Nicco turned me inward, so all I could see was him. Taking my face between his hands, he soothed my temples with his thumbs, and I relaxed into him. “Beautiful, I get how hard this is for you. Having morals doesn’t make you weak. It makes you strong because you stand for something. Your job, it’s been the one consistent thing in your life this past year when everyone and everything abandoned you after your world fell apart. I know that it’s hard to trust this new reality, and I applaud you for trying to find a way to share this without hurting anyone. But…” he took a deep breath, “if you’re struggling this much, maybe you shouldn’t tell us.”
I heard Atticus disagree from behind, but I ignored him, focusing on the calming waves of Nicco’s eyes.
“But?” I asked, smiling.
“But,” he grinned, glad I’d asked. “Knowing what you do now about who we are and how this client acted, how do you know they weren’t a plant to gain information from you? Or an imposter, even? It’s hard to imagine anyone in our family acting so erratic as some ploy.”
“What if I’m wrong, though, and the information only causes more harm? What if I’m some Trojan horse they’re using? I’m hesitant because the thought of hurting any of you makes me want to tell you, but if it’s a trap, then am I playing into that? Do they expect me to tell you or to keep it hidden? I feel like I’m holding a loaded gun and anyway I shoot, I’m hitting someone.”
“Fair,” he nodded, “but—“
“Loren,” Immy cut in, pulling Nicco and my focus to her. “You once told me that the 'what if' game is a trap of your own making, one that has you going in circles, and you never get anywhere except dizzy.”
“You’re right.” I nodded, smiling at her, realizing it had been what I was doing.
“And,” she beamed, liking that she got to play therapist, “laying out all the information is the best way to get off the loop.”
“Again, you’re right.”
“Well, I had an awesome therapist.”
Sighing, I took her words to heart. I was trying to manage their emotions for them in this situation. Closing my eyes, I nodded, accepting what she was saying, knowing I had to trust I’d prepared her to deal with this, but most importantly, she wouldn’t be alone. Opening my eyes, I looked at Atticus again. Thankfully, he wasn’t angry with me, just patiently waiting for me to come to a decision myself. It made me respect him, thawing that block between us even more. It was practically non-existent at this point.
“Okay, remember that I don’t have all the facts, only what I was told. It could be a trap to send you all into a state of recklessness, hurt you to gain leverage, or even distract you. But I agree that I need to present all the information to you, and then you can make an informed decision instead of being bombarded with surprises.”
My hands shook as I looked between the two I felt would be most impacted by this news. “My client, his name… his name was Dayton Mascro, and I saw him. He’s here.”
It was silent for all of two seconds before utter chaos exploded around me.