“Yes.” She swayed a little and then stood tall.
Mia took her hand. “I’m taking Hazel home. She cannot drive like this, and it’ll just upset Rose and probably John Henry.”
Hazel had no reply to that. She was exhausted and had no energy to argue, though she had wanted it to be Ruston who was bringing her home. There was no energy to argue against her feelings for him. She just wanted to be held in his arms for longer.
Hazel was unable to say anything as the girls left Ruston on the street and ushered her across the road and up into Mia’s apartment. Once inside, she left them and went to the bathroom to see what she looked like. And she looked as bad as she had thought that she would. Good thing she didn’t go with Ruston.
By the time she got herself together enough to leave the bathroom, everyone but Mia had left, which was for the best. he didn’t want so many people around, even if they were only there to help.
With trepidation, she called her grandmother. Hazel never knew if her grandmother would be happy to watch her son for longer or demanded she came home. She was relieved when she was happy to let her stay in town overnight. John Henry was already asleep. Just having too much fun with friends, she had told the older lady, which caused her grandma to remind her to be home before her son woke up in the morning. Mia had loaned her something to sleep in, and she had just climbed into the spare bed when Mia came into the room with a glass of water.
Setting it on the bedside table, Mia sat down on the bed. “Are you really okay?
Hazel laid her head on the pillow and said, “Physically, yes. I’m fine. Emotionally, I’m not going to survive.”
“Have you ever seen anyone about the panic attacks?” Mia asked.
“No. Just no.” Hazel rolled to look at the woman sitting beside her. “It won’t help. I cannot be helped, Mia.”
“I want to help, Haze. I want you to be better. I know what happened that day, and I don’t know how you survived it. Sometimes I think your injuries were worse than Natalie’s. All she had to do was heal on the outside, and she had all kinds of help with that from doctors and specialists. Your injuries were hidden, and nobody was there for you. I see you at church, but you don’t participate.” Mia ran her fingers over Hazel’s short blonde hair.
“God and I don’t talk. I just go for Grandma. She wants me there.”
“Do you think you could talk to Pastor Ruston? He was a great help tonight. I could tell he relaxed you during the panic attack,” Mia replied.
“No, I can’t go to him.” Hazel rolled back onto her back away from Mia’s eyes.
“He’s really good at counseling. I’ve heard of a lot of people who have gone to him. They’ve had good results,” Mia pushed.
“No, Mia,” Hazel warned.
“Maybe if you could just listen to him talk and look at his cute face. Do you think he’s ripped?” Mia questioned.
“Yes,” Hazel whispered as the memory of his chest under her roaming fingers came to mind.
“Have you seen him with his shirt off?” Mia was all interested suddenly.
“No, nothing like that.” True, Hazel had never seen him without his shirt on. “Can we drop it?”
“I really don’t want too, Haze. What happened? You don’t have to tell if you don’t want to.” Mia scooted closer to Hazel, lying on the other side of the bed.
“Mia,” Hazel warned.
“Come on, Hazel, girl talk. Please,” Mia begged.
“What do you want to know?” Hazel was already regretting it. Sex with Ruston was her memory. She really didn’t want to share it.
“Was it an accident?” Mia started to drink the water Hazel was sure that Mia had brought for her.
“What?” Hazel wondered. It was all an accident; none of it was an accident.
“Rephrase.” Mia sighed in exasperation. “Did you accidentally feel his chest or was that on purpose?”
“Purpose.” Hazel smiled at the memory of her hands running up his chest then down again.
“Were you on a date?” Mia prodded.
“No,” was all Hazel said.