“Yes, doll,” he hisses. “Engulf me. Take me deep.”
And oh hell, that’s all the coaxing I need. I rock back farther and farther, scooting back until he’s so deep in me, it steals my breath.
I am a little sore, but nothing terrible. Even last night wasn’t quite as painful as I’d imagined it being, though I know without a doubt it had utterly to do with the patient man who only wanted my pleasure that first night.
His hands massage my glutes, and I rock forward and back again. He grunts with his pleasure and leans over me to grab me by the shoulders and pull me back toward him, pinning my entire body to his penis.
“Fuck,” I nearly scream at the unimaginable depth that feels unlike anything in this world.
I clench around him, enjoying him this deep, and it must snap something in him because he grows wild. I know all thoughts of my pleasure are gone along with any restraint he demonstrated last night for our first time.
It’s now all about him, his dick, and his release.
If last night was for me, today is for him. One hand leaves my right shoulder and goes to my hair, gathering a partial ponytail and twisting it around his fingers so he can pull on it, forcing my head back.
It’s full light out now, and it’s so bright we wouldn’t be missed if someone walked by. But even over the slapping sound from his rough thrusting, I do my best to commit this moment to memory, the orange and blue sunrise in front of us, the soft sound of the gentle ocean not masking the sounds of wet, punishing thrusts slapping my behind. My man behind me, wild and savage, lost to his pleasure—claiming it from my body.
40
LOLA
Karl is wrapped around me as I rest my back on his chest now that we’ve relocated to our bedroom. “What a beautiful sunrise,” I joke, looking out our window from the bed, and he chuckles.
“Can we stay in all day and just . . . fuck?” he asks.
“As tempting as that is, I can’t. I have to work tonight.”
“Lola.” He whines out my name.
“And this morning we should get you over to meet mytía.She’s my closest family now, and if we’re really getting serious—”
“We are,” Karl interrupts me. “You’re it for me, Lola. I meant it when I asked you to marry me. Please tell me you have an answer for me, doll. You’re driving me crazy.”
I shake my head. “I still need to think about it. I’m sorry. There’s so much we need to talk about before taking a step like that.”
A crease forms between his brows.
“There’s nothing to discuss,” he says like he’s laying down the law. “You’re it.The one. And I know, I know it’s sappy and stupid, but it’s also true.”
I consider him for a moment, how tightly he’s holding on to my waist, how pained his features look. It’s almost like he’s anticipating impending rejection, and he needs to hold on tightly before I have a chance to toss him aside.
“Karl,” I say as softly as I can manage. “You’re the one for me too, but it’s a big step. We should discuss—”
“Nothing. Whatever it is, we will work through it, as husband and wife.”
I sigh. I’m never going to convince this stubborn man, so I need to just say it and let the dice fall where they may. We were, after all, always fond of games. “I don’t want children,” I hurry to say before he can cut me off again.
“Okay,” he says, thinking.
Then I add, “Ever. And it’s not one of those things where you think I’ll change my mind when I’m older. I won’t. Would you be okay with that, it being just us two?”
“Three,” Karl says and smiles at me. “Don’t forget Pixel.”
I laugh. “Right.” I try to be serious again. “Are you okay with never having children?”
“I’m not sure,” he says. “To be honest, I never gave children any thought. Can I ask why, though? Why do you think you’ll never want them? And how you’re so sure at nineteen?”
“I want to play. I want to make my own band. We’ll be traveling, and it just wouldn’t be a good situation. But it’s not as simple as that. It’s not about logistics. I asked myself if I could envision a life like Sofia’s and Ileana’s, and I can’t.”