“It’s only bad until you find the people thatdoembrace you. You know, like Sofia, Ileana, your aunt in Mexico,me,” I say with a grin.
“You’re silly.”
“But seriously, I’m a little worried about you. When I met you, I thought maybe you were depressed, and I think I was right. I think you still are.”
She sighs. “I don’t know.”
“Have you seen a therapist yet?”
Lola rolls her eyes. “You sound just like Ileana now.”
“Think about it. It helps.”
“You’ve been to therapy?” Lola asks, clearly not expecting me to say yes.
“I have. I have a regular therapist in Germany. Haven’t seen her in a while, though. Since I’ve been here. But it does help, Lola. More than you can understand until you go through it.”
“I’ll think about it,” she says.
“Good. As soon as you get to Mexico, find someone. I’ll pay for it if that’s what it takes.”
“You’re too kind, Karl. Too generous.”
I let the topic drop, and we’re both silent for a moment. We stay like that, just staring at each other, our breaths in perfect sync, until we fall asleep.
We wake up much the same way, just staring at each other.
“Can I ask you something since you were being all serious and open last night?” Lola asks.
“Sure.”
“You said you love me.”
I nod. “I did.”
“But you won’t have intercourse with me. Why?”
I sigh. This again. I hold her gaze so she knows I’m serious when I answer. “Because you don’t love me—”
“Karl—”
“It’s okay, doll. I know you have feelings for me. And I think you could get there—thatwecould get there. You just need to be a little patient.”
We both fall silent, and I don’t know what else to say, how else to comfort her. Before I realize what’s happening, Lola rolls over on top of me, making out with me.
She grinds her hips over mine, forcing an erection out of me.
“Please, Karl,” she begs. “I need you.”
“I will happily make you come if that’s what you need, but we’re not ready for that step yet,” I say with the best smile I can offer. With what she’s been through today, seeking hollow comfort from the flesh wouldn’t be quite the same as choosing to make love to someone for the sake of loving them, would it?
She bunches my shirt in her fists, and she begs once more. “I need your closeness. I want to feel you inside of me.Please.”
God, how can I resist this? When she’s so perfect, begging for me, wanting a physical connection to soothe her aching heart. I want to give in. She may not love me yet, but having sex with her could be a step in that direction.
It’s a bad idea, I know it is, but I’ve held off as long as I can humanly hold off.
At the end of the day, I’m just a man—a mere mortal.