I hope he doesn’t brush off my request about Mason because my mother interrupted our conversation.
“We were just finishing up.” He gives her a dry smile. Clearly annoyed at Mother for barging inside the study.
“Oh, okay. Did you see that the corner lot down the street just sold? It has been vacant since we built our house and someone bought it. I wonder who purchased it and what house they will build?”
My mother is a social butterfly and a one-upper. She has to have the nicest house on the block, the best-looking children, and the most expensive cars parked in the garage.
“I guess we’ll see when it’s built, won’t we? I don’t know who bought the piece of land, but we will soon find out so you can compare,” my father says sarcastically.
I wonder how they deal with each other. I sometimes feel bad for her, but my mother is posh, and that is what my father wanted when he married her.
It’s sad how they ignore each other and are only affectionate in public to keep up the facade. My mother doesn’t care about his mistresses if she has every materialistic item she desires. Maybe she has a lover hidden somewhere. Maybe not. Father is not someone who would handle a man sleeping with his wife and being made a fool of in his world.
I still think it sucks to be stuck in a loveless marriage. But that is what they chose, I guess. I’m just glad Aiden and Khalani are solid and in love.
I think my father understands what love is in some way. If not, he wouldn’t have had a hand in Aiden marrying Khalani. He knew they were into each other and in love. I mean, you can hear it almost every night when my brother makes love to his wife.
I rise from my chair with the blue file in my hand. “I need to head out. I don’t want to be late for my economics class.”
As I cross the floor, I’m feeling defeated, I didn’t get my father’s word regarding Mason. Before I reach the doorway, my father calls my name. I turn around.
“You have my word.” My father eyes me. “I can only promise physically. Emotionally is another matter entirely.”
I nod, the look on Mother’s face showing she has no idea what he is referring to, but I take his promise and walk out.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lucy
Imake it just in time to class and see Mason sitting closer to my seat. My head tilts curiously in his direction. He tracks my movement as I take the steps up the center aisle. Khalani waves me over and I slide into the seat next to her.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I say, placing my bag on the floor between my feet.
When I lean back in my seat, a large hand with a familiar tattoo places a folded piece of paper on my desk—Mason.
The professor walks in, but I ignore him as I unfold the lined notebook paper.
Sorry isn’t the right word to describe the ache I feel in my heart for the loss of our baby. I can only imagine the agony you have suffered for more than a year. I have hurt and disrespected you. You have every right to hate me and never speak to me again. I know I deserve that, but there are circumstances that caused me to make the biggest mistake of my life. And that mistake was letting you go. The only thing I can say is that I’m going to fight for you, Luciana. I wanted you to know that. I miss you.
Love, Mase
Words I’ve dreamed of hearing from his lips are written on a simple piece of notebook paper. My chest aches because I loved Mason with everything I had, and the only thing I can offer now is protection from my father. It is all I can give him right now.
My whole senior year, I suffered in silence and watched the boy I loved flirting and wondered if he was sleeping with different girls. It bothered me to see Mason with a girl that wasn’t me. Gloria knew it and used it to add salt to an already gaping wound. Mason snuck a glance here and there, mainly because I would turn him down when he asked to hang out with me like we used to. He didn’t know the deep loss I suffered and at the time, I couldn’t tell him.
Especially movie nights or when a new movie released in the theater. He always made sure he waited until we could watch it together. When I turned him down the fifth time, I overheard Gloria tell her friends he took some girl to the theater to watch it.
I know he would have gone with me instead, but I couldn’t look him in the eye or be in his presence. Not when my heart and soul were full of so much pain. I cried anyway as soon as I found out, but I kept it inside like I did everything else and took it out in training with my father’s team from Mexico. I busied myself with ballet lessons, piano lessons, mixed martial arts, going to the range, and learning how to disarm and kill a target.
It was all my father’s grand plan. I’m his wildcard, no one will suspect.
Then, Alex happened, and it was exactly what I needed to break the ice with my celibacy. Sex with Alex was great, but it can’t compare to sex with Mason. I have realized sex with someone is not the same when you have sex with someone you love. Alex took my pain away for the moment, but it wasn’t love.
There were no promises to be together or strings attached. In my experience with how Mason and the guys treat their girls—aside from Aiden with Khalani—I know Alex will eventually move on and have sex with someone else.
My father forbade me from having boyfriends and sex until I graduated high school and started college. I broke his rule, but he didn’t cash in on his punishment. Come to think of it, having a miscarriage and the boy I loved hurting me the way he did was enough. And my father probably knew that. Nothing gets by him, which is why I said nothing to anyone, including Mason. Until now.