But if I lost him, I couldn’t get those other clients back. I didn’t have a buffer. I had no fallback. I’d taken a chance with Richmond.
“Thank you for the advice,” I finally said. I took a deep breath—time to be the bigger man. “I wish you all the best.”
Richmond nodded and held out his hand. I shook it, and it made me feel sick to my stomach.
I held my head high walking out of the house. I climbed into the car with a straight face. Only when I drove out through the large cast iron gates and pulled into the road, did I allow myself to fall apart.
My eyes welled with tears so that the world around me blurred. I pulled onto the shoulder of the road and sobbed.
How was I going to make it through the month? The money that would come in for the room I’d done for Richmond would help me a little, but it wouldn’t be enough to cover everything for the rest of the month.
And Barnett wasn’t enough. He was a volatile client, and I had no idea how much work I still had with him.
Shit had officially hit the fan.
I didn’t want to go back to the office straight away. I didn’t want to have to sit down with the books and take Richmond off it—I didn’t want to have to tell Mia that it was going to be a shit month. She always backed me no matter what happened, and when something like this happened, I felt like a failure.
I dialed Sadie’s number.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m painting.” I heard music in the background, and I wished my life could be so simple sometimes, filled with color and music and the knowledge that I had my dad’s trust fund to fall back on if I ever got stuck.
“Can I come over?” I asked. “I've had a hell of a day.”
“Of course,” Sadie said. “I have wine.”
I laughed. “In the middle of the day?”
“We’re artists, Em. We get to do whatever we want.”
I laughed, and we ended the call. Maybe I would take her up on that. Right now, I was down enough to want to drown my sorrows with some drugstore wine.
When I knocked on Sadie’s door, she opened the door and music swallowed me whole. I followed her in, stepping into her world of color. She turned the music down.
“So, how about that wine?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I still have to go to the office later.”
“Dare to live, honey.”
We walked to the open-plan kitchen together, and Sadie poured herself a glass of wine.
“What’s eating you?” Sadie asked.
I burst out in tears.
“I didn’t mean to come here and cry,” I sniffled through my tears.
“Hey, my shoulder is here for you to cry on, Em,” Sadie said, setting her wine glass down and pulling me into a hug. “Even if it’s literally.” She was trying to joke to make light of my crying but I couldn’t stop the tears, and I hiccupped and sobbed on her shoulder. I felt stupid for letting it all out, but I couldn’t help myself. I just couldn’t reel it back in.
“I’m sorry,” I finally said, straightening up and wiping my tears with my sleeves.
“You really don’t have to be,” Sadie said and hooked my hair behind my ear. “What happened?”
“Tony Richmond canceled his contract with me,” I said, and my face crumpled again. I covered my face with my hands. “I canceled everything for him. And now that he has pulled out, I’m stuck.” I dropped my hands again and took a deep breath. I shook my head. “And I know I shouldn’t have put all my eggs in one basket. My mom will have a field day telling me ‘I told you so,’ but I just ... it was a calculated risk. And now it blew up in my face.”
“Don’t you dare think about what your mom will say about it. She’s in your head way too much.”