“The fact is, we’ve all been your firsts in some ways. That doesn’t mean we get more…” He hesitated a beat, before he continued, “… say in what you do or don’t do. Bubba knew you were going out with us when he did the ask. He wanted Homecoming to be his first real date with you, and that’s weeks away and that was his choice.”
I licked my lips. “I know. Now he isn’t sure he wants to date because he thinks I need a friend more.”
“What do you think?”
“I think I want to date him, but I don’t want to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do. That isn’t right either. I like…I like all of us, even if it’s different. I don’t want to have to choose.” Even if I was going to have to at some point—I dreaded that nebulous day.
“Is he asking you to?” The intensity in Jake’s gaze trapped me. “Is that what Bubba wants?”
“That’s not what he asked me…” No, he’d explained about their points game. Glancing down at my hands, I bit my upper lip.
“You can tell me anything, baby girl. I mean it. If you don’t want to tell me, I’ll shut up.” He grimaced. “I won’t like it, but I’ll shut up.”
I laughed. “No you won’t.” I sighed. “You push me, and you’re too blunt to dance around the topic.”
“For you, I could try.”
“No, I’ve always liked that you won’t let me ignore things, even when I want to.”
It was hard to admit that. His expression gentled in the faint light cast by the dashboard. When he cupped my chin and brushed his thumb against my lower lip, he said, “You know, I’m going to remember that the next time you snap at me when I call you on pushing us away or not telling me something. You like it when I push. Got it. I can totally do that, too.”
Laughing, I leaned forward, and he met me halfway. The kiss was gentle and sweet. The gentle stroke of his tongue requested entrance, and I opened to him. When he settled his hand against my breast, I groaned, or maybe that was him. The weight of his fingers tugging at a nipple through the fabric sent languid heat spilling through me.
“God, I want to ask to come up and stay tonight,” Jake admitted in between kisses. “But I have to make an appearance at home, or Mom will get testy.”
“Wednesday?”
“Absolutely. Even if your mom is here. Maybe even definitely if your mom is here. You shouldn’t have to deal with her.”
Unfortunately, life wasn’t that kind. Another kiss, and I leaned back. “Thank you, Jake.”
“For?”
“Just for being you.” I covered his hand on my breast. “I’ll think about you when I curl up with my pillow.” It would still smell like him.
“Fuck,” he groaned, and leaned his head back. “Maybe I can text my mom…”
“Don’t,” I said. “We don’t want her to get mad at you, and it’s probably better we both get sleep because I doubt we would if you spent the night.”
“Not for a while, no,” he said with a smile. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed you didn’t really answer my question about what Bubba said.”
“I know, but I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about that with you yet. It feels personal.” It also included all of them and would likely start another fight. Maybe Ian didn’t need my protection, he’d certainly not acted like it this evening, but we were all friends, and all of those connections were important to me.
“Okay, baby girl. I’ll let you off the hook—but if that changes, you can tell me anything. I promise.”
“That goes for you, too, you know.” And while I’d like nothing more than to just sit here and make out for another half hour or more, he needed to go home and I needed to go inside. Shouldering my backpack, I smiled at him through the open door. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yes you will. I’ll text when I get home, but I’m going to wait until you’re inside. Text me if she’s there, okay?”
The ball of tension in my gut unraveled. “I will.”
I blew him another kiss before I closed the door. Once inside the apartment, I found it mostly dark and silent. Only the single light I’d left on in the kitchen burned.
Carefully, I made my way to Mom’s door and listened. Tiddles came trotting up the hallway, yowling his disdain. Okay. The cats were out. I texted Jake that all was well and I was alone.
Jake:Good deal. Talk to you when I get home.
In my bedroom,I put my backpack down and checked my other messages. Nothing from the guys, but then I hadn’t expected any. I’d spent the whole evening with them.