“Because of my age? You were eighteen, and I was sixteen.” I look deep into his eyes.
“Not because of that. I stopped myself every time, because if I didn’t… if I would have had a taste, there wouldn’t be any turning back for me. I would have claimed you… subsequently, breaking the law. I wouldn’t have been able to keep things between us a secret either. I would have shouted that shit from the mountain tops, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave for college either… not without you. That and your fucking brother was always watching us.” Ian and I both laugh.
“So, it wasn’t my imagination?” I smile, thinking back.
“Not by a long shot.” He snickers, “trust me… I wanted to.”
“Wow, everything smells amazing.” I eye all the foods in front of me.
“It should. It took all afternoon to prepare.” Ian smugly says.
“Wait… you cooked and prepared all this?” I put my hand on my chest in shock.
“No… I burn water. I meant it took someone on Chef Marcie’s team all afternoon to prepare and like five minutes for me to pick up.” He grins, “you wouldn’t believe the favors I had to do to get this done.” He pops a grape in his mouth.
“Sexual favors?” I ask in a monotone voice. Ian gasps and coughs as if he is choking. He hits his chest and coughs again, spitting out a grape into a napkin.
“Shit, Kate. You almost made me choke on a grape.” He coughs again, taking a sip of his wine, “but no… no sexual favors were made.”
I look at his red face and laugh, “did I embarrass you?”
“Pfft, no… I don’t know, maybe a little bit. Definitely caught me off guard. I see my little Kate is grown up now. I better stay on my toes with you.” We both laugh. It feels good to laugh with him. This is the Ian I fell in love with seven years ago.
“So, what are we having? I’m starving.” I look between him and the food, catching a look in his eye that I hadn’t seen in years. The look that makes me feel like I’m the only girl in the world.
“Roasted duck. Looking in your fridge back in New York and seeing all the leftover Chinese takeaway containers with leftover duck, I figured duck was a new favorite of yours.” He points to the duck and looks at me.
“How many times were you in my apartment when I wasn’t there?” I pour myself another glass of wine.
“Is that really important? I mean, what’s a little b and e when you’re trying to win the girl back?” He laughs and continues to give me a food tour, “roasted asparagus and cherry tomatoes, garlic and parmesan green beans, burgundy mushrooms, honey brown sugar roasted carrots, and my favorite…” I interrupt him.
“Deviled eggs.” I smile and pick up a carrot.
“You remembered.” He returns the smile and watches me intently as I take a bite of the carrot.
“Mmmm, so good.” I tilt my head back, closing my eyes, savoring the sweet and buttery flavor of the carrot. I open my eyes to find Ian staring at me with a smile on his face. “What?” I giggle and take another bite of the delicious carrot.
“Nothing, I didn’t say anything,” he laughs, knowing I have caught him.
“You were staring.” I take the last bite of the carrot and snicker.
“No, I wasn’t,” he scoffs, pretending to be offended.
“Liar,” I laugh, sipping my wine.
“Ok… you caught me. You’re so beautiful, I can’t help but to stare.” Ian smiles and raises an eyebrow.
“Wow, you slathered the cheese on thick with that one.” I point at him, then drink the last of my wine. He takes the bottle and pours us both another glass.
“It may be cheesy, but it’s true. I was such a fucking idiot for treating you the way I did.” He looks down and bites his quivering bottom lip.
“That’s definitely a true statement.” I inhale sharply and exhale. “Ian… if I’m… if we’re going to do this, we can’t talk about the past. The past has kept my heart in turmoil for over two and a half years. I can’t be reminded of the lying, cheating, manipulation, and broken promises. I want to concentrate on the future and forget about the past.” A tear rolls down my cheek.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he crawls over and sits beside me, cupping my cheek in his hand. I can feel a mild tingle on my cheek. I wonder if I will ever feel the full sensation of the mate bond on my skin again. “Ok, no more talk of the past.” He pauses, then breathes in and out slowly, before speaking again. “I want you to know how sorry I am for the bullshit I put you through, Kate. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure you know how much you mean to me, and how much you are loved. And I promise to be the mate you truly deserve. Ok?” He pulls my hands to his lips, kissing the palms of my hands slowly and tenderly. His tone is soft and warm, and he seems incredibly sincere. He looks like he is apologetic about the past. I want to throw caution to the wind and put all my trust into his words, but the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach is screaming danger, danger, danger, proceed with caution.
“How? A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots. How can I trust you, after everything you have put me through?” I look at him and gulp.
“Because I have done a lot of work to better myself and change.” Ian shifts in his seat. He exhales sharply and runs his fingers through his hair. He seems agitated. “What I’m about to tell you, you can’t tell anyone.” He gulps, “I hope you still choose to give me a chance after I tell you.”