Gabe comes to stand next to me and peers out the window. There's another set of row houses behind our block separated by a small garden pavilion. There's several benches arranged in a semicircle.
"I can easily see myself going outside to eat lunch some days or taking a break to relax before going home at the end of a long day. I can see myself here and that excites and scares me."
"Scares you?"
I shrug. "Because if this doesn't work out, I won't just be losing the club. This is something I see more as a purpose. Something my life sorely needs right now. I just want to feel like something I do matters."
I turn and he's looking down at me with an expression of wonder on his face.
"You're important to so many people, Sasha. How can you not know that? Your family, your friends, hell even Finn threatened to castrate me if I screwed around with you."
My mouth drops open. "Finn said that?"
A slow grin eases over his mouth. I love that expression on him. He's so serious most of the time that it's a joy to see when his guard drops.
"Not in those words exactly. It was a little more subtle, something about not wanting to have to make our business his business. It loses something in the translation. I think you had to be there to see the menacing look in his eyes."
A warm feeling flows through me. "So that's why you said we have to be just friends?" It makes me feel a little better to know that he wasn't lying about that.
"That actually happened after you left. But I knew all along that my brothers wouldn't be pleased if they saw us together. Tank and Finn both consider you family now. I heard about how you've been visiting their mom along with Emma."
I shrug, even though it makes me sad to think about it. "Emma lost her parents so she's really attached to Claire now. I was happy to go with her. Everyone needs a little laughter and girl talk sometimes."
"Maybe that's what draws me to you," he whispers. He's talking so softly I'm not sure he even means for me to hear him. "I couldn't figure out what it was that kept drawing me back to you. Kept me thinking about you even when we were apart. But it's that kindness. That sweetness. You're just so real. It makes me want that for myself."
His hand slips underneath my hair, his thumb tracing a drugging path back and forth behind my ear. I have to clench my stomach against a wave of longing. Everything about Gabe Marshall turns me on and I don't think he even realizes it.
"Gabe…"
That's all I get out before his mouth is on mine. We back up and I jump when my back hits the wall. I stretch up on my tiptoes and anchor my arms behind his head. Every time he touches me it's the same, this sudden scorching blaze that seems to tear through all my resistance. His other hand comes up to frame my face.
He's such a contradiction when he holds me like this, like I'm precious and like he wants to take me on the floor at the same time.
His hands move to my waist and his fingers inch down, down, down between my legs. I pant against his mouth as he rubs me through the
fabric of my jeans. I look up and he's watching me. I nod my permission and he slides the zipper down.
The sound in the quiet space is the most erotic thing I've ever heard. He holds my gaze as his hand slips beneath the waistband. Then I can't keep my eyes open anymore because he's stroking me, gentle little flicks across the lips of my sex, like he's just teasing me.
"I'm supposed to stay away from you. I'm not supposed to be here. But I just can't help myself." His words sound almost angry but then he takes my mouth again as one finger slides deep.
I break apart, crying out his name, the soft sound echoing around us in the quiet of the room. He stays with me, thrusting gently, letting me ride his finger. When I open my eyes he's watching me intently.
"That was beautiful. God damn." The hand on my cheek tightens, holding me still so that I can't avoid his eyes. What I see there shocks me.
He looks … hungry.
When he slides his finger free, I want to cry out again at the loss. I can see him closing up right in front of me, putting his desire back behind whatever wall he uses to keep himself so remote. It's heartbreaking to witness after seeing him so open just a few minutes ago.
He kisses me on the forehead. Part of me wants to drag him back down for a real kiss but I can sense that he's working through something. And I can't force him to want the same things I do.
"I have to go. I would stay and help but I need to check on something."
"You should be careful. If you want me to think you're a bad guy, you have to stop being so nice."
Gabe gives me a crooked smile. "It's all an illusion. Lock up behind me."
"Okay, I will. Trust me, I've gotten the safety lecture from Eli a million times."