But those thoughts keep giving way to memories of Jaxon in the grass, groaning as I took him in my mouth, the feeling of his piercing against my tongue, the look on his face when he came. Memories of me up against his bedroom door, the hungry way he kissed me, desperate for something he wouldn’t allow himself, and the way the feeling of his lips took my breath away. Memories of him between my legs at that party, licking me as I tried desperately not to come, his breath and tongue hot against my sensitive skin, better than anything I’ve ever felt.
I can’t stop thinking about it as my fingers move faster between my soaked folds, my clit throbbing under my fingertips as I imagine going to his room, sinking to my knees without a word, and taking out his thick, pierced cock, hearing him moan despite himself as I take him into my mouth. I imagine him dragging me to my feet, groaning hoarsely that he can’t take anymore, pushing me back onto his bed as he reaches down to drag his fingers over my pussy, shoving them into my mouth so that I taste myself as he pushes himself inside of me, bigger than anything I’ve had so far, that piercing pressing against my g-spot as he starts to thrust, his dark eyes staring into mine, his angular face hovering over me as he takes what I’ve wanted to give him for so long. What he’s tried to fight for so long but can’t anymore.
I want him so fucking bad. I don’t know if it’s just because he’s resisted me or because he’s my type or some combination of things. Still, I gasp aloud as I thrust three fingers of my other hand into my drenched pussy, imagining him fucking me, telling me that he’ll claim me in every hole, his voice a dark, deep growl as he finishes inside of me, his cum flooding my pussy as he bucks and grinds against me.
“Jaxon!” I moan his name as I come too, my hips bucking against my hand as I lean against the shower wall, my head swimming from the heat as my body shudders, my knees buckling from the pleasure until I think I might fall down. I want him, I want him so fucking bad, and I let out another breathless, gasping moan as I press my forehead hard against the tiles, wishing with everything in me that he was with me right now, his strong arms around me, completing the trifecta.
I want him with me when I go fight. I know that for sure.
I just hope he’ll be willing to go.
Jaxon
Athena trying to get information by fighting isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever heard. She’s tough and smart, and not everyone in the underground will recognize her, just like she said. Once the gossip spreads that a former daughter of the Sons and the current Blackmoor pet is fighting in the underground ring, it’ll create a buzz that might bring some information to our ears. At the very least, it’ll make anyone who wants to hurt her think twice about trying it again.
I have no doubt that it’ll be Cayde or I who gets assigned to go with her—I can’t imagine Dean stepping one Oxford-shoed foot into the filthy warehouses and basements where those fights are held. Besides, Dean can be cruel and commanding, but I wouldn’t bet on him in a fight between him and one of the Sons or their associates.
Athena can hold her own; there’s no doubt in my mind about that. The question is how much longer I can stand being around her without losing my mind.
She’s fucked Dean and Cayde both. I can’t forget the sight of Cayde fucking her raw at that party. I can’t get the sound of her begging for his cock in her mouth and her pussy and her ass out of my head. The thought of it makes me furiously angry and painfully horny all at once, which is the most confusing fucking sensation I’ve ever had in my life. Even now, in bed with literal walls between us, I can’t stop thinking about standing near her at the foot of the stairs, smelling the scent of her skin, seeing her gorgeous face looking up at me, hearing her voice thanking me.
I’ve wanted her from the minute she showed up here, and I’ve known just as surely that I could never have her. That night out on the cliffside was a mistake, one that I tried to rectify by following orders, caning her in the study, and preventing Dean or Cayde from exploiting any closeness between us. I’d hoped that would be the end of whatever was brewing there. But it wasn’t. Athena still wants me, I can tell—I can see it in her face, and as more than just a quick fuck.
Andgod, I want her so fucking bad.
Lying in bed now, looking up at my ceiling in the dark, my cock is so hard it hurts. I’m trying not to touch it because if I do, I’ll jerk off thinking about her like I have so many times before. It feels like an addiction, one that’s all too reminiscent of how I once felt about Natalie, how I used to lie in my bed after coming home from school and think of all the things I’d do to her, all the ways I wanted to take her virginity while losing mine.
In the end, she was the one thattookmine, really. That encounter was all her. But I can’t think of her without it hurting too much; I can’t imagine her in that way any longer. I haven’t jerked off thinking about her in a long time, because all it does is remind me painfully that I’ll never really touch her again.
But Athena—
“Don’t do it,” I mutter to myself, balling my hands into fists. My cock has made a tent out of the sheets, leaving a wet spot there from the pre-cum seeping from the tip, leaving a trail on my stomach as it bobs and brushes against my rock-hard abs. I can’t come again thinking about her. I’ve done it too many times already. Most often in the gym after we train together, stroking myself feverishly in the locker room showers, imagining stripping her nude in the ring, fucking her on the mat, bending her over the ropes, running my tongue over her pussy to get her even wetter before I thrust myself all the way to the hilt.
“Stop.” I hiss the word, closing my eyes tightly, but Ican’tstop. I’ve been avoiding her since that night at the party, my mingled jealousy and fury and aching need making me a bomb on the verge of exploding, one that I didn’t dare bring near her. I know I hurt her by never going to check on her. Part of me is viciously glad about that, glad that she felt some of the same pain I felt that night, watching Cayde fuck her, wanting desperately to be the one between her leg. Knowing that I could have been and the fact that I’m not is only my fault and not hers. But still, I want to punish her for it.
