Jude snorted, laughing at how I’d phrased it. “You’ve never asked me about my past much, but I didn’t grow up in the best of circumstances even before my parents died. I’m honestly not even sure if the story Cameron told me is true, and I wouldn’t put it past him to lie to try to save me. He was a good brother to me back then, always trying to protect me. But we lived on the streets, and I saw things that I’d hoped to be able to forget one day, but I don’t know. It’s something that stays with you no matter how much you try.”
We kept walking as he talked, moving around pedestrians, and I looped my arm with his, needing to comfort him in some way. As we stopped for the train we needed, he turned to look at me.
“Foster care wasn’t necessarily safe either. It’s why the center was so important to me. It gave me a place to be that wasn’t the streets or home. I don’t fault Cameron for falling into whatever mess he did. I’m sure he saw it as an opportunity to get himself out of the dark hole our life had become. I don’t want to follow him, though, and that’s where I’m glad I met you. My life has opened up to all these possibilities, and it feels like I have a real chance at changing the course I was on.”
I squeezed his arm, trying to hold the tears back. “I’m glad to hear that, Jude. It’s all I wanted for you.”
“But,” he started, smiling at me.
“Sorry, sorry, I interrupted your big speech.”
“Yes, yes you did.”
Laughing, I mimed, zipping my mouth.
“But that’s not the only, or the most important thing, Lor. You gave me a chance to be part of something I only read about in books. Being a misfit penguin with you is the dream I was too scared to have. In addition to that, I now get to meet and know all these genuine and fierce people. They might be a little scary to some, but I’ve looked darkness in the face, I’ve seen true evil, and no matter how many muscles Sax has, it doesn’t change who he is. Besides, if the Mascros were the actual villains, then I wouldn’t let you anywhere near them, and it would be no contest who my new daddy would be.”
Sputtering, I felt my face redden as I tried to make sense of what he had just said. The smirk on his face conveyed everything I needed to know. “Why, you little punk!” Laughing, he ducked out of my reach as he stepped onto the train and avoided my slap. Beau stepped on behind us, and I smiled, forgetting he was there. He dipped his head but stayed near the door as Jude, and I settled on the seats.
“Monroe, right?” I whispered conspiratorially. “Wait,” I turned, a realization forming in my mind. “Did you say something to one of the guys? What do you think about me dating all of them, anyway?” I rushed out.
Jude snorted, shaking his head at my flustered state. “I like them. They make you happy and can keep you safe. And yeah, I joked with Nicco that he was in third place after Roe and Sax, and only because the big man scared me,” he whispered.
“So that must be why Nicco referred to Wells as number three. Can they move up or down?”
“Oh definitely, it’s kind of become this little game I play with them to push their buttons. Nicco seems to be the most invested. I told him Wells moved up because of the dogs.”
“Do me a favor, don’t tell them I know. I can have some fun with this.” Laughing together, we colluded the rest of the train ride on how we could poke fun at the men. Beau leaned down and whispered something to Jude when we stepped off the train. He about choked on his laughter but nodded, doing a fist bump with him.
Oh man, I had a feeling this was going to land me in trouble, but I loved seeing Jude forming relationships with the people who had become important in my life as well.
As we made our way to campus, we stopped and took photos of things. Jude was a lot more advanced than me and talked about the composition, juxtaposition, and perspective. Me, on the other hand, I just took pictures of things I thought were pretty. I liked seeing him in his element, though, and I wanted to cultivate his passion, so he never lost it like I had been forced to.
“Oh wow, this is delicious. You gotta try this, Jude.” I gestured to the fried macaroni and cheese ball I’d just taken a bite out of. We were trying out some new food truck goodies that we’d scoped out, and so far, it was living up to the hype.
“Oh man, those are incredible. Here, try this.” Jude shoved over some street tacos, and I grabbed one, almost moaning as the flavor exploded on my tongue.
“I don’t know what’s my favorite. It’s all been so good. Beau, what do you think?”
I’d finally been able to convince him to sit with us and eat despite his insistence to stay back. “I think I vote for the BBQ. You can’t find chicken like that just anywhere.”
“Mmm, yeah, that’s true. I’m glad we just got a bunch of things. I’m finding I don’t like to choose.”
Jude snorted, but I ignored him. Well, I did for all of two seconds before I stuck my tongue out. Laughing, I looked down at the time and realized we needed to go.
“Shoot, Jude. Your appointment is soon. We need to head over there.”
The three of us quickly gathered our food and drinks, tossing the trash into the can as we waddled our way toward the stone building. Once inside, I nodded to Beau that I would head to the bathroom and for him to stay with Jude. He didn’t like it but finally agreed and waited outside the door to the room he was in.
Reliving myself, I sighed, zipping my pants and hurrying to the sink to wash my hands. The sight of my flushed cheeks, windblown hair, and bright eyes stopped me. Each time I looked into the mirror, it felt like I'd found a new version of myself. Squaring my shoulders, I tossed the paper towel into the trash and headed out the door, feeling strong and confident.
I nodded to Beau when I spotted him, headed in his direction. My phone began to ring, and I stopped to pull it free from my bag. When I saw the caller, I motioned I’d be outside. He scowled at me, but I’d seen scarier glances from Sax and Atticus, so he did nothing to thwart me from my mission.
Once I was free of the doors, I answered. “Cami, oh my God, girl. Are you okay?”
“Hey, Lor. It’s good to hear your voice,” she wheezed, and my heart broke for her.
“Where are you?”