Nothing from Mom, either.
Well, maybe I wasn’t the only one who didn’t show up for her ordered appearance. My mom was not shy about letting me know when I’d pissed her off. Tory attacked my feet from under the bed as I tugged off my shoes.
I debated sending a text to the guys individually, but I was tired, and if I started chatting, we might be up for another hour. I really needed a shower and for Jake to let me know he was home, so I sent a message to the group chat that I was home and grabbing a shower, and that I’d probably crash right after that.
There was a litany of good nights and sweet dreams from Archie and Coop. But nothing from Ian.
Making a face, I dropped the phone on the bed and headed to the bathroom. It took me fifteen minutes to shower, wash my hair, and shave. One problem with dating, I had to keep up with the shaving. The guys hadn’t said anything, but it was the principle of the thing.
Hair blow-dried, teeth brushed, and pajamas on, I padded back to my room and dumped my dirty clothes in the laundry basket. I’d rinsed out the suit and left it hanging in the bathroom to dry.
Smothering a yawn, I checked my phone.
Jake:Home. Saw your message. Sweet dreams, baby girl. Wish I was there.
I grinned.
A second message also waited.
Ian:I’m sorry if I spoiled your evening. I really didn’t want that. I get that I’m confusing you, and I don’t want that either. Maybe we can talk more tomorrow? Sleep well, Frankie. I miss my muse.
His muse?
Me:We can definitely talk. I don’t like this distance either. I don’t like how it’s making me feel.
I debatedwhether to hit send on that, then added another line or three.
Me:I really like you, Ian. I hate the idea that you don’t trust me to decide what I want. Or who I want.
I almost addedI need youand then backed that up before I hit send. I did need them. I needed all of them. But that was a step too far, considering how much crap spilling around me kept splashing onto them. Need implied a lot more. Particularly after admitting I’d missed them.
Ian:I trust you. I get that probably isn’t coming across. I just don’t know how much I trust the guys.
Me:They’re your friends.
Ian:I know. Maybe that’s why. I know them, F. I know them better than you think.
Me:What does that mean?
His response wasn’t immediate,and I took the time to climb into bed and shut off the lights. The cats immediately pounced, each one looking for their spot. The fact that Tiddles settled right on my chest and started purring made me smile.
This was another reason I loved my cats. They were always willing to cuddle, and they didn’t let me down. Mom could stand to take a few lessons.
Ian:It means when we’re all together and you’re not there, we’re not always the same guys you know.
Well,that wasn’t ominous or anything.
Me:Are they still your friends?
It wasanother long moment before he answered, but the three little dots told me he was typing.
Something.
For a while.
Maybe Ian was like me, writing something then erasing it because it was too much.
My eyes were getting heavier, but I wanted to know why yes or no was such a hard thing to type.