“He’s so disorganized and all over the place. He comes in each session, and I feel like he’s somebody different. It’s always faked and forced, and there will be moments where I feel like the real person slips through. But it’s more that he’s trying to confuse me or make me think he’s crazy.”
“Wow, that sounds interesting. What’s he there for?”
“That’s one of the things he doesn’t ever talk about. He’s vague and will say he had some problems he wanted to work on whenever I ask him. He never really shares with me.”
“Sounds like maybe this person is more difficult than they need to be.”
Chuckling, I picked up my taco, taking a few more bites before answering again. “That’s definitely one way to look at it.”
After finishing, I picked up my trash, placing it in the bag on the floor. Nicco did the same and then turned his body more towards me, his arm going to the back of the couch as he rested his head on it. His leg was bent at the knee, laying across the cushion, and it made me want to turn into him and have him fix everything for me. Staying where I was, though, I twisted only a little, facing him.
“Is there somebody you could tell? Or, I don’t know how it works, but can you change therapists? I mean, if I don’t like who cuts my hair, then I go to somebody new.”
Chuckling at his cuteness, I agreed. His other hand had grabbed mine while he talked, playing with our fingers. His touch against my skin was electrifying, and I had to focus on what I wanted to say. Nicco was far too charming, confusing my thoughts and reservations.
“Yeah, I should do that. It would be better to staff it with someone I work with, even if only so they know what’s going on. He left today, and I felt really weird about how things had ended, and I’m just not sure what to do.”
“Aren’t there protocols in place for stuff like this?”
“Yeah,” I confirmed, smiling at how engaged he was. “I went through all the steps for risk assessment, and he didn’t present as ‘at risk’. But I also felt, like, maybe he was telling me what I wanted to hear.”
“Someone you could call and have them keep a closer eye on him?”
“No. He’s an adult, and his wife’s deceased, and apparently, he doesn’t talk to his son or daughter, so I don’t really know who else in his life I could call. He didn’t list an emergency contact.”
“If you’re that worried about him, could you go visit him at home?”
I thought about it but then shook my head no. “That crosses the line of what I feel comfortable doing.”
“Fair, but I wonder if you’re this worried if maybe you should call the cops and have them check?”
“I don’t know. Maybe?” I shrugged. “I’m not really sure how I feel about it or how to gauge it. Do I only feel this way because he weirds me out, or is there something really there? I think that’s what’s bothering me the most, that I can’t figure out the puzzle.”
“I’m sorry, Beautiful. If I know anything, though, it’s that you won’t give up, and this person has the best therapist looking out for them.”
“Thanks,” I smiled. Shaking my body, I physically tried to dispel the weirdness that had been coating me. “Well, anyway, let’s talk about something else because I’m getting into my head more about this, and I want to shake it off for the rest of the day.”
“Of course. So, I heard you had fun at the house yesterday?”
“Yeah, I did, or we did,” I confirmed. “I was surprised when we got invited after the whole ordeal. It’s a gorgeous home, though. I still can’t believe Atticus owns the whole thing.”
“Mas’ place is pretty awesome. If I didn’t like my own space so much, I’d be jealous. It’s too busy there for me. Living at the estate the past few months almost drove me insane on top of missing you.”
“Yeah?”
“I wish I could show you the inside of my mind and how many times I thought of you and how angry I was.” He scooted closer and cupped my cheek. I’d laid my head on the side of the couch, his palm following me. I found myself falling into his eyes. Clearing my throat, I lifted my head, his hand falling away.
“It was beautiful. He has a floor for everything. I don’t even know what someone would do with that much space. And that backyard, I was impressed,” I rambled. “The back area was incredible, and we got to play out there with Fort.”
“Oh, yeah! You got to play with the dog. Now, I’m jealous I didn’t come over.”
“You’ll have to come next time. Wells is bringing Fort with him each time. He hopes I’ll be able to help train him, but I don’t think I’m very good at it,” I admitted, laughing. “I mostly just patted the dog and let him lick my face. But it was fun. Jude and Immy seemed to enjoy themselves as well.”
“That’s incredible. Immy deserves some fun.”
Nodding, I found myself relaxing again; the conversation having returned easily between us. “Atticus wants me to meet with her and talk again. It’ll be informal, but I’m happy to be back in her life.”
“Really? Well, go, Mas. I didn’t know my cousin had it in him. I’m glad, though. I know she’s missed you. That was one of the hardest things about the lockdown, not being able to talk to you or Jude. It gave us something we both could commiserate with each other over.” He paused, and I realized his fingers were still looped with mine, his thumb tracing over the top one. “I warred with myself because, at the same time, I understood the reasoning and wanted to keep you safe.”