It wasn’t optional.
It was a rule.
I know the emotional tsunami that movie will unleash in both my boys, which is why I’m livid they watched it without saying a word and without letting us be there to discuss it with them.
“I’m sorry, Mom. It wasn’t planned. It was spontaneous, and you were out with Dad. I know you’ve been freaking out over the school thing, and I didn’t want to worry you.”
I sense there is more to it than this, but E is loyal to Bodhi to a fault, and I can’t ever find it in me to criticize him for it. Easton has looked out for Bodhi from the minute he came into our lives, and I know he will always have his back. I love how close they are. I love how much they support one another, and I hope this movie won’t do anything to damage their relationship because that would kill me.
“I didn’t want you to learn the truth like that.” Tears prick my eyes as I close the gap between us. I take his hands in mine. “Areyouokay?”
A shuddering sigh leaves his chest. “Honestly, Mom, I’m pissed.”
I nod, understanding why that would be the case.
“How could Reeve do that to you? How could he be so fucking stupid?”
A look of disgust crosses his face, and I hate seeing it there. But I won’t criticize my son for reacting naturally to the truth or tell him he is wrong to feel the things he is feeling. “He was young and naïve, and he made mistakes.”
“You told him she was a gold-digging slut! You warned him, and he refused to listen! I had him on this pedestal all my life, but he didn’t deserve it.”
“Don’t let what you’ve discovered erase the happy memories you have of him, Easton. You loved Reeve, and he loved you. Every interaction between you was born of love. It doesn’t excuse his actions, but he had a difficult childhood, and he felt abandoned his whole life. That made him vulnerable, but it doesn’t mean he was a bad person. He was a good man who made some poor life decisions, and those decisions hurt the people he loved.”
E shucks out of my hold and paces the room. “I don’t know how you can defend him. I don’t know how you could have taken him back after what he did to you.”
“I loved him, and I forgave him. He was a good husband and a good father.”
A bitter laugh rings out behind me, and I freeze as I turn around. My eyes meet Dillon’s over Bodhi’s shoulders. “He was a piece of shit, and my mother was a whore.” Bodhi sways on his feet, slurring his words, and I’m appalled and concerned in equal measure.
“You were drinking?” I move toward my troubled son with my heart jackhammering behind my rib cage. I’m not naïve. I was a teenager once too, and things are even more advanced nowadays. Kids rarely remain kids, and they grow up way too fast. Since the boys started attending parties a year ago, we have suspected they might be drinking.
We have talked to them extensively about alcohol and drugs and encouraged them to make the right choices. Neither of our sons have given us reason to actively worry about it.
Until now.
Bodhi is obnoxiously drunk and only remaining upright because Dillon is propping him up.
“Anyone would after watching that fucking movie.” Bodhi pins me with tortured blue eyes. “Why did you do that? Why the fuck did you make that movie?” Dillon grabs him when he lurches forward, stopping him from toppling to the ground. “That shit should have stayed buried with both my parents. No good comes from knowing that. I would rather you lied to me.”
Pain eviscerates me from the inside out, and I’m struggling to hold on to my emotions. But I do. Because this isn’t about me and my feelings. This is about my sons. They are both hurting, and it’s our job to support them.
“We won’t ever lie to you,” Dillon says, hauling Bodhi back against his chest. “Your mother wrote that book, and we made that movie, to set the record straight. As much as all of us might want to bury the truth, it’s impossible when we are celebrities and this all played out against the backdrop of Hollywood.”
“We didn’t want you learning about the past from the internet because so much of what was said was wrong,” I say, stepping closer to him. “We didn’t want you learning this without us there either. You should not have watched it without your father and me.”
“It doesn’t change the facts,” he slurs. “I’ve been passed around like a sack of worthless shit. You only took me in because you had no choice.”
“No, Bodhi.” Tears leak from my eyes as he attempts to push Dillon away, but he’s too inebriated, and Dillon is strong. “That is not the truth.”
“I don’t care,” he shouts, struggling in Dillon’s arms. “Get off me!”
“Bro.” East steps up alongside me. “Don’t do this. They’re only trying to help. We all are.”
Another bitter laugh tumbles from Bodhi’s chest. “I don’t need or want your fucking help!” he yells, fixing his brother with a hostile look. “I don’t fucking care! It’s all bullshit! No one wants me, but I don’t care. I don’t need anyone. People only let you down.” Dillon stumbles as Bodhi continues to struggle in his hold. “My whole life has been one big fat lie.”
“That’s not true.” Easton shakes his head. “I’m your brother. We’re your family. That’s not a lie.”
“You’re not my brother,” Bodhi snarls, looking like a stranger as he fixes Easton with an ugly look. “You’re my cousin.” He jabs his finger in my direction. “Like she’s not my mom and Dillon’s my uncle, not my dad.”