Punish. Christ, the word makes all kinds of filthy images fill my head, visions of her splayed out over a sofa or a desk, ass striped red from a belt or a cane, pussy red and dripping from lashes, her body quivering with need. I heard them punishing her last night, heard her screams as she came again and again, until I had to duck into the nearest bathroom and stroke myself to a quick, needy orgasm over the sink, her cries of pleasure echoing in my head along with the sound of the flogger coming down on her ass.
I could have been a part of that. Would they have stopped me? Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know what Dean and Cayde’s new rules are, now that they’re apparently sharing. I know Athena spent the night in Cayde’s room that night. I heard her moaning again later that night, her orgasmic cries and Cayde’s grunts coming through walls that should have been thick enough to muffle them but weren’t. I don’t know if I’ve been shunned entirely from it because I’ve been avoiding all of this since the party, detaching myself more than ever.
Athena’s kidnapping was a brutal reminder that anyone I care for can be taken from me in an instant, that any woman who doesn’t fall in line with the town’s rules is inches away from pain and death at all times. Not having her at all is better than having her and then losing her, better than watching another woman die because she tried to fight the way things are here.
But that doesn’t change the fact that just thinking about her is enough to make me so painfully hard that—
“Fuck!” I hiss through my teeth, my hand going to my cock as it jerks again, throbbing so fiercely that I can’t stop myself. I need to come, I need to fucking come, and I don’t bother with lube, squeezing my shaft in a death grip as I jerk it hard and fast, wanting it to hurt, wanting to punish myself. I reach down with my other hand, gripping my balls, my hips jerking up into my fist as I imagine that the tight clutch around my dick is Athena’s ass, her facing away from me as I fuck my length into her tight hole, punishing her for torturing me this way, for making me watch her take Dean and Cayde in front of everyone, for being the only woman I’ve ever wanted as much as I once wanted the woman I swore I’d love for the rest of my life.
“Fuck you,” I growl, pumping faster, feeling my sensitive head swell in my fist, my balls tighten. I give in, reaching for the lube by my bed and pouring some into my hand because I want to imagine that it’s her throat, that the hot tight slide of my fist around my length is actually me choking her with my thick cock, telling her that she can’t come, not until she takes me in every possible way. That it’s her slick folds around me, my piercing bumping up against her clit, teasing her until she’s begging to come the way she did that night with my tongue on her pussy, and I want to deny her the way Dean did that night. I want to punish her as much as I want to punish myself. I imagine her begging, her full lips parted, me shoving my cock into her mouth again so that she tastes her pussy juices, smearing it across her lips.
I imagine bending her over my motorcycle, flipping up one of those little skirts she has in her closet, and fucking her in the ass in front of anyone who wants to walk by, coming hard in that tight little hole. Making her spread her legs, letting anyone who passes see my cum dripping out of her, marking her as mine. I want to make her mine, make it as clear to every fucking person on this campus that she belongs to me as much as Dean or Cayde, that there’s no part of her body that she can hold back from me just like she can’t from them.
“I’m going to come in that pretty little pussy,” I growl, gritting my teeth as I slam my hips up into my fist, fucking it as hard and fast as I want to fuck her. As I let out another biting, painful groan, I roll onto my stomach, fucking my cock into my hand as I imagine being behind her, feeling her arch against me, my whole body throbbing with pleasure as I thrust the head of my cock hard against the pillow beneath me. I feel the shudder down my spine as my balls tighten. A flood of cum starts to spurt out of my swollen, aching cock, soaking the pillowcase as I thrust into it hard, groaning Athena’s name muffled into the pillow next to me as I keep thrusting, trying to imagine that it’s her, that I’m finally getting to fuck her the way I can’t stop dreaming about.
The moment the orgasm fades, I feel hot shame wash over me, turning my face red as I let go of my cock, grabbing the lube and cum-soaked pillow and throwing it into the laundry. “What thefuck,” I groan under my breath, feeling as if I’m waking up from some kind of fugue. I’m fucking Jaxon King, one of the Blackmoor heirs, and maybe my family is the least of them, but I’m better than this. Better than fucking a pillow at two in the morning because I can’t get a girl out of my head.
“Get a fucking grip,” I mutter as I stride to the bathroom, suddenly feeling desperately in need of a shower. I’ve had more encounters with my own hand than actual women in the past year, but this feels like a particularly low moment.
But the thought of her lingers, even as I stand under scalding hot water and wash away the evidence of what I just did. And not just her body, or the sounds she makes when she comes, or the picture of her naked. What I think about now, with my desire satisfied for the moment, is her sweet voice as she thanked me for standing up for her, the determination in her face when she trains, the way she came back and started right where we left off even after everything she endured. It’s the way she’d looked at me across that diner booth, French fry held in her fingers, smiling and asking me questions that no one has bothered to ask me in a very, very long time.
And that, right there, is the problem. It’s not just lust. Icareabout Athena Saint, and I think she cares about me too.