LOREN
The breeze cooled my face, and I closed my eyes for a second as I breathed it in, enjoying being outside at this time of day on a Thursday. I was beginning to think spring was a booster shot for the soul. It came in, shook out the cobwebs, and made you want to get up and move, to be out in it and explore. There really was something significant about seasonal depression.
Though, to be fair, the past two years, I’d been all-season-depressed and was only now able to appreciate the beauty that was spring.
The feet approaching behind me broke my reverie, and I blinked open my eyes and turned to find Sax. I’d known he was there for a while, but I’d waited until he was ready to show himself.
“Hey,” I greeted, smiling at him.
He didn’t say anything, but moved closer to me, and I took his hand. Sax had been different the past few days, but I knew it wasn’t about me, or at least not in the way I’d assumed at first. He’d closed himself off a little, but not in our connection. Sax still touched me, kissed me, and watched me. I didn’t doubt his feelings for me. This was something to do with him and his past, and I’d tried to wait it out.
The therapist in me was struggling to not manage his feelings for him, to make this better however I could. But that was a trap I was trying not to fall into anymore. I couldn’t be his emotional life preserver, but I could be there with him as he tried to figure it out. It was just hard to remind myself of that. But if ten years of marriage had taught me anything, it was that I had a tendency to want to save people, or fix them, when they only needed me to hold their hand.
So, here I was, holding his hand and reminding him I was here.
Leaning into him, he wrapped his arm around me, and I laid my head on his chest. We stood like that for a while, just looking out at the park as Jude played with the dogs. It was carefree and peaceful.
We’d been back in the city for four days, and I missed the feeling we had at the estate. I didn’t necessarily miss the estate, that place had too many dark secrets, but I missed us all being together. It had been nice to feel like a unit, a real family, and I missed being able to walk into any room and find one of my guys or the kids. There had been so much laughter and companionship that now everything felt emptier.
“Spitfire, I was wondering if we could go on a date?”
Smiling, I nodded, tilting my head to look up, his tall frame making me crane my neck. “I’d like that a lot, Sax. When were you thinking?”
“Tonight?”
“It just so happens, I’m free.”
I felt him relax, and a rare smile graced his lips before he pulled me closer. Leaning down, he kissed my forehead, lingering there for a moment. I didn’t miss how unsure he’d sounded or how much I missed his confidence and dirty talk. Whatever he was dealing with was bigger than those things, and I knew Sax needed to do this in his own way to find his way back to who he was.
“When are you heading to the campus?” he asked.
Looking at my watch, I knew it was soon. “Probably in about ten minutes. We’re gonna grab lunch at a place near the campus, and he has an interview with someone at 1 pm. I should be home no later than 4 pm, though.”
Sax brushed my hair back, his thumb staying on my cheek. “I have some things to do today, so Beau will accompany you. I’ll pick you up at 6 pm.”
“Okay, I’ll be ready.”
“Wear something casual. Pants will be better for the bike.”
“Oh? I get to ride again?” He smiled and then dipped down to kiss my lips. It was brief, but I felt his emotions all the way down to my toes.
Sax pulled back, staring at me for a second before letting go, and turned to head around the building. I missed the warmth he’d brought me with his presence immediately. That man was dangerous, but in all the best ways.
Taking a deep breath, I slowed my racing heart and squelched my hormones as I walked closer to Jude. Fort saw me and barreled toward me. Wells had gone over a few commands for me to work with the dogs on, so I snapped my fingers and pointed where he was to stop. “Hup.” Fort’s legs scrambled under him as he tried to slow his momentum and right himself to follow. It wasn’t perfect, but it was an improvement, so I bent down, scratching his head.
“That’s a good boy.” His dog pants in my face told me he was pleased, and I gave a treat as I clipped his leash on.
“You ready?” I asked Jude as I stood. He already had Barkley leashed and was walking toward us.
“Yep.” He smiled wide at me, and we both headed back to the apartment to grab our things and drop the dogs off with Monroe. They weren’t great at being alone yet in a condo for an extended period of time, so thankfully, Monroe and Levi were going to spend some time with them. He also had a few days off to spend with Levi and deal with Brittni’s case. The beginning of the week had been heavy dealing with our families, so I was glad to have this time with Jude.
We walked back out of the condo within fifteen minutes, waving bye to George as we started our journey, cameras in tow.
“So, we have a little over an hour before we need to eat. Do you want to head to campus and shoot some film there, or just take shots as we go along?” I asked.
“Let’s keep it relaxed and just shoot things we see as we head there. You never know what might inspire you.”
“Spoken like a true artist.” I bumped my shoulder into him, smiling. Jude’s face blushed, and he ducked his head. “We haven’t gotten a chance to talk much since we got back to the condo about things, but how are you doing with… you know, everything?”