LOREN
Sax’s words echoed in my head as I watched Wells train Jude and Immy on more self-defense moves. The dogs sat at my feet, content to chew on their bones. I’d been in here for a while, but I’d been so lost in my thoughts, it had felt like mere seconds. Taking in the sweat on the kids' brows, I knew it had to be almost time for them to finish. Damn, I’d been zoned out for forty-five minutes at least.
Arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a chest, and I leaned back, peering up at my captor. When I saw it was Monroe, I smiled at him. “Hey.”
“You look like you have a lot on your mind, Lo.” His brows creased, concern radiating from him.
“Yeah.” I agreed, but I didn’t expand, knowing it wasn’t my story to tell, but it didn’t stop the words Sax had said from repeating in my mind.
I killed a man when I was ten years old.
My mother bargained with my life and then took her own.
I’m not a good man, Spitfire. You should run far away from me, but I hope you won’t because you make the darkness not feel so lonely. I need you, Loren.
I think what had taken me the most by surprise was the emotion I could hear in his voice, and feel in his body as he held my hand. Once he’d told me his story, and the fears he carried, he kissed me on the head and left me to process. I wanted to run after him even if I would’ve been dripping wet, but he asked me to stay, to relax, and give him time to talk to Atticus about something.
It was one of the hardest requests to follow in my entire life.
I could see his brokenness, but it was only the plea in his voice to give him space to manage his own emotions that had me staying put. Sax was a proud man, and he needed to feel strong at that moment. Being vulnerable had left him open, and I understood the need to create some space for a while.
And I could give him that, but it was all I would give him—a moment. I fully intended to seek him out later.
So right now, I was physically in the training room, but emotionally very far away. I needed to pull it together and be present with the ones I was with. When Immy landed a perfect jab to Well’s instep, she beamed, her pride in accomplishing something evident for all to see. She was beautifully confident at that moment, and I hoped she got to have plenty more of those moments in her life.
“Good. Next session, we’ll work on more resistant attackers. I’ve enlisted some of the guards to help.”
“Sweet. Please tell me one of them is Beau?” Immy prodded, a giggle escaping at the thought. Wells smiled, a protective glint in his eye I’d never seen before. It seemed like Wells had fallen under Imogen’s spell as well. It was hard not to when she turned those soulful eyes on you. You wanted to make the world magical for her.
“Dinner’s in thirty. You guys might want to hit the showers beforehand. You kind of reek.” I scrunched my nose up dramatically at the teens. Immy stuck her tongue out at me but headed off toward the hallway, Jude following behind her.
“Separately!” Wells shouted, causing both teens to blush. They didn’t acknowledge his comment, but I saw it. His reaction was almost as protective as Atticus.
Heart, melt.
Monroe pulled me up, lacing his fingers with mine. Wells met us, giving us a salacious look. He bent down, patting both of the dogs, giving them some love before he stood, taking us in.
“Now, my shower can definitely fit more than one.”
“I’ll pass this time. I need to talk with Atticus about something. You staying for dinner?” I asked Monroe, looking up at him.
“Of course.” He kissed my nose, letting me go. I briefly kissed Wells' cheek, surprising him before I strolled off. In my haste earlier, okay, in my lust, I’d forgotten to broach the topic with Atticus I’d been meaning to. Giving myself a time limit seemed like the best course of action, so I wouldn’t back out.
I didn’t know why I was so hesitant to ask the question that had been plaguing me, but I was.
Nodding to a few of the staff and guards, I twisted my hands as I walked, my steps soft as I made my way to his office. The door was open, the light drifting into the hallway. I could hear the shuffling of papers, but not much else seemed to be coming from the space. Sucking in a breath for the second time that day, I knocked on the door frame, peering in.
Sax and Atticus both looked up, and I stopped, surprised to find them both here. Sax looked at me, apprehension on his face. For some reason, his presence was comforting, and I relaxed, walking into the room. I made my way to him, taking the papers out of his hands and sitting them on the side table. He didn’t stop me, but he also didn’t move. It felt like he was on a cliff, waiting to see if I’d save him or push him over.
Squeezing his hand, I turned and sat in his lap. It only took him a second before he seemed to break free from his frozen state, wrapping me up in his thick arms. He nuzzled down into my neck, his lips pressing a slight kiss there. Smiling, I looked up, meeting Atticus’ eyes. He observed me as well, but there wasn’t any fear or apprehension. Just pure appreciation for what I was doing for his best friend. He smirked, lifting his eyebrow.
“Did you need something, Lore?”
“I do, actually.” I swallowed, the words becoming thick on my tongue. “I think I’m ready to move forward with obtaining what is mine. There’s just one thing.”
Atticus watched me, looking for any sign to indicate what I might say. Swallowing, I felt Sax’s arm tighten around me, and Atticus nodded, telling me they stood with me. It was what I needed.
“I’d like to meet with my father. I want to give him the chance to choose a different path for himself.”