My breathing is ragged as I scrub at my skin until every inch of me is red raw.
Despite the pain that makes every single one of my movements hard work, I tug on some sweats and a t-shirt the second I’m in my bedroom and head for the gym.
It’s that or I’m going to find myself in Lovell, gunning for a fight with a Wolf or two.
* * *
My phone lit up every few minutes while I was in the gym, but I ignored every single message and missed call.
There was only one person I wanted to talk to, and I had a feeling that her name was never going to flash up on my screen.
I just turn the lights out after climbing into bed, every single muscle in my body screaming in pain, when my phone illuminates the room once more.
Lifting it up, I glance at the screen, expecting it to be another message from Seb. I almost drop the thing when I discover I’m wrong.
Very wrong.
Just seeing her name there once more makes all the air rush from my lungs.
She hasn’t turned this phone on since I took it from her, preferring to ignore all the messages and voicemails I left her after she disappeared.
Quickly unlocking it, I open her message, not giving a fuck that it’ll show as read almost immediately. I’m over pretending that I’m not sitting here thinking about her.
Hellcat: Theo?
My heart pounds as I stare at those four little letters.
It’s just my name. It means nothing. She could be about to say anything, but they still give me a little hope.
At least I know she’s okay.
Theo: Yeah.
I feel like a fucking preteen talking to a girl for the first time. It’s pathetic. But that’s what she does to me. It’s what she reduces me to. She always has. I just always fought it, hoping that I could push past it. Put her behind me. Forget about her.
A laugh falls from my lips as I think about how naïve I was back then.
I had no clue of the kind of power she had over me.
Hell, I still don’t truly know the depth of it, but I’m starting to think it’s pretty fucking deep.
The dots keep bouncing, making me wonder if she’s writing a fucking essay. So when the message does finally pop up, my eyes widen in shock at its simplicity.
Hellcat: I’m sorry.
“Shit,” I breathe, my phone continuing to shake in my grip as the weight of those two words presses down on my shoulders.
I sit there for so long, staring, that the screen goes dark.
What the hell do I say to that?
How could I even begin to put into a message how I’ve felt these past few weeks?
Theo: Me too, babe. Me too.
I cringe when I read the words back. But what can I say?
I’ve told so many lies, hurt her in too many ways. Nothing I can tell her now is going to make her forgive me, allow her to forget everything that’s gone before.