There were little soaps available and I poured all of them into the water, watching it bubble up and fill the room with a warm vanilla scent that I thought maybe would smell soothing.
“Lets have a bath, huh?” I asked, coming back out and starting to remove her shoes and socks, then pants, shirt, bra.
I’d never been a fucking saint, but I was as close as I would ever be then as I didn’t gawk at her bare body, as I was careful to only touch her in chaste places as I picked her up and brought her into the bathroom to lower her into the bath.
“Massimo?” she called, voice a tiny whisper.
“Yeah, baby?” I asked, looking down at her.
“Will you come in?”
“Of course,” I agreed as I tried to name all the damn saints as I stripped out of my clothes and climbed in behind her. “Talk to me,” I suggested as I pulled her back against my chest, then rested my arms on the sides of the tub so I didn’t accidentally touch her.
“I… I don’t know what to say,” she admitted, taking a shaky breath.
“Anything. There are no wrong things to say in this sort of situation,” I told her.
“He hates me. Hated,” she corrected. “He hated me.”
“Baby, I checked out his apartment. I think he was just fucked in the head. It had nothing to do with you.”
“But it did. He resented me. For leaving when I moved in with Cody. He thought I abandoned him. And he hated me ever since then.”
“Baby, he wasn’t a little boy when you left,” I reminded her. “You don’t need to feel guilty. You raised those kids up when you were a kid yourself.”
“Logically, I know that. But it hurts. He was so cold and hard and cruel,” she told me letting out a little whimper at whatever memory she was working through. “He was going to stand by while I was tortured and raped. He was going to let that happen.”
“Like I said, Cammie, he was fucked in the head. There was no fixing that kind of sick. Nicky tried to save you,” I reminded her.
“Nicky,” she said, shooting up off my chest.
“No, he’s okay,” I said, reaching to pull her back against me. “He’s fine. I promise. Nino and August will lead him here later. There were just some loose ends.”
“Loose ends,” she repeated. “Colin.”
“Yeah, you never have to worry about Colin ever again, baby. It’s over. You’re free.”
“Free,” she repeated, voice sad.
“Yeah, I guess that isn’t as exciting as it might have been if things played out differently.”
“I’m not ungrateful. I swear, I just—“
“Hey, don’t,” I cut her off. “I would never think you’re ungrateful. You just went through hell today, baby. You’re overwhelmed and confused and upset. I don’t expect you to be leaping for joy right now. Hence the bath.”
“I have never had a good bath. Our tub when we were kids was cracked. And the one at Colin’s was too shallow. This is nice. It’s nicer that you’re here,” she added, voice small. “Thanks for coming in. You didn’t… you didn’t have to.”
“Baby, if I ever turn down the chance to take a bath with you, I want you to go find my gun, and take me out, okay?”
That managed to get a surprised little snort out of her.
“Listen, Cammie. I know this is probably a shit time, but I want to say it because I didn’t get a chance to before,” I started. “This thing here with you and me? I’m in. All in.”
“You are?” she asked, voice small.
“Yeah. I’m not expecting anything from you. I just wanted to make myself clear in case your head is in the same place. Or if you don’t know yet, that’s fine too.”
“I think I might need, like, some serious therapy for this, but I am in too.”