight that day.” Kit looked at her and smiled. “For a man who had officiated hundreds of weddings, he messed up the vows three times.”
“Why would he lie to me?” She wiped her eyes again, confused.
“Because you’re stubborn and would have left town if he hadn’t. He didn’t want to live without you, and I’m starting to understand what he feels.”
“But I’m not worth anything. I have no job and no skills.” She had no job because she didn’t know how to do anything. She had put her entire self into a job she hated and wasn’t very good at.
“You were always the most talented of you three. Hanna told me once she thought you would be a music star one day, and she was going to be your manager.” Kit’s words surprised her. Her sister had never once said that to her.
“When did she say that?” She needed to know.