Tossing the third outfit on the floor, I admitted defeat. Huffing in exasperation, I fell onto the bed in a sea of shirts and pants. I had no clue what people wore on dates now or what was even considered sexy. The dress I'd worn to the club the first time was the only thing I had like that in my closet. The second time had been Nat's suggestion on what I was already wearing. Ugh, this was pointless.
Sitting up on the edge of my bed in my bra and matching underwear, I pulled out my phone and debated canceling on Nicco. It was like he had a sixth sense to my emotions because right as I opened my texts up to send one, he messaged me.
StudMuffin: Hey, beautiful. I can't wait to see you later.
ME: Full disclosure, I'm freaking out.
StudMuffin: What's got you scared? Is it me?
ME: No, you're the one thing I'm not scared about. It's just all the other stuff.
StudMuffin:Well, I'm glad to hear you're not fearful of me. What is the other stuff? Let's find a solution together.
ME: That's some good therapist shit there you just did.
StudMuffin:Well, maybe you've rubbed off on me. Speaking of…
ME:Yeah?
StudMuffin:I was going to go all dirty sex-crazed but thought I better not.
ME:I don't mind. I kind… of like it. It helps me know how you feel, actually.
StudMuffin:Oh, beautiful, I can't wait to feel you again.
ME:Why is that making me feel all hot and bothered?
StudMuffin:Because it's hot. So tell me, beautiful, what is all this other stuff?
ME:Ugh, your persistence is both annoying and charming.
StudMuffin:It is one of my finer qualities. So…?
ME: I have no idea what to wear or how even to date. I was 16 last time. I'm so out of my comfort zone.
StudMuffin:Solution 1, text Nat. She can help. Solution 2, there isn't a hard or fast rule to dating. Do what you're comfortable with, and if you don't know what that is, then we'll explore that together. In my opinion, open communication is the key, and I think we're finding our sweet spot with that.
ME: Thank you. Those are helpful. I will text Nat. I'm glad my first date after my divorce is with you.
StudMuffin: Me too, beautiful. Me too. I'll see you in a few hours.
Leaning back, I did feel better after my conversation with Nicco. He had an uncanny ability to make me feel at ease and courageous. I'd probably do just about anything he suggested.
Taking a deep breath, I took a chance and texted Nat. I didn't have girlfriends outside my coworkers. All of my friends prior had been married couples, and after the divorce, they all took sides. Despite Brian cheating, I didn't have it in me to disclose his transgressions. So all they saw was my downward spiral into depression.
No one wanted to be around depressed people, so it was easier for them all to side with him and leave me to wallow. I never really got along with those women anyway. They were all focused on status, their figure, and gossip. If I thought about it, I'd been bored with their friendships for years.
ME:Hey girl, weird question, but are you busy at the moment? I could use a favor.
Nat:I'm not doing anything. What's up? Need me to pick you up somewhere?
ME:No, actually, this is more of a personal request.
Nat: Well, I'm even more available now! Spill girl.
ME: Nicco asked me on a date, and I have no clue what to wear. I'm freaking out.
Nat: Say no more. I'll be there in 10 mins. I'm already on your side of town.