Oh, Jesus, I’ve been so foolish. I don’t care that my choice was taken away and I’ve been a puppet in this shit show. I should have known men like Thiago and El Diablo represent death.
Information was never going to be all they needed, but I was so desperate to save my father that I believed anything.
Now what?
My stomach churns with anxiety, and a chill of black silence like the kind you’d feel at a funeral surrounds me.
The slight tug on my leg has me looking down, and when I see Mia smiling up at me, holding her story book, I’m pulled out of the haze of terror.
“Don’t cry,” she bubbles. “Look, Mama.”
She puts down the book and points to the picture of a mother reading a book to her baby.
“You, Mama.” She claps, and my heart melts.
“Oh, Mia.” I kneel and cup her little face. “No, I’m not Mama. I’m Lucia.”
She looks confused. “But. Lucia loves me. Baby girl.”
My nerves tense, and the churn in my stomach turns into a tight knot.
As I look at her, all the memories we’ve created together come rushing to the forefront of my mind. Our first day together, our time spent outside right here by the lake, that night I told Estelle Mia was afraid of the dark and she needed a hug, the day at the beach when we were with Alejandro, every time I held her.
She still feels like mine, and there’s nothing I can tell her besides the truth.
“Yes, Lucia loves baby girl. She does.”
She claps and hugs me. “Love you,” she tells me, and I know in that moment what I have to do, what I have to sacrifice.
“I love you, too.”
With my heart full, I pick her up and walk back to the house with her. I make my way into the kitchen, where Delia and Giselle are.
They’re in the process of cleaning, but both stop when they see me.
“Are you okay?” Delia asks.
“Yes, is Alejandro home?”
“Yeah, he got back half an hour ago. He’s upstairs with Eric, though. Probably in his office or on the terrace.”
“I have to see him. It’s quite urgent. Can you watch Mia for me?”
“Of course. Is there anything I can do?”
“No, please just watch Mia.”
When she takes Mia, I kiss Mia on her forehead. I’m about to tell Alejandro what’s going on, so this might be the last time I hold her.
It might be goodbye.
She reaches out to me to take her, and this is the first time I’ll have to turn away.
I summon courage and walk, placing one foot in front of the other and focus.
I manage to get upstairs and to Alejandro’s office.
I hear his voice out on the terrace, though, through the doors to my left, which are ajar.