Chapter Four
Ash
The water was a murky brown by the time I managed to scrub all the blood off me, which was made even more awkward because I tried to keep my bandage dry. I realised that while my blood was still dark red, like normal human blood, it shimmered gold and green like an oil slick on the surface of the water. I looked away quickly, not wanting to think about it.
Boiling rage washed over me yet again as I struggled out of the tub. I stood in front of the fire to dry off, breathing hard with impotent fury that I could do nothing about. I couldn’t kill the Carlin and her sons with only one fucking arm. I didn’t even know how to use a sword or a blade of any kind.
I remembered that ridiculous “battle” on the Winter Solstice. When Caom had viciously put me forward to be the oak king because I wouldn’t fuck him. I’d fought with a sword then, but it hadn’t been a real fight. I couldn’t remember the fae I’d gone up against—the holly king—but I remembered the clash of metal before pushing them back onto the ground to take my “win”.
A bewildering flood of heat rushed through me, one that had nothing to do with the fire. My body felt foreign. Not like mine. I stared down at my nude frame, at the golden skin that was so inhuman. My heart jolted when I saw a black X tattooed on the centre of my chest.
What? I lifted my one remaining hand and traced it with a trembling finger. What was that? Did all Folk have this? Or did I get it when I shed my mortal skin? I’d never gotten a tattoo.
Yet another thing that felt foreign in this new body. The thought made me unspeakably angry. In some ways, I didn’tfeeldifferent, but at the same time, it felt like I was wearing a stranger’s skin.
I dressed as quickly as I could with one arm, not wanting to look at myself anymore. I managed to struggle into the dark brown leather trousers and get the socks and boots on, but I couldn’t tie them up. And I couldn’t lace my trousers or button my shirt.
Humiliation made my skin hot. I felt useless. Even more useless than I had sitting in that cottage waiting to see what the Carlin would do to me.
Refusing to let myself wallow, I stood up from the little chair and fumbled with the rope lock on the door. As I pulled it open, I heard Gillie and Nua talking quietly in the kitchen. I stopped dead, feeling a tiny flash of guilt for eavesdropping, but—whatever. They were Folk.
“Did you see the oath etched into his chest?” Gillie was murmuring. “I wonder what it is.”
“I don’t know.” Nua sounded weary and tense. “Something else happened while he was in the Carlin’s court. Do you think it has something to do with Prince Lonan? Why he can’t remember him?”
Who the fuck was Prince Lonan? What fucking oath? I glanced down, freezing in shock when I saw a black X tattooed on the centre of my chest. What? What was that? Panic made me look away from it quickly. I gritted my teeth, not liking them talking about me behind my back.
“I need you to button my shirt,” I barked, marching into the kitchen and keeping my eyes averted. My face burned, and I knew I was being rude, but I hated this. I hated all of it. At least I was feeling steadier on my feet now, slowly getting used to my new lopsided frame.
There was a tiny beat of silence before Nua leapt forward.
“Of course.” He hesitated, clearing his throat. “Let me—I’ll lace up your trousers too. And your boots.”
My face got even hotter, the burn travelling down my throat. Nua swiftly laced my trousers and buttoned up my shirt with brisk, impersonal fingers, before bending down to tie up the laces on my boots.
Gillie had busied himself at the other end of the kitchen while he was doing it, but when Nua straightened up, he turned to give me a smile.
“Feeling better, lad?” He grabbed a bowl from one of the shelves and brought it over. “Here, chew on a bit of this.”
“What is it?” I said cautiously as I stared into the bowl, even though I could see it was just mint.
“Mint leaves,” Gillie said cheerfully. “Rub them on your teeth first. I don’t know what you used in the cottage, but we have proper tooth powder here. I’ll make you a toothbrush, but this’ll do for now.”
I warily picked out a few mint leaves and sniffed them before doing as he said. My mouth felt better after I’d chewed them, and when Nua passed me the same cup of water as before, I gulped it down gratefully.
“Now, I would offer you tea to get rid of the last of that whisky fog,” Gillie said, ladling something from the cauldron over the fire into a mug. “But I understand if you’d rather stick to water for now. It’s here if you want it.”
He passed Nua the mug and filled another for himself. I stood there awkwardly, the left sleeve of my shirt empty and flapping with even the smallest movement. I watched as Nua and Gillie sat down at the table and sipped their tea.
Nua smiled at me. “Do you want to sit down?”
Not knowing what else to do, I slowly crossed the room and thumped down into an empty chair. My eyes darted to the cauldron. I was thirsty, despite the water I’d just drunk. A headache still pounded behind my eyes, my brain too dehydrated from the whisky.
But I didn’t say anything. Even though Nua and Gillie were sipping the tea—even though I was fae now, so I’d react to it just like they did—I said nothing. I didn’t want to take anything else from them. I didn’t want to owe them anything.
After a few minutes of silence, Nua cleared his throat.
“After this, I can show you around,” he said, giving me another uncertain smile. “It will take a while for you to get settled, but—”