She loved to rile my mother up, even as my Dad groaned, "Mom."
"What? Sex is a spiritual act. She should know what she wants from a man if she's ever going to settle down and teach her husband one day," my grandmother inserted with an innocent smile.
My mom's Catholic upbringing begged to differ. "Can we not?" I groaned. "My sex life, or lack of one, is none of anybody's business."
Mom swallowed but nodded, looking at me with expectations in her eyes. The good daughter didn't have sex with boys at school or men she met in Spain. The good daughter didn't drink or do drugs or dance in no clothing.
The weight of those restrictions came down on me, pushing me further into the place where I knew I had to belong.
Because the good daughter was the only one she had left.
* * *
Iwas mostly silent in the backseat while Chloe sat up front with her mom, who chewed her bottom lip so hard I wondered if there would be anything left when we came home. No parent wanted to see their barely legal daughter go to Europe without adult supervision.
Glancing out the window as we drove, I tried to quell the nerves in my stomach. I'd never left Chicago. What business did I have going to Ibiza? I didn't even know who I was without my responsibilities to my family to dictate my every action.
I steeled my spine, sitting up straighter as I exhaled. My grandmother was right. The trip was my one opportunity to forget about who I had to be at home. It was the only chance I'd have before immersing myself in the college experience and my studies, I'd be a fool not to take it.
I didn't know what that meant for me. If I'd lose my virginity to a Spanish stranger, drink for the first time, or go to a nude beach and try to let go of the insecurity that I was unattractive. Boys were never interested in me. Not the way they were Odina.
Every time I thought maybe, just maybe, one would ask me on a date, it never came. Given that the last boy who'd seemed to want to touch me had overdosed on heroin two weeks after, I wondered if I was cursed. Maybe I'd finally find out.
Chloe's mom dropped us at the airport, sharing an excited hug with her daughter before she confirmed we had everything out of the van and went back to get in the vehicle.
Hugo and his brothers were already waiting at the curb with their bags. Hugo looked at my suitcase like he wanted to carry it for me, but his own bags limited that ability. He sighed when I pulled the handle up and wheeled it toward the machines to print our tickets. Flipping him off only made the twisted bastard laugh.
"Are you two going to bicker the entire flight to Spain?" Chloe asked as she gave me a saccharine smile and stepped up to a kiosk to print her ticket.
"Probably," Gabriel said with a bright smile.
I stuck my tongue out at the middle Cortes brother, ignoring the scowl Joaquin gave him and the sharp elbow to his side. I didn't understand the eldest of the three in any way. His demeanor was always off, like his brothers were foolish for not treating me as if I was made of glass and required kid gloves.
The one time I'd suggested spending my birthday money on a kickboxing lesson, he'd practically bugged his eyes out of his head. Girls like me didn't need to worry about things like that, according to him.
Whatever the fuck that meant.
"Hush," I said as I stepped up to the next available kiosk to print my own ticket.
"Sweet! I got upgraded to first class!" Chloe said with a bright grin. My heart dropped into my throat, realizing I'd probably not get to sit with her on the plane. The moment I logged into my reservation, the same words stared back at me.
"I did too," I whispered, glancing over at Hugo when he held up his own First-Class ticket. "That's so weird," I said.
"Nah." Hugo shrugged it off as his brothers printed their tickets. "It happens a lot. It's hard to fill up first class since it’s a lot more expensive for what is basically just more leg room. So they randomly upgrade people if they get last-minute economy bookings when the flight is full. No use having empty seats," he explained. "That's why I booked our flights together. Just to be safe."
"Makes sense to me!" Chloe sang as she followed Hugo while he led the way through the airport.
I shoved down my feeling of foreboding as my tentative excitement built. I hadn't really let myself look forward to the trip, always believing something would go wrong at the last minute. My ticket would go missing. I'd get held up at security. I'd miss the flight for any number of reasons.
Although we had a long journey ahead of us, with a stop in Lisbon before landing in Madrid and getting a connecting flight to Ibiza, for the first time in what felt like forever, I was excited to see what was coming my way.
I just hoped I wouldn't regret it.