"If I'm to call you Loren, then you should call me Atticus."
"Fair," I nodded, "but I kind of already did."
For some reason, my mouth had decided to be flirtatious, causing him to smirk at my answer, sending tingles from my belly to my core.
"Ah, so it seems you have."
"So…" I trailed off, unsure where to go from there. The two teens watched a video on Imogen's phones, effectively ignoring us.
"I'm curious, spitfire," drawled the hard rock man next to me, "have you thought any more of the proposition I gave you last time I was in your office?"
His question was asked innocently, but the undeniable heat in his eyes belied otherwise. Sax pressed his leg more firmly into me, causing me to shift closer to the other man. They were both wearing suits, and for some reason, the sight of them dressed so well sitting on a picnic bench got to me, and I broke out into hysterical laughter.
Everyone stopped and turned to me, unsure what I was laughing at. By the time I was able to get my giggles under control, I had tears in my eyes. Wiping them, my uncharacteristic laughter had lightened the mood, and we all delved into a conversation on food and what Jude needed to try next.
Despite some intense and awkward moments, our little impromptu picnic downtown became an epic affair. Jude and Imogen exchanged numbers, much to Atticus' disapproving glare and Sax's scrutiny, but I thought it was a perfect idea and that maybe these two could find a new connection in one another.
I didn't miss the smile on Imogen's lips, or the heated look Sax left me with, but most confusing was the look on Atticus' face. It was a mix of desire and contempt, almost as if he was angry he found me attractive? But why would he be interested in me? I was probably reading him wrong. Shaking my head to dislodge the thoughts, I reminded myself it wasn't a thought I could entertain either way. Focusing back on the teen next to me, we enjoyed our walk as we made our way back to the center.
"Hope that was okay, the meal. I didn't know what to say when they asked about our relationship either. What would you be comfortable with me saying?" I finally asked.
"Oh, it was the best afternoon I've had. Thank you, Loren," Jude offered, a warm smile lighting up his whole face. He looked like a different kid at that moment. "And I don't know, I guess it depends on what you're comfortable with, I mean?" he awkwardly chuckled.
"How about we just keep it simple? We're Jude and Loren, Loren and Jude. It doesn't need a label."
"That sounds perfect to me." He grinned, making me feel like I was finally getting something right this year. Granted, it was still the beginning of the year, but the concept still counted when the past year had felt like a million.
Jude and I exchanged numbers and made tentative plans to go out again soon. He left me with his wave, and I felt freer as I walked back to the train. Catching my reflection in the window as I walked by, I realized I had a real smile on my face. Filing that away, I relished in the knowledge that I'd done something good for myself and how great that made me feel for once.
I didn't hate the person I was today. In fact, I think I was starting to like this new version of myself just a little. It was a start, and that was something I could accept.