“Remmy!” I say his name a little softer this time and he releases Cole, letting him slump against the floor. A moment later he’s whirling around on me. The look in his eyes is wild, feral… and I want him. Only him. Always him. I shiver, reaching for him once more. He looks like he might ravage me, and right now, I would let him. I’d let him have me over and over again.
“I want you,” I whimper. The look in his eyes diminishes almost instantly, and before I can say another word, he’s gathering up my clothes and grabbing a blanket off the floor.
“No, Jules. I’m not fucking you with that drug in your system. I’m an asshole, a monster even but I will not take your fucking innocence like this.” His response is almost like a slap to the face, and I want to fight him on this, tell him how much he means to me, but the stupid words won’t come. In fact, nothing will. I feel lifeless, like I’m floating on a cloud in the sky.
“Come on, you need to get dressed,” he says, already pulling my shirt over my head. I awkwardly pull my arms through and a shiver runs down my spine when the fabric runs over my bare nipple. I forgot he took my bra off. My hands move all on their own and I reach out for Remmy, letting my fingers run over the hard planes of his chest. The need to touch him far too much to ignore. My pulse quickens, and a throbbing begins between my thighs. This…this is what I should’ve felt with Cole.
His chest rises and falls so rapidly I know he wants this too, so why isn’t he reacting to me in the same way I am him. He takes a couple deep breaths and kneels down in front of me. I look down at him, confused until I realize he is holding out my jeans for me.
“Step in,” he orders. I almost fall over when I lift my foot to step in, but he grabs my hip and steadies me. His hand against my bare skin is like heaven and I moan out in pleasure. “Hold on to my shoulders.” His words are restrained.
He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I grab his shoulders with both hands, enjoying the feeling of his muscles flexing beneath his shirt as he moves. Sucking in a deep breath, I inhale his scent. The smell of beer is on his breath, but his natural scent, the one that makes him, him is what I really smell…soap and just Remmy.
“We’re going to walk out of here like nothing is wrong, okay?” He pulls my jeans up and over my ass and zips up the zipper. I’m too focused on his hands against my most sensitive areas to remember what he’s saying.
“Okay?” he repeats, and I see something inside his eyes, something that looks a lot like shame, and maybe even pain. I want to ask him what’s going on, why he feels the way he does, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I just want to kiss him, feel his hands against my skin.
“Okay,” I murmur, just as he straightens. My hands are still on his shoulders and suddenly the touch isn’t enough., I need more. Snaking my arms all the way around his neck, I lean into him, my head coming to rest against his chest.
Pressing my ear to his chest, a smile tugs at my lips at the steady beat of his heart. I’m sure he’s going to push me away again at any moment, like he did when I hugged him last time, so when he doesn’t, I lean in even closer, pressing my front against his, until we’re so close I can feel every inch of his muscled body against mine.
We stand there, him letting me hug him, and even resting a hand on the small of my back. I don’t tell him this, but if I could stay like this forever…I would. Apparently Remmy can’t though because just as soon as I start to close my eyes, he starts to pull away, pushing against my shoulders gently, holding me at arm’s length.
“We need to go, Jules.” There’s an urgency to his voice.
I don’t want to go, and anywhere I go I want him to go too.
“Are you coming with me?”
“I’ll take you home if that’s what you mean.”
“I don’t want to go home. I want to go with you.” I frown, or at least I think I’m frowning, I don’t really know.
“Jules.” His tone holds a warning, but I still don’t feel scared. This is Remmy…the real Remmy, not the facade he puts on display for this stupid college or his friends. This is the boy I fell in love with, the boy who kissed my boo-boos and put ants in my pants, the boy that laughed at me when I cut my bangs for the first time, making myself look like a boy.