“Do you want me to go, Hazel?” he whispered in her ear.
“No, but you can’t stay.” She wanted to be in his arms, but she knew he had an image to maintain. Staying here would jeopardize his job.
“I have no car out front. Only your friends know that I am even here, and you said most of them know we have already slept together.”
“Yeah,” she said breathlessly as his hands slid up over her breasts, with only a shirt and bra between them.
“Can I stay, Hazel?” he asked again.
“Please stay, Ruston,” she said as his lips touched her neck. But at her words, he spun her around and pinned her against the wall with her hands over her head as he continued the kiss they had started in the field a few hours before.
With her hands pinned over her head by one of his, she was unable to touch him like she wanted to. She was unable to pull her arms free. His free hand had slipped up under her shirt and bra and was caressing her breast, making her want to watch him more.
Pulling her mouth from his, she trailed kisses across his face, and as his lips went back to her neck, she licked his ear and hissed, “Let me go, preacher man.”
“No, you go too fast. I want to take my time.” He was breathless as he said the words.
“Fuck.” She threw her head back to give him better access to her neck as she wrapped a leg around his waist to pull him closer. When she got the other around him, he pinned her against the wall with his body and finally let go of her arms.
With her hands suddenly free, she pulled his shirt from where it was tucked into his pants, then started fumbling with the shirt’s buttons. But it just kept her busy while he pulled her away from the wall and held her in place while he started walking. As she worked the buttons, he made it to the top of the stairs and asked, “Which is yours?”
Stopping, she looked at him and said, “John Henry is in mine.”
“Where then?” he said as they just oddly stood in the hallway. She had never brought a man home, never even thought about it.
Looking around, she wondered what to do. The other two rooms were still her siblings’ rooms. Nothing had changed in them since the day they died. The other room was just full of junk; there wasn’t even a bed or anything. Her grandparents had a room downstairs. She pushed away from him, and he lowered her to the floor. Talk about breaking the mood.
“There is no place. I’m sorry. You can take my car home.” She turned and walked away from him. Pushing the door open to her bedroom, she crawled into the twin bed she had always slept in. After a few minutes, she climbed out long enough to strip out of her clothes and climbed back into the bed.
Rolling over, she watched her son sleeping in the crib next to her.Don’t cry, Hazel, she demanded.You know it was better not to have him again. There’s no future in it.
She saw the hallway light turn off before her bedroom door opened. Ruston walked into the room and looked around in the dark. What did he see? A crib and dresser and a twin bed. Nothing.
“Can I stay?” he asked.
“Yes,” she answered, then watched as he took off his clothes. First his shirt that only had a few bottom buttons left. Then his T-shirt and slacks. Sitting on the bed, he took off his socks. She scooted close to the edge of the bed. He would have to lie close to the wall in case John Henry woke up.
Awkwardly, he climbed in over her, and when he was settled, he pulled her into his arms. Ruston just held her and let his body warm her, taking away the cold that had seeped into her.
“What’s in the other rooms?” he whispered, not wanting to wake the baby in the crib right next to the bed they were in.
“One is storage, one is Henry’s, and one is Hanna’s. We don’t go into them. This has always been mine,” she whispered back.
Under the covers, he pulled her closer to his warm body. “So, your whole life is this little room, and John Henry sleeps in it too?”
“Yes. I should move him into another room, but I don’t have it in me. Who will lose their room for my son?” she asked the darkness.
“Nobody. They don’t need a room anymore, Hazel. But you and John Henry do,” Ruston whispered.
“But they hated when I went into their rooms. I didn’t belong there,” she said as the tears started to run down her face and into her pillow.
“Don’t cry, Hazel.” He lifted his head and kissed her bare shoulder.
“I don’t want to. Make it stop, Ruston. Please. Take the pain away.” She rolled to face him and ran her hands up his bare chest. Once they made it all the way up, she let them go, wrapping her arms around his head so that she could pull his lips to hers. The kiss was not the deep, hungry kiss of earlier, but soft and tender.
He carefully pushed her onto her back as the kiss deepened. His hands went to her bare breasts under the covers, and she sighed as he caressed them, making her nipples pebble under his touch. Pulling his mouth from her, he kissed down her face and neck. Lightly he brushed his teeth over her skin, reminding her of the hickey she had given him the first time. She giggled and covered her mouth with her hand and looked over at her son. He was still sleeping. Turning back to Ruston, he was looking at her. Smiling, he took her nipple into his mouth and sucked gently, leaving the hand on her mouth as she moaned as quietly as she could.
As his mouth captured her other breast, his hand slid down her stomach and slipped between her legs. Spreading her legs to give him better access, his fingers worked their magic, and soon her hand wasn’t able to contain the sounds she was making.