I suck my lip and nod.
“I’m not avoiding you after what happened this afternoon.”
Or after what happened last night. “It was nothing.”
“Georgiana—”
“It’s okay, I’ll be fine. I’m used to being alone, you know.” All my life. One more night hardly counts, even if the only thing I want is to pull him into my arms and hold him.
He steps closer to me and with a finger, forces my chin up to look into his eyes. “What did Cash say to make you cry?”
“Nothing.” If I tell him now what Cash told me, my composure will crack, and I will sob uncontrollably for everything Raiden has gone through. It’s hardly the moment. I can’t be this weak. Not when he is so strong.
“We need to talk at some point,” he whispers.
“To be honest, I’d rather not.”
“Okay. I-I understand. D-Don’t wait up for me then.”
“I won’t,” I whisper, but it’s a lie. I will wait up for him, because Raiden is going to need someone to hold on to when he comes home tonight.
24
RAIDEN
I drive past Uncle Bill and Aunt May’s house, not surprised that a light still shines from the kitchen. They left Hunter’s house hours ago, but for Aunt May, this one is hard too, since the accident took her only sister and catapulted four orphaned kids into her lap. To think Mom and Dad were on their way to see Aunt May and Uncle Bill’s newborn with me and two of my brothers in the back seat. We were supposed to spend the day at the fair, but just as life arrived, it got torn away. Little Lucy Brodie was the ring of light in a time of a full, seemingly never-ending solar eclipse.
I park outside the boathouse and lean back in the driver’s seat, closing my eyes. I drove here with the windows down, wanting the quiet and the cool night air to soothe my soul on the ride home, but it’s never dead quiet here. If you’re lucky, you’ll hear loons call, but now there’s only the hoot of an owl and the notes of a thousand crickets as they hum their mid-summer night hymn.
Sleep isn’t going to come easy, but tomorrow is going to be a long day, and with Hunter likely man-down until eleven, I’ll have to step in and help out. I get out of the truck and walk into the dark boathouse, wanting nothing more than to fall into bed and forget. With the night terror behind me now, I should sleep easier; something to help me drift away into sweet oblivion would have been handy, but I gave up on that crap too.
The floorboards creak under my weight, but I get to the bathroom without anything stirring in the house. The last thing I want is to wake Georgiana. If she wakes up now, she might not be able to fall asleep again and from the dark circles under her eyes this morning, I doubt she fell asleep again last night after my episode. I wash up and then hover between the bedroom doors. Every bone in my body begs to go to her and let her wrap me in her arms, but she wouldn’t care for that. Not after the momentous mess I made this afternoon.
Nobody can understand the unexpectedly powerful feelings I’ve developed over the past weeks for her. Hunter, Cash and everybody. Did I really pull all that shit out of a hat to protect myself? Georgiana is sure as hell not going to want to have anything to do with me going forward. Even though those words were meant to buy me time and protect my heart, I might have managed to break hers instead.
I drag my hands over my face and turn to my own room, quietly closing the door behind me. My eyes adjust to the dark and I stall, as the moonlight streams through a gap in the curtains and I see Georgiana’s shape under the comforter.
For the first time tonight, emotion overwhelms me. It isn’t the heartache of loss or the anxiety that holds its hand that pulses through me: it’s love.
She knew. She understood. She waited.
Despite not letting her in on my trigger last night, despite this afternoon and the way I bulldozed everything with a few choice words, here she was, not waiting up, yet being here for me. She said she didn’t want to talk, but this speaks more than a thousand words.
I wish I could be strong. I wish I could walk away from her, but despite the inevitable pain I’ll only be delaying, I can’t leave. I need her. I don’t need much, only for her to be here as she is.
I strip to my boxers and lift the comforter to slip in beside her. Her warmth drifts over my naked chest and as I edge closer to her, she stirs.
“Raiden?” Her hand reaches for me, and I clasp it close, pressing a kiss to her fingers before settling it on my heart.
“Shh, I’m here now.”
She snuggles closer, her fingers splaying over my pecs and to my neck in a tender caress as she presses her body against mine, black satin soft against my skin.
I always suspected Georgiana slept in something so sinfully sexy and now my hand registers the feel of her beneath the fabric as it didn’t last night when she came to me and I touched her without thinking. She lifts her head onto my shoulder and my fingertips slide along her lower back as I wrap my arm around her.
“What time is it?” she murmurs.
“Three thirty.”