Walking into my condo building, I sent a quick text to Jude to let him know I was home and to remind him to pick up his suit on his way back. He’d spent the night with his friend, Dean, under the agreement he wouldn’t stay up all night and would be home by early afternoon to get ready for the wedding. I’d almost canceled after the ordeal with my mother and Brian, but it wasn’t my cousin’s fault they were such horrible people.
I would indeed hide out at the dessert table like I’d promised Jude, though, and leave as soon as socially acceptable. No sense in punishing myself just to be cordial. Nodding at George, I made my way to the elevator when a voice stopped me.
“Beautiful.”
My feet quit moving, but my heart took off at a rapid speed, my breath catching. I stood stunned in the middle of the lobby, not daring to look or turn toward him. I didn’t know what to think or feel. The million different times I’d imagined him finding me, it hadn’t been like this. Peeking out of the corner of my eye, I caught a brief glimpse of him, and my knees went weak.
Shit. This wasn’t good.
When Sax had bated me last night, my anger had surged and then quickly been replaced with lust for the man. We shared a vulnerable moment, and I felt him lower his walls to me. I felt his remorse and knew he meant it.
When all of the men who’d come into my life had pulled away, I’d understood in a way, logically at least.
Monroe had to focus on Levi. It hurt, but it was the right choice for him, even if I’d wanted to be part of it. It wasn’t for me to decide.
Sax and Atticus, I missed seeing them in my office and was probably the most upset about losing Immy, but again, with Sax, we’d kissed once, gone to a disastrous dinner, and flirted a lot. The underlying tension had been there, but we hadn’t popped the seal yet to what we could be, and Atticus was a whole other mystery within itself. He confused and interested me, but we were nothing to one another.
Wells, he’d always been hit or miss, and while the verbal sparring was lacking, I hadn’t been emotionally attached to him yet either. We still had a long way to go if anything was going to develop past friends, but I hoped we could be that. The lust came easy, but I wanted it to mean more.
But Nicco… He’d destroyed me in a way Brian never had.
The anger surfacing last night only reminded me how much it had hurt.
“Everything alright, Mrs. Carter?” George asked from the front desk, my sudden frozen state, an uncommon sight in the lobby. It was the reset I needed as I glanced at him and nodded.
“Yes, thank you.”
Spinning in the other direction, I focused on his eyes, too scared of what I’d do if I took his whole body in. As it was, his eyes were difficult enough to gaze into. Grey-blue eyes swirled with emotion, and I wanted to cave.
But I wouldn’t.
If there was anything good that could be gleaned from the situation with Barkley, it was I had to be stronger and stand up for the things I wanted. It wasn’t enough to wait for others to decide whether or not I was worthy. I had to demand it.
“Nicco.”
His face fell a little, and I hated how gutted it made me. I didn’t want to hurt him. He’d been the first one to show me I could be the person I was becoming. And maybe if he’d approached me a week ago before I’d talked with Monroe, Wells, and Sax, I would’ve accepted him back with open arms. But each of those men had reminded me of what I was worth and deserved. I didn’t know if I could risk it anymore with Nicco.
“Can we talk?”
“I don’t have anything to say to you that I haven’t left on your voicemail or the texts I sent, but if you feel the need to say something, then I’m all ears.”
I turned fully toward him, crossing my arms. When he started to approach me, I realized I didn’t want to have this conversation in the lobby but didn’t want to invite him up, afraid I’d cave easier.
“Let’s go to the cafe across the street. You can at least buy me a coffee.”
“Of course, yes, thank you.” He sighed, looking relieved.
Rolling my eyes, I spun around and stalked out of the place. That was until I remembered what I was wearing. A borrowed shirt and pants, presumably of Atticus’. Shit, I couldn’t go out like this. It was fine for the cab ride and then walking into my building, but not around others. I could feel him behind me, his body heat pressing into my back, and I pivoted quickly to turn in the other direction.
“Actually, I need to change, and I’m on a schedule, so I guess you can come upstairs, but don’t take it to mean anything else.”
“Understood.”
I hit the button, and thankfully it didn’t make us wait long as the doors opened, a few people exiting. Pushing the button for my floor, I leaned against the wall, arms crossed, as I stared off with him, taking him in fully.
He looked good, like really good, and I hated him a little for it.
His hair was pushed back, freshly shaven on the sides, the blue of his grey-blue eyes sparkled under his dark lashes, and his muscles even looked a little bigger. Nicco wore a simple black t-shirt partially tucked in one side with his belt showing, black jeans with strategic holes on the knees, and black boots. He had a leather strap around his wrist and a few silver rings on his inked fingers. It was simple, and yet he was drool-worthy.