1
Isa
Whirlwind adventures weren't for planners. They weren't for the meticulous list-makers who couldn't function without order in their lives.
They weren’t for girls like me.
"Where the hell did I put my packing list?!" I groaned, looking around the room in search of the worn slip of paper I’d abused over the past week. Moving to the desk in the corner with the stack of books about Spain I'd borrowed from the library, I shoved them to the edge frantically.
"Language, nohsehsaeh," my grandmother warned, poking her head into the room. The lines on her face were lighter than I could remember them ever being. The circles under her eyes had faded after she'd been selected for a medical grant and had the bypass heart surgery she needed.
"Sorry," I said with a wince, finally finding the paper with my notes all over it. The edges were torn from all the nights I'd spent agonizing, ensuring that I wouldn't forget anything I needed for my trip to Ibiza. "What if I forget something?"
"I am sure Hugo will make sure you have everything you need," she reassured me, stepping in and wrapping her arms around me. "He wouldn't allow you to visit his country without making sure you're prepared. He cares for you," she said, pressing her lips to the top of my head.
"It's not like that," I explained, and my grandmother nodded her head in response. My family adored Hugo and had practically adopted him as we grew closer after Odina's betrayal left a void in my heart. But my grandmother was the only one who didn't think we'd end up together.
"It is good that it's not. Hugo still plans to stay in Ibiza when your trip is over, yes?" she asked. I nodded, trying not to think about the loss of one of my best friends.Bothof them really, since Chloe would go off to college in Philadelphia while I stayed in Chicago to be close to my family. "It will be strange, not having him to look out for you."
"I can look after myself," I reassured her, stepping out from her arms as I looked over the packing list one last time and tried to heave my suitcase closed. My breath caught in my chest as I turned to face her, remembering how weak she'd been after the surgery a few months prior. I couldn't shake the thought that something bad was coming for us, andnothingcould be worse than losing my grandmother. "Are you sure you'll be alright while I'm gone?"
She scoffed. "I don't need my granddaughter to babysit me. I'll survive the twelve days without you, my darling girl." She sat on the edge of my bed, patting the mattress for me to join her. I did, willing to give my grandmother anything. She sighed. "Promise me you'll have fun. A girl should live a little on vacation. Real life will wait until you get back. Try not to worry so much."
"I'll try," I said, even knowing it was probably a lie. I'd explore with Hugo and Chloe at my side. I'd enjoy my time with my friends while I had it, but I didn't know the first thing about actually living.
My eyes caught on Odina's empty bed and the lack of mess on what had once been her side of the room. "You're not your sister," Grandmother said, reaching up to touch my cheek. "You can let go a little without being lost." I nodded, even if I doubted the words. There'd been a time when Odina and I were exactly the same, before the accident changed everything.
Before she hated me enough to ruin her life just to make me miserable.
"Okay," I said, instead of arguing. The same demons that haunted Odina plagued me. The same nightmares called to me from the depths. I just believed that I had a family that loved me to keep me from succumbing to their temptations, where Odina had lost that.
My grandmother stood from the bed, leaving me to grab my suitcase and lug it down the stairs. My parents greeted me, wrapping me in their arms the second my foot touched the first story. The knowledge of my trip and the suddenness of it couldn't have come at a worse time.
I'd never told them about our entries when Hugo encouraged Chloe and me to apply for the contest, because the odds of us winning had been so slim with the number of applicants. The Appreciation Program was only in its second year since being created, offering American students who made their Spanish friends feel at home the chance to explore the city of their birth in Spain.
When they’d notified Chloe and I they’d selected us, there'd been nothing but shock. A shock that had come the day after graduation and the day after Odina turned her back on us for the last time. In the week since, I hadn't seen her or heard from her once.
My life was far more peaceful without her in it, and that only made my guilt worse.
"Promise me you'll call us when you land," Dad said, hugging my head to his chest. They'd set me up with an International Calling plan despite the expense, needing that ability to contact me in case of an emergency.
"I promise," I said with a tight smile to prevent his shirt fabric getting caught in my mouth. His face was too thin as I pulled back, too affected by the absence of his other daughter to eat a decent meal. I had to hope that my being gone would help.
He wouldn't have to look at Odina's face every time he looked at me.
Mom held out her arms for me to step into her embrace, her face tight with the threat of tears. "You have your Euros?" she asked.
"Yes, I have Euros and the debit card and traveler's checks from the program. I'll be fine, Mom," I said with a grimace. She nodded, wiping the tears away from her eyes.
"My baby girl," she whispered, stepping back and cupping my cheek in her hand. "You stay away from trouble, you hear me? A place like that is bound to be filled with it."
"We live in Chicago," I laughed. "It isn't exactly a Mormon community."
"I've looked at pictures on that internet," she said with a frown. "It's one big party. One with very few clothes. Did you know there are beaches where people don't wear bathing suits!" She shivered back her revulsion, looking at me in warning. "Don't you dare."
"Mom," I groaned, rolling my eyes as my grandmother chuckled in the background.
"How else is she supposed to land herself an affair with a handsome Spanish stud to show her the ways of passion?" she asked, nudging my side playfully.