“I’m not staying here.”
Gillie and Nua exchanged a look. It was Gillie who spoke.
“Where do you want to go, lad?” he asked calmly, eyes bright over the rim of his mug.
I clenched my jaw. “Unseelie.”
Gillie went still, his gaze sliding over to Nua, who was staring at me.
“Why?”
“I’m going to kill her. All of them.” I tried to keep my voice level, but it shook with anger.
They exchanged another look.
“You… you can’t kill the Carlin, Ash,” Nua said hesitantly. “No one can.”
“I’m going to try.”
Gillie cleared his throat. “While you’re still healing? With one arm?”
I gritted my teeth so hard I thought they would crack. “Yes, with one fucking arm. I’ll find a way. I don’t care.”
Nua swallowed, setting down his mug. “Ash—”
“You’ll get yourself killed, lad,” Gillie said steadily.
“I don’t care,” I repeated.
“Ash, please.” Nua reached over and grasped my hand, but I jerked it away quickly and hid it under the table. “We understand you’re in shock, and in pain, and—But give yourself time to heal, at least, before you… go anywhere.”
His eyes were big and sad when I glanced at him, so I looked away again quickly, not wanting to be manipulated.
“Please believe me when I say that we only want to help you. To keep you safe. It was why we were leaving you the notes. Telling you to come here, into the forest. I understand that you won’t trust us at first, but I’m pleading with you to just give us time. Give yourself time to heal. To rest.”
“We can give you a weapon if you want,” Gillie added easily, leaning back in his chair. “If it will help you feel safer.” His silver eyes hardened as he looked at me. “But if you try and hurt Nua, Iwillstop you. Do you understand?”
I swallowed and looked away. I didn’t want to hurt them. I just didn’t trust them.
“I want a weapon,” I muttered.
Gillie rose from the table. “Then I’ll give you one. But first, you’ll give me your word that you won’t try and hurt Nua.”
Suspicion rose, making me narrow my eyes at him. “Like a vow? You’re trying to trap me in a promise so I can’t fight back?”
“No,” he said calmly. “Not a vow. Not an oath, like the one on your chest. Just your word. I’m trusting you, lad.”
I stilled, then looked down at my chest. What oath? I couldn’t remember making any oaths or vows to anyone.
Lifting my head, I looked Gillie directly in the eyes. “I don’t want to hurt either of you. I give you my word I won’t try and hurt Nua. Or you. Unless one of you tries to hurt me first,” I tacked on.
To my surprise, Gillie burst out laughing. “So fae already. Nothing wrong with being careful with your words. I’ll go get you something.”
I felt incredibly tense and awkward when he left the room, and it was just Nua and me sitting at the table in silence.
My brother.
“I meant it,” I found myself muttering, looking down at the table. “I don’t want to hurt either of you. I just want to kill the Carlin and her sons for what they did to my parents.”